After yesterday's news of a bouncer who pulled a gun on patrons, killing one and wounding three others, bouncer-blogger Rob from Clublife is, once again, on the top of lazy journalists' Google searches. As a response, he tells us, to the 20-something media calls he received yesterday, Rob has issued his thorough explanation of how some bouncers become murderers:

I don't want to kill the customers. I joke about it sometimes, though. I send text messages throughout the night to the smoking hot Asian. I text her about tear gas. I text her about hooking up a hose to my car exhaust and gassing the place out. I fantasize with other bouncers about "Chainsaw Thursdays," where midway through the evening, when the room reaches its peak, we're all given five minutes to tear through as much clubflesh and clubbone as we can. With chainsaws.

See, a good bouncer only fantasizes about killing you.

The Shooting [Clublife]
Earlier: Bouncer Goes Above and Beyond, Kills Patrons

Contact information for this author is not available.