Had your breakfast yet? Digested that Zone bar and everything? Excellent. We've waited a bit to bring you this story out of general good taste, but once you pass 10 A.M., everything's fair game. Say hello to Dr. Berish Strauch, head of plastic surgery at Montefiore in The Bronx. Dr. Strauch is currently being sued for malpractice by thirteen different patients, one of whom accuses him of removing her belly button. Another litigant claims the doctor "lost her nipple."

We have nothing but sympathy for the poor victims of these unfortunate tragedies. On the other hand, it's nice to know that Alexis Arquette is 20 per cent closer to his dream of becoming "a real girl."

13 Sue Leading Bx. Doc [NYP]