• Dammit, we're just minutes too late, as it seems someone has already rented out Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's $35,000-a-month, never-inhabited Morton Square PleasureDome. And to think, we were so close to vomiting with the stars! [The Real Estate]
• The NYPD Safe List: If you're white, you win. [Muk Report]
• We, too, have wondered where the jock straps have gone. Just when we were old enough to touch a warm one, they went out of style. Life is so unfair. [Slate]
• CNN explores the "gay side" of Desperate Housewives, as if there were any other kind. [CNN]
• It's the Gray Lady Gone Wild, Ozarks Edition.[NYT]

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