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shoe attack
Copycat Shoe-Hurler Terrorizes Transit Authority
A deranged straphanger attempted to assault the MTA's chief executive with a shoe at a hearing today. Thankfully police apprehended the man and seized his deadly Oxfords. More » -
douchebag zone
Express Train To Douchebaggery
With recent MTA budget cuts and fare increases across the board to come next year, soon riding the New York City subway will be a privilege reserved for the few that can afford it. Somewhere along the way, the city's travelers will transfer from whatever line they're riding on to an express train as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It lies between the pit of man's fear and the summit of his knowledge. Via the seminal Tofutti Break, those passengers will be riding the subway known as The Douchebag Express. Click here to ride it. -
service alert
MTA Screwing You
Attached is a 100% real screengrab of recent transactions from your day editor's checking account. The two debits here are from an MTA New York City transit MetroCard vending machine. Actually two card machines, because the first one didn't work. And neither did the second one! There were no posted notices anywhere, but apparently it's a system-wide outage—no MTA kiosk can process any debit or credit card transactions, as a Service Alert that was just posted online this morning kind of hints at. (And now that service alert is gone!) But—as you can see—you will still be charged for trying. Ha ha ha. The MTA claims accounts will be credited after two business days, but hey, sucks to be you if you end up with an overdraft charge after you try two or three machines, right? -
urban anthropology
Dear D.C.: Whatever, Our Rats are Better Than Yours
Washington D.C.'s transit authority thinks they're so much better than NYC, taking a cheap shot at our subway rats and showing a picture of a rat asking, "You gonna eat that?" City Room reports on the prissy D.C. Metro ads urging passengers not to eat or drink on the train: "Unlike some subway systems (which will remain nameless), you don't see rats the size of house cats roaming the Metro. Why not? Because we are so strict about eating and drinking in the system. So help us keep the critters away. Please don't eat or drink on the Metro." Hey, youse try cramming 8 million people into a city and see if you can do any better! [City Room] -
grammar
'Times' Excited By Proper Punctuation
The Times was sooo thrilled to find a vaguely correct use of a semicolon on a subway ad that they tracked down the copywriter (who has a degree in creative writing, natch) and wrote a whole cutesy piece about how rare it is that civilians punctuate properly. Then they asked various famous linguists and grammarians to comment: More » -
hike the fare-old
UN-FARE! MTA APPROVES HOLIDAY HIKE
- 30-day unlimited cards are now $81, 7-day cards $25, and the brand-new 14-day card will be $47.
- "The bonus for regular pay-per-ride cards will be reduced to 15 percent from 20 percent, but the threshold for receiving the bonus will also be reduced, to $7 from $10" and we don't know how this works exactly because who the hell is buying a $7 MetroCard?? Do people commute on the AirTran or something? More »
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dumb bunnies
"As A New Yorker," Socialite Lydia Hearst Finds Subway Rate Hike Un-"fare"
Again, there's cause to wonder: does Page Six Magazine purposely refuse to edit the ramblings of heiress-model Lydia Hearst so that their magazine will be mentioned online? "It's absurd that the MTA is raising the rate of the monthly MetroCard but keeping the single rate fair [SIC!] at $2, so the tourists keep their discount. As a New Yorker, I feel like I am being penalized because I ride the subway more often than not and buy the unlimited 30-day card," begins Lydia's latest. More » -
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if you see something, steal something
Now the MTA is literally stealing from us! If you're foolish enough to deliver lost property to a bus or subway worker, chances are slim that'll it end up in the "lost property storage unit," according to a probe by the MTA's inspector general's office. Investigators posing as passengers handed 26 items to MTA employees and ended up recovering three of them. And apparently the lost property unit itself is a gold mine of unsecured valuables! Wallets and "several years worth of passports" are all sitting in unlocked drawers and cabinets—and "unauthorized workers from other divisions" are running wild throughout. Free passports for everyone! [NYDN] -
In Brief
When Hero Governor Eliot Spitzer got the MTA to freeze subway fares at $2, he also promised that the raises in other fares would drop from the proposed 6.5% to 3.85%. So naturally the MTA is now going to raise the cost of the monthly unlimited Metrocard from $76 to $81, in the hopes that no one will bother to do the math involved in figuring out that everyone is a greedy liar. [NYT] More » -
thanks for the passenger pigeons
Hooray! The Daily News took on City Hall and beat the Transit Hike! All New Yorkers owe those intrepid journalists a huge debt of gratitude for personally finding the MTA an extra $220 million and forcing them to delay their fare increase for a year or two. The 7% of Subway riders who pay the $2 cash fare are sleeping easy tonight. The vast majority of us who use the multiple-ride and unlimited monthly Metrocards, prices of both of which are still expected to rise, will grin and bear it like usual. Thanks, Daily News! [NYDN] -
protests
