Gawker
"God bless you!" wrote Steve Almond's editor Julia Cheiffetz to me, after we ran a long excerpt from Steve's new essay collection, effectively shoving the book into the consciousness of at least the 6,966 readers who clicked on the post and who may not have previously known of its existence. Today, Steve writes on the Huffington Post that "Until a few weeks ago, I'd never paid much attention to Gawker. I had a vague sense that they were a gossip website that had something to do with New York. Then my editor sent me a link to a post they wrote about me. As it turned out, they'd been talking shit about me for a while."
The recent few weeks have been very edifying though! He totally has our number now. According to Steve, we are like the Fox News in some amoral way and we "don't care about books" and "don't pretend to care about 'objectivity' or even accuracy for that matter," using as evidence quotes that referred solely to our reader-generated Stalker Map, not the actual site—you know, that thing the journalists call "taking quotes completely out of context."
"If this country ever hopes to rouse itself from the moral torpor marked by the Bush years, we are going to have to end our addiction to Gawking, and face up to the common crises of state." Steve concludes. Hey, buddy, don't let us keep distracting you. You get back in there and keep up your impressive and fruitful struggle against the evils of our time.
Comments
Oh Steve. First Oprah now Gawker. But I still love your short and curlies.
This man has no penis.
Oh, he has hairy clavicles. You don't have to listen to him.
I didn’t expect Will Ferrell to be so self-sanctimonious.
Shut up, Candyfreak.
You and your stupid stunt books can go suck it. Also, you ripped off a good idea from Merrill Markoe and for that I consign you to the depths of Remainder Hell.
"Oops! My collarbone seems to have popped out of my shirt... you like that?... tee hee..."
Fortunately, he also discovered that perfect way to fight the "culture of grievance" is to whine about it on your blog.
But anyway, who told funny satirist types they could be so earnest and tender when people make fun of them? Open up, son, here come the jaws of life.
Um, Steve, even caring about objectivity won't help you acheive it.
Was that "wrote to Huffington Post" or "Huffily wrote to the Post"?
Wait, he writes about something other than his daughter and how hard it is to leave her for book tours?
@KarenUhOh:
Hairy clavicles. The very phrase gives me delicious chills!
What a nut.
@concerned citizen: "I'm so sheepish I've put my hand on my suddenly tense neck! It's cold, so I'm wearing my flannel!"
PS: I HEART BUSHONIAN MORAL TORPOR
@CodePink: Hairy Clavicles and the Deathly Hollows.
I had torpor for dinner last night. Made me sleepy.
Making fun of gawker is the new being made fun of on gawker.
I've seen giraffes with shorter necks.
I don't care about reading for sure. I've been trying to get through the Blythedale Romance for like 2 months, only on page 70.
LOLCait - would you give me a call?
And blogging about your toddler while eating Twix bars is gonna save the world, Mr. Almond. Don't let anyone tell you different.
Santimonious boob.
@Maujer: Elijah wants to know if she likes cheese or wants to come over to huff bacon.
Is he saying the Bush years are all Gawker's fault?
@TimGunn: I don't have your phone number.
@KarenUhOh: Tee hee. Love that.
@LolCait: You never call me!
That clavicle looks too perfect, I suspect implants or some airbrushing chicanery.
Moral torpor has made my life what it is today, Almond, and I don't appreciate it when my Herculean lack of effort is attributed to something as inconsequential to me as a politician.
and we "don't care about books" and "don't pretend to care about 'objectivity' or even accuracy for that matter," using as evidence quotes that referred solely to our reader-generated Stalker Map, not the actual site-you know, that thing the journalists call "taking quotes completely out of context."
Well, DUH!
He says that like its a bad thing.
Ewww his chest is way too hairy.
...
Now explain to me, please, how i'm contributing to the moral torpor of the Bush years?
Did he just call me a Republican? DID HE?
Oh my gosh. If you don't like criticism? STOP PRODUCING ART.
Criticism is an inescapable byproduct of working in the public eye; and when you court publicity by, say, alternately excoriating and tongue-bathing Oprah in a string of bizarre, fragmented, and increasingly self-conscious essays, you're sort of bound to accept the publicity you get as a result.
