Does Boston Actually Suck More Than D.C.?

Last evening, we received the following email:

Do you hate Boston, or do we just really suck? I recently got into an argument about which city sucked more, DC or Boston, with a friend and she countered by saying there is no way DC can suck more than Boston because they have a later last call, a better mass transits system and a Gawker media blog dedicated to their gossip, while in Boston nobody gives a fuck about us, the T kinda sucks and smells like human feces and our last call is retrograde at best. I don't feel like I need to explain why I think DC sucks, but does Boston actually suck more?

Generally we try to avoid thinking about Boston or D.C. at all, because to do so is boring, but occasionally our hands are forced. So we considered Boston. First, those accents, oh my God. They're like nails on a blackboard. (Did I mention I'm from Boston? Yeah.) Then there are the mass transit issues (the T shuts down by 1 a.m.), the drinking issues (last call is at 2), the white-hat issues (blech), the weird WASP-Irish-Italian nexus, the segregation, the ridiculous real estate prices (and for WHAT?), the Celtics suck, the Red Sox obsession is pathological... oh, we could go on, but we should cede the floor to D.C.

D.C. sucks, according to one of our number who's from that city, because "people are HIDEOUSLY UGLY. It's the land of people just dressing for their boring ass office all the time and actually having no idea how to dress when they're not in their sweatpants on the couch. Like, girls wear flared black pants and Nine West chunky heels, guys wear Dockers." All true, per our own observations! Also, the bars really suck, and there are faux-exclusive clubs like Last Night's Shots, which are filled with former frat brothers and sorority sisters from Southern schools. Oh, and everyone works for the Federal government, which right now means the city is crawling with smarmy Republicans. Including George Bush.

Wow, this is hard. So! We put it to you.

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