Reactions to the MTA's proposed fare hike ($2.25/ride, unspecified increases to monthly and weekly metrocards, and higher prices for LIRR and Metro-North tix): "Hell no," "I find it ridiculous," and "Ladies and gentlemen, fuhgeddaboutit!" (that last from Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz. Does he have any other purpose?). The increase will most likely happen anyway, starting early next year. Because you don't matter. [NYP] -
mta powerless against water falling from the sky
"With weather forecasters predicting flash flooding and heavy thunderstorms in New York City, the Metropolitan Transportation Authority faces the possibility of additional service shutdowns Friday as it struggles to clear tracks of debris left from Tuesday's flood and readies the system to handle more rain." Our commute seemed fine this morning, but we get up pretty early. And guess what? It's STILL SLIGHTLY RAINING. [NYS] -
american heroes
Right To Drink Won On LIRR, Metro North
We live in an era of apathy and cynicism. Government is broken; religion fails to relieve the anxiety of the age; torpor and resigned acceptance are the default responses to the inconveniences and incivilities life throws in our way on a daily basis. So when a group comes together and rouses itself against injustice, despite the arduous effort and unlikely odds of success, that group deserves to be celebrated, nay, put forth as a model for others to follow. More » -
mta
Irish People Demand Right To Drink Anywhere
So a bunch of angry Irish folks have put down their pints of Powers Gold Label long enough to feel aggrieved by something, which, let's face it, is their favorite thing to do after getting plastered and blowing up cars in heavily-populated areas anyway. This time Seamus and Co. are upset about "a St. Patrick's Day liquor ban on New York's commuter railroads, calling the move a gross act of stereotyping and discrimination." More » -
blogs
New MTA Trip Planner Site Actually Sort of Seems To Work
We've been playing around with the MTA's new Trip Planner, which not only provides routes when you enter starting point and destination info, but also gives estimated bus and subway arrival times, and so far . . . we hesitate to jinx this . . . it seems like it might be kind of awesome and actually useful, unlike anything else the MTA has ever done in its entire life. Unfortunately, we're far from our usual Greenpoint Avenue G proximate-haunts and are unable to test out the new system, so we were hoping you'd give it a whirl and let us know: does the subway actually come when they say it will? Or has the MTA duped us yet again? Let us know. More » -
mta
MTA Collusion Brings Drunks, Bartenders Together
Those of us who commute into Manhattan from the wilds of Long Island - and Brooklyn and Queens - are all too cognizant of the fact that there's only one thing that can make a packed-to-the-gills LIRR car tolerable: the willingness of the MTA to let us get hammered on the train for all these years. Down a couple of Bud talls and the fat fuck sitting next to you will be your compadre-for-life by the time you reach Jamaica. More » -
alcohol
And They Say That People Today Are Apathetic
It's good to know that there are still people out there who are committed to causes, who aren't afraid to unite in the face of a monolithic, hegemonic power that just wants to keep them down. Iraq, you say? Er, no. Global warming, perhaps? Wrong again. Ah, the ongoing crisis in the Middle East. Surely, that's worth putting yourself on the line for. Well ... wrong again. More » -
williamsburg
Line Between Hipstertown and Mommytown Gets Even Blurrier
(More) Bugaboos on Bedford Avenue! Even longer lines at Southpaw! Less stuff for people to gripe about in those moving back to Manhattan trend pieces! This is the good (well, hey, it's good for us) news for today: the MTA announced that it will fiiiinally respond to the population growth in the Greenpoint/Williamsburg area and add 5 stops to the G train ("long considered the step-child of the MTA"), making a trek from the Slope to the 'Burg more feasible than ever before. L train service will also double up. Thank fucking God, is all we have to say. The only tiny downside that we can see is that by the time these plans actually take effect (late 2007— early 2008), we will be too old for one of the neighborhoods and still too poor for the other. Oh well. More » -
subway
We'd Prefer To Set The Record For Staying Off The Subway, But That's Just Us
To follow-up on our transit transients who intended to break the record formost egregious waste of timefastest ride through the entire NYC subway system, covering all of 230 miles in the process. More » -
subway
Riding the Entire Subway in Record Time (and Other Lessons in Defying Reality)
Tomorrow at 6 AM, suspected bong collectors Matt Green and Don Badaczewski (above) will get off of their couch and attempt to break the world record for riding the entire NYC subway system in the least amount of time. The current unconfirmed record stands at 25 hours, 11 minutes, but Green and Badaczewski will attempt to subvert the laws of MTA's nature and beat the time — though, just from the looks of them, we worry that they've not contacted the proper record-keeping authorities. ("Dude, you said YOU were gonna call!") From their press release, written in the third person: More » -
jews
Making Your Turban MTA-Approved
