Let us know what Denton decides, k?

So if this is like a Postsecret version of Harlequin, I must inevitably ask, when do we get LOLHarlequinSecrets?

I just fantasize about Balks Cock. That is all.

Ok, I've heard of titty-fucking, but the man on that book cover is apparently getting shoulder-blade-fucked. And, strangely enough, it looks like she's having more fun than he is.

@MisterHippity: "The man on that book cover" is Fabio's real name.

@MisterHippity: I believe clavicle-fucking has been mentioned here, so why not shoulder-blades?

@Emily: "Bonjour to some serious tristesse!"
Only Tuesday and you've already made me laugh enough for the whole week. Keep it up, we may not miss Balk after all.

@MisterHippity: INVISIBLE BAK VAJINA!!!!111!

Fabio's thighs make me tingle. EWWWW on me.

"His strong manly hands probed every crevice of her silken femininity, their undulating bodies writhing in sensual rhythm, as he thrust his purple-headed warrior into her quivering mound of love pudding."

Sure wish I hadn't spent my ration of exclamation points on LOLbandgeekz 'cause something's dangling

Think more than one bird has whacked into Fabio's head? Just askin'..

I can't believe it's not baby butter

Unfortunately, I think he may be diddling her with his--ahem--big toe.

A friend of mine used to write romances.
Apparently, Harlequin readers report having a lot of sex, though the books are full of candlelit flirting and not much actual banging -- my friend's theory was the women use the books as a substitute for the foreplay they aren't getting from their bored, over-in-three-minutes husbands.

Despite many conversations with her about her work, I still do not understand Fabio. At all.

My fantasies make these lady's fantasies look like Everybody Loves Raymond.

@BalknChain: HA! Jinx. I was just reminiscing about my favorite fantasy, in which Fabio is riding a rollercoaster dressed as Apollo and is hit in the face by a goose. Oh wait - that actually happened?

I can't believe it's not better.

She looks like she's peeing by the roadside.
And apparently Fabio just has a "wide stance."

@City_Dater: It's the abs.

I <3 abs. and men in uniform. Oh wait, that was unrelated.

@shesaidwhat: I can haz gulden showerz?

Dear HarlequinRomanceReport.com,

I never thought this could actually happen to me but ...

oh hai! i wuz jus tuchin maiself n the bafrum n now m uzing you keebored.

@mindbling: ... one time, one a dank dark evening, I was walking down Perry Street on my way to Magnolia for some pudding. From out of the Marc Jacobs store came my high-school sweetheart, Darren Abernathy. Our eyes locked and my ...

@crookedE: hehe, oh and

do not want!1@

Mah membir. Is throb.

@momo: jaw dropped. Who actually shops at Marc Jacobs? Suddenly, I decided this was a two pudding night.

Ahm in yr vertybray, mekin u swoon.

@collegecallgirl: I know: ever have that fantasy with 50 RCMP officers circled around you?

I haz nek geespot. Pleez rub heer. Thanx.

@josh speed: AND their horses.

i has a skrunchee. iz not so gret aktully.

Halp! Ur doin it rong!!1!

@josh speed:

They're not holding flags in mine.

i can has hozdown?

So he waxes his chest but leaves his thighs looking like hairy hams?

@josh speed: They don't call it a Musical Ride for nothin'.

@cassandra:

Right?

Like I said, I will never understand Fabio, no matter how many people try to explain it.

RCMP Bukakke!!!1! (Say in your best cheerleader shout.)

Those aren't flags: they're just festively decorated!