reading off a pre-written card? not so much.

also "jesus wept"? duh. any fake christian knows that.

What's with Larry asking if a strip search is as gross as we've heard it is?

Larry pleaded no contest to passing a bad check decades ago & received a pardon for it later.
But here's his mug shot, so I guess he got strip searched too.
[www.thesmokinggun.com]

do not want to see "paris hilton" "larry king" and "nailed" in the same paragraph.

Did Larry King really nail her?

That's disgusting.

At first I thought his obsession with her strip search was just creepy. Then he came out with, "Is it as gross as we think it is?" I'm wishing and hoping that "it" didn't refer to the search, and now I can't stop laughing. You da man, Larry!

You know, the weight she picked up in prison looks good on her.

Doing a cavity search on Paris Hilton must be the most boring thing in the world. You tell her to bend over and shine the bat signal in there, making sure you don't miss any side caverns.

If all it takes it a few days in jail to make someone like Paris Hilton act like a normal human being...then maybe (virtually) anyone can find redemption.

Of course, you have to have morals first.

personally i'd be more humiliated if an ex leaked our sex tape which then was downloaded/rented/bought by millions, but whatevs. a few officers doing a strip search is probably terrible too.

How can these ladies get back on their feet IF THEY CAN'T EVEN FIT INSIDE THE BUILDING????

WOW, where have I been I thought Paris Hilton O.D. ages ago.

Never taken drugs. Lolz. And I've never given a blow job to a friendly stranger.

I love when she reads her book report about how women in prison don't have homes to go back too! I am so glad she learned about poverty and social stratfication and it only cost tax payers around $1,100 per day!

I kept wondering why her eyes look so dead, and realized it's because she isn't wearing her blue contact lenses. How incredibly bold of her to show off her solidarity with the brown-eyed girls! Forget Jesus - I wept when confronted with such selfless sacrifice.

so embarassing to be strip searched by "somebody i dont know". What about all the people she does know?

I love how Blair's departure from office is just a teletyped moving headline at the bottom of the screen.

"Hilton out of Jail"
"Blair out of Office"

Get that Hilton interview!

And "Fox with Facts" continues its proud decline.

Hey, um, Paris? That part with the pillar of salt is particularly hot. You should check it out.

@Greasy Thumb Guzik:

um, you can definitely get mugshots without being strip searched... i thought an arrest record was a prerequisite for being a gawker commenter.

and i'm so glad that lk finally made the jail/prison distinction. you don't go to prison to serve a 23 day sentence.

@Greasy Thumb Guzik:

Second grossest thing ever: Paris' strip search.

Grossest thing ever: Larry King asking about Paris' strip search.

I could totally see the Hilton Halfway House For Wayward Women. That would be so hot.

Wait- she really just said she's never done drugs? Don't we have her smoking weed on tape and have pictures of 'frosting' in her nose? As follow-ups to determine validity he should've asked if she's ever used the N word or blown a Shannen Doherty's ex in front of a night vision camera.

I love that last night on The Daily Show Michael Moore was so open about how he was supposed to be the full hour of Larry King & got bumped for Paris.

[onegoodmove.org]
[onegoodmovemedia.org]

You could tell Paris Hilton 2.0™ was prepped and preened to within an inch of her Christian life, simply because she answered, crisply, "Yes" to so many questions, where before she would have cocked her head and emitted "uh, yeauhh."

One of the little things I loved is Paris saying "vicious circle." Is it just me, or is the term vicious cycle?!

gawker, up all night reportage.
seems to be a new trend?

This really went on for an hour?

@momo: An UGLY new trend, yes.

Larry King owes me an hour of my life back.

@laurosaur:
Considering that King was originally charged with 14 counts by the feds, I have a feeling he spent some time in the lockup, which means he was told to spread those cheeks!
Which is appalling as some poor US Marshal had to look at that!

Dammit. I was waiting for her favorite Bible passage to be "Blessed are the cheesemakers."

I Corinthians 13:11

When I was a celebuskank, I spake as a table-dancer,
I understood as a rail-blower, I thought as a partygirly:
but when I became an ex-con,
I put away childish things.

Nonono... the grossest thing ever was Larry asking, "You do know what the strip search is for, don't you?" [awkward pause, uncomfortable eye contact] "Uh, yeauuhhhh."

Why, Larry? Whyeee?

Yeah, I know for a fact that she does the drugs...of the columbian variety. She once got busted at the Chanel store in the toilet by a very close family member.

Isaiah 61:1

The Spirit of, like, the Lord GOD is upon me; because, like, the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the public school bitches; he hath sent me to, like, bind up the brokenhearted, which is hot, to proclaim liberty to the captives, who are, like, fat, and the opening of the prison to firecrotches; Mom!

What's the betting that a video of the strip search mysteriously turns up on Youtube before being released on DVD?

@dirtypillows:

Colombian variety? She's hooked on moutain grown coffee? DAMN YOU, JUAN VALDEZ!

@farklefish:

No, it's vicious circle.

And I don't mean to alarm you, but this means Paris is smarter than you.

@MisterHippity:

Actually, both are acceptable.

All it really means is that Paris is a Dane Cook fan. (Or a Zero Boys fan.)

Was being strip searched really the most humiliating experience of her life?

@B4NT4: Yes, it was. Having sex with some fat old guy for cocaine was not humiliating, just as it wasn't "taking drugs".

Welcome to Bizzaro world.

BIZASIZZALIZZYIZZO - As usual with Moore, it's best to laugh at most of he says but only believe about half of it.

My remote control magically turned the channel when Paris said "When I was in jail..." for the fourth time.

LK: "What's your favorite biblical passage?"

PH: "There's a passage I got memorized.
Ezekiel 25:17. 'The path of the
righteous man is beset on all sides
by the inequities of the selfish
and the tyranny of evil men.
Blessed is he who, in the name of
charity and good will, shepherds
the weak through the valley of the
darkness. For he is truly his
brother's keeper and the finder of
lost children. And I will strike down upon thee
with great vengeance and furious
anger those who attempt to poison
and destroy my brothers. And you
will know I am the Lord when I lay
my vengeance upon you.' I been
sayin' that shit for years. And if
you ever heard it, it meant your
ass. I never really questioned
what it meant. I thought it was
just a cold-blooded thing to say to
a motherfucker 'fore you popped a
cap in his ass."

@VelveteenHabit:
Yes, but the "vicious cycle" version only is acceptable only Brooklyn, because that's how they pronounce it.

(Besides, Wikipedia finds everything acceptable -- isn't that the point?)

So I'm the only one who thought she looked aroused while talking about the strip search?

@Scooter34: Actually this makes more sense now. Maybe she thought he meant have you taken drugs. As in stolen them from somebody else. And she was all "No - they were always bought for me or by me!" The world makes sense again.

I personally think her next move is to come out with a cookbook. Just seems safe enough somehow.

I kept thinking of a second grader trying to practice "reading with expression."

I hope Larry King had the decency to forget her name.

Scout, you act like he has a choice...

He's been non compos mentus for a while now.