It would make a great Christmas gift for Balk. (Balk, don't read this.)

My boyfriend would love this! Too bad I plan on giving it to my whore waitress.

If Marc Ecko wins the auction, my vote goes to: 1) shoot it into space or 2) brand it with an asterisk.

Back of house does love the front of house.

Hopefully, she uses the proceeds to slim down and learn how to give a good beefpumping, so she can hold on to her next man.

Girl, get your "head" right!

Why does she hafta be a whore? Maybe it's true love. Anyway, the cynicism here is making me very sad.

@TheHonJudgeSmails: It's just like a guy to let promotion go to his head and then wander off after another catbag.

@TheHonJudgeSmails: Unless you're hiding an impressive rack under your robe, I don't think your column will be as successful as Tionna's.

If this whore waitress has any kind of savvy, she'll order it and give it to her new man!

@sexbot: HA! Brilliant!

@Wrath of Farrakhan: I am hiding nothing but a penile masturbatory aid under my robe, like this guy: [www.thesmokinggun.com]

Britney Canada Whore strikes again!

I will not buy artwork sullied by infidelity.

which restaurant? so one can flaunt their signed copy at the chef.

*But I am really rooting for the woman who got cheated on*

@nutmeg:

Nicely done.

Ah, the unimpeachable power of the local sous chef. It's almost as good as the time I got promoted to head espresso maker at the Papermill Playhouse Concession stand. I got a lot of pleasure out of bossing the parking attendants around.

@Ha Ha Sound: Kinda makes you wanna go out and get SOUSed, don't it?

I don't like waitresses as much now that the cigarette smoke smell is absent. I can't do it on the deep-fryer and grill-scented hair alone.

Meh... maybe if it was this one...

@Sarcastro: i spit particles of a chipotle burrito on my screen when i read that.

@whokilledallthemandelas: Trophy waitress?

That comic isn't really even that funny.

I think she's really generous to give her herpes-ridden boyfriend to a waitress, and his herpes to the waitress's boyfriend. This whole thing is just dripping with altruism.

See, if they'd have been Maakies fans, they'd still be together.

The "celebrity chef" phenomenon is to blame, and is way out of hand. I'm sure the boyfriend is a big Bourdain fan. He probably chain smokes and delivers a lot of bad food similes like an evil, unfunny Harland Williams.

and seriously, besides gawker media, is there a more incestuous place to work than a restaurant? every restaurant or bar i've ever worked in has been a virtual game of musical orifices with just about everyone taking each other for a ride.

and i thought the hostesses were the whores?!

Hey, lady -- if you hadn't given him achewood, he wouldn't have cheated with the waitress in the first place.

@zibby: She already has a boyfriend that she lives with. That is kinda whorey, no? True love? More like True Skank.

And I know more details of this sad affair: She found out from dirty text messages on their "family plan" phone. Classy. At least he could have found someone else on Verizon so their bill didn't go over $400!

@zibby: You know, it's not actually cynicism when the event actually happened, and it actually was really stupid and brutal and mean to one party. Then it's called "the way I actually fucking feel".

@Atelier: Shut. The HELL. Up.

i just e-mailed this to chris. he said "wow. hilarious. thanks." which probably means the opposite. periods are the new scare quotes.

@the cajun boy: That moral stance is why I had to sell my Picassos. Turned out the dude had some significant commitment issues.

@nycbaby:

Karma-wise, he seems to have gotten a little kick in the pants, though. Having to move out of her apt on Sunday, a nasty snowy day, with only the kitchen staff from his restaurant to help him? Well-deserved, I'd say.

@Atelier: Seconded. Achewood is a boring, tiresome mess. It's got a whole "trying-hard-to-be-indie-but-just-really-fratty" vibe that I really don't like.

Although what the hell. I read Dinosaur Comics, so I'm weird like that.

@the cajun boy: I dunno, the hostesses at restaurants always seem like teases to me. You'd probably have to wait 10 minutes to an hour for sex.

@Pope John Peeps II: I'm still sad.

This is kind of a good candidate for The Saddest Thing.

This never would have happened if they had just enjoyed Dennis the Menace together.

This whole thing happened once in a strip of Family Circus. Jeffy had been promoted to head "buhsketti" maker.

@pissy elliott: I haven't read it - but I do know that Mary Jo Eustace, (whose husband for those of you wondering is the dude that impregnated/married Tori Spelling) got dumped right after she and Dean had adopted a baby.

They were ALL at the Much Music Video Awards this year and Tori had security remove her when she saw her. Hmm... what else. Oh right, she then wrote a book called My Husband Left Me for Tori Spelling.

@nutmeg: Which I think in combination is the saddest thing ever.

Hasn't most of humanity worked in a restaurant at some point in our shitty lives? They are all just a place to spit on assholes doggy bag food and hook up with the slut waitresses (or 40 something divorced bartenders).

Please click on the image (or on the Achewood site) for high-resolution enjoyment. Your life will be better for it.

@Nutmeg: Oh no!!!

@scroll_lock: I read that one! Classic Family Circus. It made the ghost grandparents weep.

i bet the girlfriend did a :( and the chef had no choice but to leave her.

@nycbaby: I just want to say that, uh, I didn't really think that this was true love or anything, cynicism rarely makes me sad, and whatever the woman's whore score might be, the dude certainly sounds like a sad excuse for a man. The details sound pretty lousy. Anyhow, weigh against my tendency to make smartass comments the fact that I have never behaved like this idiot, even when I was younger and stupider. I think it sucks.

heh he, you don't like when i talk about my bonin, do you?

i'm sorry i said i boned a waitress [auction lady]

@Sarcastro: The walls of your home - obviously bare.

@Cesare_the_Somnambulist: Hahaha! Is there any other kind?