I LOVE drawing-round-your-hand-art! Was that you, Pareene? Delightful.

A leather mug made by Cambodian children who are compensated $0.0001 / hr for their trouble. Panda leather, to specify.

We should totally have a Hand-Turkey drawing contest. The winner gets to egg Patrick Waldo's house. Except instead of eggs they, you know, throw turkeys.

@concerned citizen: I prefer to drink blood from baby skulls...Can I just say - I feel like I'm in some stupid indie movie on IFC right now - my oven just broke.

I'm mad...and that's a fact
I found out...animals don't help
Animal think...they're pretty smart
Shit on the ground...see in the dark.

Where's the axe?

@Reluctant Financier: It's like that episode of WKRP..."oh the humanity!"

Vegans ruin everything.

Vegan friends of mine were set to prepare a tofurky one Thanksgiving. That morning, they took it out of its plastic casing, gagged, and made a nice salad instead.

mmmm... turkey, with giblets and gravy... and a spiral ham... yum

@NinaHagen: How about a New Orleans style turkey fry? Use a barbecue, fill it up with about 5 gallons of fat, get shit drunk and have a lot of fun. Don't set the kitchen on fire, though.

@Reluctant Financier: You're on! I'm sketching round my right hand as I dictate this to my secretary.

Is deep-frying the turkey still cool this year? I haven't seen the news warning me about my apt catching on fire from the 7 foot deep fryer yet. Mmmm...fried turkey. Fried potatoes. Fried gravy.

And remember, comrades, your resolution must never falter. No argument must lead you astray. Never listen when they tell you that Man and the
turkeys have a common interest, that the prosperity of the one is the prosperity of the others. It is all lies. Man serves the interests of no creature except himself.

The secret code is "turkey lurkey loo and turkey lurkey lie". Remember, comrades!

@Koala325: do you see the hypocrisy there? I MEAN... eating tofu on thanksgiving is one thing, but even considering eating tofu in the SHAPE of a turkey and then blasting people for eating meat? Vegans just perpetuate social constructs in their own whiny way, thinking they're doing some good. but really, no.

Hey — you stole my four-year-old daughter's drawing!

I expect her to receive a payment in the mail within the next 10 days, or you'll be hearing from my lawyer, KarenUhoh.

We throw buckets of lard on their fake fur jackets.

@SinisterRouge: Fried pumpkin pie. Fried ice cream. Fried cranberry sauce.

@NinaHagen: Put the turkey in the freezer and tomorrow make spaghetti carbonara. Calvin Trillin has a great (old)* piece about how it should be the national dish on Thanksgiving instead of turkey.
*I think it's in Alice, Let's Eat.

You could always turn their smugness against them. Has anybody else seen this?
[www.treehugger.com]

@hypocriteoath: Tofurkey comes in the shape of a turkey? Are you a moron or trying to make a joke?

With a name like that this must really burn your ass!

I briefly flirted with veganism, but then it sent me a private message asking if I worked out, what my body type was, and whether I had dated any guys in 31-story condos on Buckhead who drive Beemers. So I dumped it. Veganism is the World's Worst Affectation.

@Reluctant Financier: Hey, I like to make body-part-tracing art! I'd do my drawing of a rocket, but can't because I'm in the office right now.

@MisterHippity: Does said rocket drawing come with a smoke cloud beneath it? Because it's really not complete without one.

I don't want to get into a lot of detail here, but my personal experience with turkeys is that they're mean bastards.

@dola: i am pretty sure it doesn't really come in the shape of a turkey... but it should. mental image. and yes, I'm a Mormon.

@nutmeg: What % of the meat people eat do you think is from animals that are allowed to graze plants from the land? Answer: not enough to justify your love.

what happens to vegans should stay with vegans.

@SarahHeartburn: Don't you kind of have to do that on the roof? I live in a friggin' walk up!

@Reluctant Financier: How did you know?

@MisterHippity: Some guy in my office likes to make those drawings as......... well...... wait...... what office are you in again?

