Contrary to popular belief, the worst enemy of the celebrity class is not the tabloidian gossip culture. Rather, it's education — specifically, education within earshot of someone with a blog:

TA guy: There are different types of pains, some of which go all the way to the brain and others that only go to the spinal cord.

Ashley Olsen: So do, like, emotional pains go to the brain?

—NYU Psychology building, Washington Place

Oh, young Ashley. No, emotional pains do not go to your brain. They go to Jeffrey or, more likely, your dealer.

Not as Fast as Bolivian Marching Powder [OINY]