While mystery pizzas are falling on the East Village, the uptown kids are getting much luckier. Mystery cigarettes, it seems, are falling all over Manhattan, but only north of 23rd. A tipster incredulously reports:

Last Thursday, a pack of Marlboro Lights literally fell out of the sky and landed next to me on the corner of 39th and Park, a block away from my job. I assumed it had fallen out of a window or a ledge, or been tossed out of a car by mistake, though what kind of smoker would accidentally discard an almost-full pack of cigarettes, I have no idea....

On Saturday, I found another pack of Marlboro Lights in the crosswalk on 24th and 10th. Finding a second almost-full pack of cigarettes in three days seemed weird; finding two packs of the same brand seemed kind of uncanny.

This morning, I found a third pack of cigarettes, this one full with the plastic on, on 93rd and Broadway. This is a pack of Merit Lights; not the same brand, but still a Philip Morris company.

I'm curious whether I'm the only person this has happened to, or if there's a conspiracy/publicity campaign/alien invasion/terrorist attack. Either Philip Morris is working with Cornerstone or God wants me to die of cancer.

So, which is it? Does God want our tipster dead? Or is this a big Phillip Morris gimmick? Let us know if you've got any insight, or just some good conspiracy theories.

Oh, and if you can, try to get God/Phillip Morris to move this campaign further downtown, too. We've got some delicious pepperoni we'd be happy to trade for it.

Earlier: Mystic Pizza at Astor Place