Dispatch From The Gossip Wars

Weren't we supposed to see a diminishing of hostilities at this point in the conflict? It hasn't turned out that way. After a blistering early morning attack by the establishment forces, Moktada al-Roshan's scrappy band of Radar insurgents have responded with a surprise strike of their own. Ba'ar Koveesee, the tactical genius of the Maerdi army, just launched the following retort, aimed at the heart of the government's Koran al-Steindler.

[W]e're sorry we couldn't help you out last summer, when you asked one of us if we could get you a job here, or even some freelance work. To be honest, based on your poorly-written, error-prone work at Jossip, we really didn't think you were qualified. But things worked out for you just fine, right?

Even as the Sixers struggled to cope with the blast, the following aftershock was delivered: "Nice job recognizing our photo editor Greg Garry's voice. Guess all that time you spent answering his phone at Budget Living really paid off, huh?" This devastating blow has shattered the fragile hopes of those who thought a cessation of violence might be imminent. From New York, where the bombs are falling, we're Gawker.

Confidential to Corynne Steindler [Radar]
Earlier: Page Six No Longer On Team Maer

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