As if their complete domination of New York City's every street corner didn't prove their evil mettle, the corporate caffeine-pushers behind the human drone refueling station known as Starbucks have sunk to a new low. They destroyed the Starship once and for all.

Let us explain. Over in Seattle, where the devil wears a green apron, Stranger writer David Schmader attended the Starbucks Licensed Store Awards, a sort of pep rally for the brave men and women who risk steam burns day in and day out to keep your latte-addicted heart pumping. While there, he taped an awful cover version of Jefferson Starship's anthemic "We Built this City" with groan-inducing Starbucks-centric lyrics.

We warn you, this isn't pretty: "We Built this Starbucks."

It's enough to put us off of coffee. Until tomorrow morning.

Last Days [The Stranger]

[Logo via Los Rudos]

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