• John Travolta and Kelly Preston's son, Jett, may be autistic — but, as ardent Scientologist, they won't do a thing about it. And so poor Jett goes back to staring at 246 toothpicks. [R&M]
• An anonymous caller called the city's Child Services to make damaging and unsupported claims about View co-host Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Unfortunately, raising your child in a Republican household doesn't qualify as abuse. [Lowdown]
• Dropping your baby on his head is OK, too: Los Angeles' child services closes its investigation of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. [IMDb]
• Good Charlotte rocker Benji Madden turns the normally idyllic Misshapes party into a violent hell, pounding the life out of a hipster in the process. We're so fucking proud of him, seriously. [Page Six]

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