Gawker
So yesterday Peter Braunstein's attorney read a couple excerpts from his client's journals.
In them, Mr. Braunstein described how he had spoken with God three times, beginning when he was 13. He said he expected to go to heaven, while Anna Wintour, the editor of Vogue magazine, would go to hell.Any additional commentary would be superfluous.
He wrote that he identified with the victims of Hurricane Katrina, because they were poor and did not care about fashion and status. And he wrote that he expected to be killed by the police when he was captured.
Meanwhile, he wrote, "Wintour will be escorted by eunuchs to a place in hell run entirely by large rats." As for himself, he wrote, "I'll be in heaven, along with Joan of Arc, Biohazard's mom and Aaron Spelling."
In Court, Details of Sex Play With Suspect [NYT]
Braunstein Diaries [Court TV]
Comments
"Wintour will be escorted by eunuchs to a place in hell run entirely by large rats."
So she'll still be editor of Vogue, then.
I believe that he is entirely correct about Wintour's fate. Regarding Aaron Spelling: not so sure.
I don't know, this is almost too good to be true. Methinks he's crazy, alright. Crazy like a rat. A rat that has dominion over Wintour.
why do I always fall for the crazy ones?
Wow. Started talking to God when he was thirteen? His bar mitzvah must've been way better than mine.
He even manages to work in shout-outs to both Biggie and Tupac. Impressive.
Who's this "Biohazard," what happened to his mom and why is she rooming with Joan of Arc? No seriously, I need to know.
@TedSez: I'm imagining Andre Leon Talley gnawing on some Slovenian model's clavicle while wearing a giant rodent costume, complete with whiskers and a long tail.
"Biohazard" is his nickname for Wintour. Seriously
If Aaron Spelling is in heaven, does that mean that his fug kids get a free pass? Because I don't think heaven can handle that many people with big boggle eyes.
God says stuff like that to me all the time when He's baked. When I see His number on caller ID, I don't even pick up anymore because it's gonna be some rant about how 'Love Boat' was soooo underappreciated by critics and He's gonna smite them and kill broadcast tv forever with free video uploads blah blah blah.
Maybe he's dyslexic on top of everything else and gets his tip from a neighbor's dog.
"[T]ips," not "tip."
Sorry.
Couldn't God have reminded Peter, perhaps, that a cold-blooded, premeditated rape and torture session is, like, a sin or something? Guess it slipped his mind.
What God decided that his victim had to put up with his putrid ravings being published for the whole world to see? The fact that he babbles about the famous doesn't make that poor has to suffer even more. Please....
ech, forgive the grammar in the above, I was too upset. But leave her alone.
That sort of cheered me up.
actually, i think those people did care about status.
like they didn't want to be the ones relegated to standing on their rooftops asking for CNN Breaking News helicopters to throw them a rope.
however you have to hand it to a lawyer using Anna Wintour, eunichs and giant rats as his client's twinkie defense.
i prefer not to know what anna wintour, aaron spelling and giant rats have to do with "Details of Sex Play With Suspect".
Idiot. Aaron Spelling's in my freezer.
Biohazard is what he started calling his ex-girlfriend when she made the peculiar decision to break up with him
There WAS a Gawker media commenter called Biohazard...
I totally want Mark Morris to work the Anna Wintour thing into a scene in The Nutcracker. That would be epic! The Prima Ballerina Wore Prada!
I'm feeling sorry for the cheerily-monikered Larkworthy. As if it's not bad enough that people (um, you did too, right?) would inevitably speculate on just what communincable disease(s) she might harbour/ poor hygiene practices that inspired the nickname "Biohazard"... now her age is out there for all the fashion world to see as well.
Braunstein. Bacillus. Brumal. : Banishment.
hey, lay off Larkworthy. Like the Fire Freak's psychoses need to have proof in the real world? He dubbed her "biohazard" in approximately the same reasonable part of his smiley thermal-imaged brain that canonized Aaron Spelling and decided Not Attaining EIC was due to a vast conspiracy and not his a-hole ways, his lack of any redeeming trait whatsoever or his tribute-to-Gene-Simmons hairstyle.
@stew:
I'm not getting on Larkworthy. I really do feel for her. Who (I speak here of the non-celebrity generis) wants their warts (and I said that people might speculate, not that she necessarily had them) exposed in the media?
@stew: Gold Star Motel
@yourfriendandneighbor: I meant this one:
I'm so pleased to know that Anna will be in hell. I feel as though her presence will add a certain je ne sais quoi to the parties I will be holding at my fabulous penthouse with River Styx views. The Devil wears Prada indeed!
Start a discussion:
Login with your username and password below. Or comment on this post via email.
Forgot your username or password? New User?