Halloween: An excuse for women to dress like prostitutes and not be properly ridiculed for it.

Wow. Nicely done, though it makes my brain ache.

I'm going as Intern Mary!

If I stand outside Gawker HQ with a boombox, will Intern Mary come out?

Fucking Christ, "Halloween Spray!" Twice as much pie as "French Maid!"

Also: "Inflatable Mannequin?" is a prop or a costume??

Intern Mary, just wow. Lots of treats for you tonight...or tricks if you prefer, but only on 42nd Street.

Sexy Rainbow Brite - bitch stole my idea.

I'm going as Mathnet going as Intern Mary

This is truly 90% more enjoyment than I've ever gotten out of Halloween.

"sexy" peacock?
am i the only one who finds ALL peacocks sexy?

Last minute suggestion for the men in the audience:

Just walk around shirtless and tell people you're Mathew McConaughhey

@mathnet:
haha! i liked 'Gloves' and 'Random Novel'!

But what if I'm NOT feeling sexy?

I saw a Big Pink Vagina costume online last week. No joke.

Slutty Don't-Tase-Me-Guy

Halloween Chuck Taylors doesn't seem like much of a costume...unless that's the only thing you're wearing

Will somebody tell me who Velma is?

But what if I want to be a Sexy Clown? Where's the pie for that?

@mathnet: Dude! Scooby-Doo!

@PimpMyCouch: Ohhhh. The "sexy" is implied.

Damn, no Sexy Barbarian Pirate Nurse.
Also, no Sexy Blogger.

I like that someone dressed as "plus sized opaque tights"

I'm going as Sexy Recluse right now. The Sexy Shearling Slippers and Sexy Turned-Off Porch Light are really all that is wonderful about Hallowe'en.

@SharonTaint: That would actually be a great costume for the Olsen twins.

@mathnet: Oh, you twenty-somethings. You should all be STABBED. Also that is what Denton's going as, since you asked. Velma. OR! "Velman"! (Wow that wasn't as funny as I thought it would be!)

@mathnet: Indeed. I dressed up as Velma one year, and I got just as much attention as the Sexy Cops, et al. Nerds can be slutty too!

If the 99.56% of women not dressing as "The Male Chauvinist Pig's Guide to Women" are dressing like the male chauvinist pig's guide to women, then I don't even want to know what they're going to be wearing... or maybe I do.

I'm going as Renaissance. The complete historical period in time, replete with minutiae such as changing geo-political trade treatises and things with more popular recognition like the significant cultural and artistic developments.

@Choire: I am 31 and one half, "Halloween Golf Balls." I just assumed the alsome costume suggestion was a reference meant for 20-somethings.

Where's Sexy Darth Vader?

Is the Pluto G-string the Disney character or the former planet? I hope it's the former planet. That would be a more creative costume. Although it is kind of insulting to one's package now that Pluto's been downgraded for its size.

On my way to a job interview today I had the pleasure of sitting next to a very slutty ladybug

I want to know about the statistical overlap, here. Do you think that some women are wearing Spandex Shorts (.44%), T-Shirt (.44%), and Halloween Chuck Taylors (.44%) simultaneously? More importantly, do you think that those wearing Ape Masks (.44%) are also sporting Pluto G-Strings (.44%), because I could only hope so.

I'm disappointed by the dearth of sexy plus-size witches, nuns, clowns, and ape masks. Why can't they be sexy, too? In fact, let's just put away the jack-o-lanterns, put on the red lights, and rename it Sexy-ween.

Or wait, that's a cover band, sorry.

@dirtydeer: I think that costume name is officially "Sexy Witch (Plus Size)" but Intern Mary didn't want to type out all of that.

Based on my highly informal research carried out on a DC pubcrawl last weekend, there were a LOT more Slutty Rainbow Brites.

Also, more people than you would expect were that damn pixellated banana that sings about "peanut butter jelly time" that's at least 5 years old, if not 7. I'm still befuddled by this. Then again, DC does tend to run 5 years behind on all trends. Right.

I'm going as "Dude that shits on your porch" and looking for "Big Titted alcoholic nymphomaniac".

Call me.

So, the lesson here is: On halloween, the women like to get sexy.

We men get scary, gory or ugly. And then drunk.

I think we get the better end of the deal.

@ellagood: Don't you find [redacted] sexy?

i'm perplexed by "Alice in Wonderland - toddler." i'd google how that could be sexy, but i don't want to go to prison.

@AndSheSaid: Could be Pluto as in the Roman god of the dead, too, though I would have thought he'd be more into togas than thongs. Probably mandals too.

@dirtydeer: Personally, I just love the juxtaposition of "Sexy Fairy", "Sexy Tin Woman", and "Ape Mask". You could totes combine some of them, if you wanted, and you could be a Sexy Ape Witch With Opaque Tights!

@MisterHippity: You males do get the easy costumes. Next year I'm going as a comfortably dressed female in reasonable shoes who enjoys Pinot Noir. I'll be scary...and drunk.

Mary needs a raise. And a drink.

I can't believe ther aren't more witches

Oh, fuck. It was yesterday? No wonder those people were staring at me.

@Fishman:

I wear that costume EVERY DAY!

Imagine my surprise when I discovered last night that people find Larry Craig very sexy.

My slutty Benazir Bhutto costume was a huge hit.

can we blame Jerry Bruckheimer for the "sexy pirate" epidemic?

I don't know who's responsible for Gawker's pie charts, but s/he's awesome.

@ext212: His name is "Chart Wizard." And I agree his work really Excels.

"Pigrim?" What's a Pigrim? Spell check!

So who is responsible for referring to every costume as "sexy _______" ? I trace it to Tina Fey and Mean Girls.

Sexy fairy...sounds like my best bud Brian. Also, a curious thing: Halloween golf balls.

@collegecallgirl: You had me at hello.