Save a turkey, eat a Gawker blogger

@NinaHagen: Pieces of April - that's the stupid movie I feel like I'm in.

@BalknChain: Yeah - you know they're fat - they only send you head shots and they have good grammar.

@dola: Mmmm, the shape is more akin to a loaf of bread or a rounded out football. I'm a vegetarian (I eat eggs, and oh my lord, do I eat ice cream) so for me, Thanksgiving is all about the delicious carb-tastic sides. And pie. Lots of pie. But let me say this as an avid cook: Tofurkey should be banned. No reason any vegan or non-meat eater should resort to such processed crap.

@dola: Did you read the article I lined to? It's more of a 'what if' kind of thing. i.e. if everybody in the world were vegan vs. if everybody in the world ate at balance of meat and veg.

PS: Bacon is life.

@NinaHagen: I share your pain. My oven broke this morning with a pie in it - very sad to watch the temperature drop steadily. Now I get to finish cooking in my friend's apartment, where the kitchen is GORGEOUS and unused because he thinks the cooking process is kind of icky and gets his kitchen dirty. ("Well, yes," I said. "You're going to wear an apron," he said, "and I'm going to follow you around with wet-wipes.")

@nutmeg: linked to. Sorry.

Screw the turkey, I'm having a vegan for Thanksgiving this year.

No expose on the horrors of a Tofurky vat?

@NinaHagen: My oven's heating element went last year. My husband and I had a huge spat; he wasn't going to call a repairman! After a WWII level argument he took his ass to a store for parts. On the day of his birthday party last year, we lost power with 2 lasagnas in the oven and our 10x30 gazebo got destroyed by winds that were only in the forecast as "gentle breezes." Hah! Yeah, I was holding one leg of an 8 legged tent as it went airborn, rolled over on its top onto our trucks and almost over the our 6 foot privacy fence-with me still holding on shrieking to high heaven and my husband to save me! Would have made great video.

A friend of mine worked at a farm like that for a month before realizing it was hard as hell work for no money. Those farms are ridiculous. If animals weren't meant to be eaten why would they be so tasty?

@DiabetesExplosion: Vegans, as primary consumers, provide the most tender and delicious human meat.

These vegan hissy fits just don't hold (cruelty-free) water. Visiting a turkey farm to do exactly what? Celebrate their imprisonment?

I hope he didn't inhale any turkey particles or step on any turkey by-products while he was there. That's essence-stealing, you know, and it's the same as eating meat!

You think he was helping out Pamela Anderson last week when she was volunteering and served vegeterian turkey?

So I suppose this means that he wasn't raised vegan but is one of them "political" vegan types.

I prefer the raised ones, wayyyy less judgemental.

@nutmeg: I did read it. If "everyone in the world" ate meat, even in those relatively small portions, which are far from the Western norm, let alone at Atkin's levels, we'd need a couple of planets. Does this fantasy where six billion people who can afford to eat a harmonious mix of free range meat and veggies also involve a revolution where factory farming is eliminated?

P.S. Slavery is life too, for the slaveholder. All the justifications are familiar.

@dola: Yes.

@mcginstein: honestly, I don't really believe in god, except when I am eating pork. An animal that delicious is proof enough for me that someone up there is looking out for us.

@dola: By taking advantage of crop rotation and better land management strategies, grazing animals actually decrease the amount of land needed to obtain the same calories.

Does anyone else find dressing a turkey unbelievably obscene? In a good way?

Vegans taste best in a nice cream sauce.

@katastic: well, free range vegans anyways.

@nutmeg: Was the part there he talked about overhauling the entire system after the jump? I missed it. He's positing this as a way of saying, 'see, everyone can eat a little meat and still be ahead of herbivores!' But in reality we're getting meat from a mass production process that does not allow for grazing or really any movement, while placing an giant burden on water resources while polluting the environment. Single issue "what if's" like this are only interesting if they're possible under existing circumstances. So again I ask, what % of meat production for humanity is or could be in anyway connected with sustainab