Gawker

Rats!

"Where will David Blaine eat waffles?"

In a Plexiglass bubble suspended over an active volcano, on day 30 of his magical vigil?

Their pies are so mediocre. Fuck 'em.

Gisele will have to get poached somewhere else from now on.

"Yesterday the DOH came for Serendipity. Today, she shits for Disaster."

yes, i'll have the rat pie and could you sprinkle some powdered asbestos on there? thaaaaaaaanks.

"Food that shitty can't be good for you." -Dept. of Health

If the UNHCR shows up, does that mean I can finally get funding for my anti-Semitic children's news show, hosted by Al-Rasid, the Death-to-Israel bear?

Have you guys ever been to We Don't Wash Our Hands After We Pee Cafe?

>> Where will David Blaine eat waffles? <<

I was going to say in the corner quitely sobbing tp himself after being gang butt-raped by the bahamian gang from Cell-Block A.

Then I remembered that was that other David illusionist guy.

That's an interesting birth control method.

Personally, I prefer to eat at the Gotta Eat a Peck of Dung Before You Die Diner.

The Five-Second Rule Bistro is also nice.

From what I understand, "Bubby" is short for "bubonic."

I think Blue Water Grill is next - I just walked by a pretty dodgy loading area that looks next to the kitchen (as a teacher I, of course, can't eat there) that was fishier than Brit's hoo ha.

Momtezuma's Revengetaurant

@BalknChain:
Revengetaurant is a very beautiful new word.

Oh Come ON...Am I to believe that Gisele eats? I mean seriously, who researched this story?

@CodePink: @MisterHippity:

For some reason I still eat at That Salmon Looks A Little Iffy So We'll Just Put It on the Salad Bar Cafeteria in my office building.

@Koala325: Seriously. But have you tried the tartar? It's to die for.

@CodePink: Thanks and I believe we have all dined at Poppy's. The duck is mada especial for you.

good fuckin' riddance. the rats had it so good there they almost looked guilty, their little noses and whiskers all bent down like, "move along, nothing to see here." and the food is terrible. the pies are fine, but come on . . . and the fucking precious clientelle with their entitled children in strollers with balloons tied to the handles. . . okay, I'll admit it, i'm bitter because I was banned for life for falling asleep at my table and shitting myself a little.

One of my favorite lunch spots is the We Don't Need No Stinkin' Expiration Dates Deli.

no serendipity? no broadway shows?

the tourists are going to be forced to go to MOTHER FUCKING MUSEUMS!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

maybe if you tried carmelized cockroach and banana, you people wouldn't judge so harshly! I didn't even order that specialty and it automatically came with my french toast! Love it! (true story by the way...never ate there after that)Also hated the poseurs, husband-hunting sears catalogue models and stupid Tribeca babies. Blah!

I appreciated Bubby's because they don't make you choose between pancakes and eggs - you can have BOTH on one plate. And their scones rock. I did however, find their 'cash only' policy sketchy. Guess it all makes sense now.

David Blaine eats no waffles. Once, when I was young and self-loathing, I interviewed to be his personal assistant. Responsibilities included buying steel cut oats and organic egg whites and "shadowing" him while he ate only these items. Something about increasing lung capacity to mass ratio. When he said I would also have to abide by this diet to encourage him, I began to rethink this career move.

Bubby's will always have a special place in my heart... the place that's reserved for those establishments whose lax carding policy allowed me to drink there when I was underage. Cheers, Bubby's.

@indiscretionista: awesome comment. helpful critter-y.

Where will all the overindulged Tribeca spawn go to terrorize patrons now that their ground zero is shuttered?