• It was an emotional week for all of us: Life & Style declared the death of TomKat. As we try to wrap our heads around the implications of such heartbreak, it's important to keep some historical perspective.
• Meanwhile, we were faced with Us Weekly's gut-wrenching claim that Jessica Simpson is a ho, having cheated on Nick Lachey with Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine. Star calls bullshit on the scoop, because it's only true if your magazine breaks it first.
• The evils of pop culture know no limit: Meet the sex tape from Kid Rock and Scott Stapp.
• Budget Living is going, going, and, sadly, gone.
• But, as there's no justice in this world, Shop, Etc. continues to thrive.
• We fall in love with faggy Olympic figure skater Johnny Weir, only to have him break our hearts.
• Time Inc. finally ends the bloodshed, but we've yet to get the names of layoff victims.
• The people have spoken: the Funny Pages are not funny, nor have they ever been.
• First JT Leroy; now, possibly, Pete Doherty. Are all our antiheroes just a skeezy mirage?

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