@MattGaymon: "Oh, this old thing? I just tossed it on haphazardly to give the illusion of coverage.
So... you, um, want to come up for coffee?"
Steve, I have no idea what the answer to your question is.
Steve Almond prefers the objective journalism of Gossip Girl. And the boobies.
@TimGunn: The Blithedale Romance (no 'y') is unreadable. Basically, the message of the book is that Utopian communities never actually work out. Now you can move on to The Marble Faun if you like!
Yes, it's true. All my Gawking has made me care less about the common crises of state. But it's made me care MORE about Steve Almond.
LOLCait - I can't put my number on the interwebs! I'm sure you could find it using the facebook if you look hard enough.
He's right though, I do hate books. Especially fancy ones.
Noted tool Eric "I'm name dropping as fast as I can" Alterman gleefully linked to Almond's hissy fit in his Media Matters column today. I think Eric's beef with Gawker is that you guys don't worship his genius on a daily basis. Or it's because he has absolutely no sense of humor.
Almond & Pollack v. Ketchup and Dane the Bear IN A STEEL CAGE. Only on payperview!!
@concerned citizen: "Or we could just do it here in the woods. Rouse ourselves from moral torpor, that is - what did you think I meant?"
People take this site seriously?
So this is what he's been up to since "Tainted Love" !
@TimGunn: I'm so confused.
There is no such thing as objectivity. The best we can hope for is to understand that before going gentle into that good night... or FoxNews, as it were.
Accusing someone of being a Republican is the new accusing someone of being a Communist.
Hey, Steve: Stop. Taking. Yourself. So. Seriously. You're a blogger with a book deal.
I like Almond's "What is this earth 'Gawker' of which you speak?" routine, as if he doesn't Google his own name 25 times a day.
Also, Almond's a hirsute mofo. He could get a gig in that piece of shit Geico cavemen sitcom.
I think perhaps he is the hairiest man I've ever seen. Gillette should hire him for a commercial in which, despondent over the debasement of Culture, he uses a Mach3 Turbo to give his wrists a close, comfortable shave.
Whatever, werewolf wrists.
Oooo! Alliteration! Who says Gawkers aren't literary?
@c_webb:
Oh, no,no,no... He said you were as amoral as a Republican.
Is this what living in suburban Boston does to people? He's nuts!
"OK people, could we please stop listening to 'other people', and get back to buying my book? It will seriously make things better."
You know what I love? That a person who blogs believes that some other blog enjoys influence or power!
Emily makes $55 grand a year! You know who else makes $55 grand a year? Entry-level garbage men in Cincinnati!
Surely Emily is lovely. And she turns a fine phrase. And her tattoos suggest sexual availability. Also she does yoga so she's flexy and full of herself. These things all equate with money and status in the media world. Why is she so underpaid?
Because effectively no one reads this site, that's why. More people look at woot.com in one hour than visit Gawker in a week. Are we decrying the pernicious influence of funny sales copy because of woot.com? Will Steven Almond moan about big bags of crap undermining our democracy?
Nope! Gawker.com is the Spy magazine of the early 21st century in almost every way but one. A precious few people read it. Those precious few people who read it work in the media, so they write about it--magnifying the appearance of its cultural impact. But outside of this small sphere no one cares about Gawker any more than they care about a Treker listserv.
You know what else is great? No matter how villified Almond is on this site, no one will buy his book.
Oh, for fuck's sake, he actually links to a clip of the Jimmy Kimmel interview and cites it as evidence AGAINST Emily. Who, apparently, is the next Sean Hannity.
BTW: "Well at least he didn't threaten to rape us" = best tag ever.
@Mediahohoho: Blogger with a book deal, I know
I know it's serious
Blogger with a book deal, I know
I know, it's really serious
There were times when I could
Have laughed at him
But you know that I can't
Really muster a laugh for his stuff
Gee, all Emily needs to do now is become a garbage hauler on Sesame Street and she can live with Anderson Cooper.