Last year, Sikh station agent employee Trilok Arora and others sued the MTA over its requirement that they wear the MTA logo on their turbans. Arora still refuses to wear the logo and only pins it to his turban when ordered by a supervisor. Unfortunately he was photographed during one of those logo-wearing instances, and he's found himself pictured in his MTA turban in a brochure outlining MTA dress codes. Arora is embarrassed to have emerged as an unwitting poster boy for a policy he's against; the MTA, however, stridently monitors the proper appropriation of their logo. But we think these two can meet each other halfway: More » -
jews
MTA vs. JFJ In Final Apocalyptic Fight for Souls of Branded-Merchandise Wearers
The MTA may not care how much shit the Jews for Jesus slap against its walls, but let them make a graven image using the transit agency's logos and the anger of the righteous finally descends. Seems the MTA has trademarked the concept of letters with a circle around them for almost the entire alphabet, and they're none to pleased by the JFJ's attempts to use their logotypes on T-shirts. The JFJ, on the other hand, had this rather curious reaction: More » -
mta strike
Oh When Toussaint Goes Marching In
Transit union leader Roger Toussaint reports to the Tombs this afternoon to being serving his 10-day sentence for leading the three-day strike against the MTA in December in violation of the state's Taylor Law. The News prints an exclusive! interview with Toussaint today, conducted on the eve of his incarceration, in which he talks about what a challenge this will be, especially for his family. More » -
headlines
Prisoner of Second Avenue Subway News
Now that they've finally broken ground — or "lifted rail," or whatever they've done — on the High Line, it seems we might never again see one of those delightfully repetitive "High Line Approved! For Now!" headlines. How to fill the void? With the perhaps-apocryphal Second Avenue Subway, of course. Let the "Second Avenue Subway Approved! For Now!" headlines begin. It's all you, Newsday. More » -
metro
MTA Talks Move More Slowly Than the F
D'oh. Talking! Why didn't somebody think of that before? More » -
mta
And at Night, They Sleep on Piles of Benjamins
Though we may choose to ignore it, transit workers and the MTA have yet to reach an actual agreement. Though we believe (or pray, anyhow) that the situation won't plummet to the hellish depths of December's strike, we found the above chart rather helpful. It's not exactly news but, should things get ugly, this is the sort of information you need to appropriately direct your anger. If we hate together, we can win together. More » -
photos
Mobile Dickhead; or, The Whale
This picture showed up in our inbox late last night. We have no idea when it's from. (The emailer says it was taken on an uptown 6, just above Canal, at about 11 at night. But it's clearly an IND/BMT train car, not an IRT, which makes us skeptical of the other claims.) All we know is that if we had to look at that hairy white gut, well, dammit, so do you. More » -
amnew york
Free Newspapers: Highly Combustible Garbage
Our beloved officials at the MTA announced yesterday that refuse left behind from riders has resulted in "about 15 tons more trash a day" than in 2004. Authorities noted communter newspapers like AM New York and Metro, which are hawked outside of subway entrances, are particularly responsible in the increase in garbage, and "may be in large part to blame for a surge in track fires." More » -
mta
And Their Fate Is Still Unlearned
Yeah, the strike was messy and inconvenient and unpleasant, but it least it finally made a deal happen on all those employment issues. What? Oh, right. More » -
photos
Ghost in the Machine, NYC Version
On the E train this morning. "No eyeholes or anything," the photographer astutely points out, "so I doubt it is a burka." Any better guesses? -
mta
The MTA Gives Your Trash a Second Glance
The latest in harder-to-hide-bombs-in trash-receptacle technology, spotted this morning at Jay Street-Borough Hall: More » -
subway
The MTA: An Express Train to the Future!
For what seems like the last decade or so, L train riders — and not just the Williamsburg hipsters whose inconveniences we've all mutually agreed to Schadenfreudically enjoy, but also normal people just trying to get back and forth between the West and East Villages — have been plagued by near-constant weekend and nighttime service interruptions. Must change to a different train at Third Avenue! No service between Lorimer and Eighth! The whole line is closed! It has been a colossal pain in the ass, but, deep down, we knew it was for a good cause: The TA was installing fancy new signaling equipment, systems using computers and radio transmitters and other newfangled technologies invented in the century since the subway's electromechanical signaling system was developed. More » -
lindsay lohan
Gawker's Week in Review: Lohan Moves From Punchline to Tragedy
• Lindsay Lohan admits to Vanity Fair that she's used drugs and struggled with bulimia. When we blow rails and boot our brunch, we usually go to Graydon Carter for confessional, too. More » -
mta
Metrocards: A Happy Ending
As you'll recall, the MTA's gratuitous, financially unsound, and arguably strike-encouraging holiday-season ride-for-a-buck special left some riders with odd balances remaining on their Metrocards. A cantankerous pal was left with a single buck; we with $13. At first, we didn't know it was possible to add non-round amounts to a 'Card, but you quickly disabused us of that notion. So we hightailed it to our local IND stop, at which we further proved our stupidity and, without going into an explanation, left the station with a balance of $33.40, which was far worse than the $13 we entered with.
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