A reader was apparently handed this card by a tall, dreadlocked man outside the East Village gay bar Eastern Bloc* sometime this weekend — and now we totally know what we want for our next birthday. We can't imagine anything better than a personalized performance from a tall Jewish rapper — except maybe for a performance from a tall Jewish rapper who is, judging from the seal in the card's lower left corner, endorsed by The New Republic. Score.

* Entirely separately, we saw a Facts of Life quintet of drag queens there Friday night: Natalie, Tootie, Jo, Blair, and Mrs. Garrett, all in their burgundy Eastland Academy vests. If the Jewish rapper is unavailable, a performance by the girls would be a satisfactory birthday surprise, too. Just so you know.

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