Gawker
By 9:43 a.m., gossip site TMZ had put up seven Lindsay Lohan DUI arrest posts—the first six were published while she was still in jail, and the seventh was her release from jail. Please note that it's 6:30 in the morning out there. We're predicting 18 TMZ Lohan posts today—definitely a minimum of 15. Our hearts go out to the gossip laborers of the west coast in this time of crisis. Oh wait! In the time it took for us to write this brief paragraph, they've published an eighth item, questioning the utility of her alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet. Next up from TMZ, we think: a post predicting how much jail time she'll be getting. OMG, no, wait! Now there's a ninth item, about how she's not going to do the "Tonight" show tonight, clearly. We raise our prediction to a full 21 posts today—one for each year that Lindsay Lohan will be alive! Oh, look, the LA Times and the NY Times finally got an AP story up!
Tip Your Editors:
tips@gawker.com
Managing Editor:
Nick Denton | Email
Day Editor:
Alex Pareene | Email
Night Editor:
Ryan Tate | Email
Reporters:
Sheila McClear | Email
Hamilton Nolan | Email
Richard Lawson | Email
Nick Douglas | Email
Comments
They've got the mugshot up already! Impressive!
this is tragic....macloserboy's in the hospital and not able to comment. I don't even know where to start.
This is Hurricane Katrina for white people.
Good for them, but when you "break news" two sentences at a time--AlkyAnklet may not have worked! LiLo on Leno! Maybe not!--you can probably milk two hundred posts from this thing today.
How long until "Hoover-Hovering Helicopters Collide!!"?
why don't these girls have drivers!?!?!
But you guys are at 3 stories so far, and if you take into account the entire Gawker media empire (Jezebel, Defamer...) it would be interesting to see who comes out on top at the end of the day.
Like the rest of her pay-per-blow friends, the alky-klet gave up on it's ethic after a little bit too much TMI>
I knew Lohan was doomed when I read that Samantha Ronson was her sobriety coach.
Here it comes - the perfect storm of celebutardiness, gossip mongerers, snarkers, and all their assorted mites, parasites and remoras.
Setting up ringside seat with deckchair and margaritas, praying for the meta tidal wave.
@Scout: and it was in a car so Jalopnik gets post ... a kewl car, so actually two or three
@Scout: I BET TMZ.
@fritosforlunch: It's like mediahoho said in an earlier Lohan post: it's cuz driver's have ears and eyes and financial needs.
Holy crap holy crap holy crap I've gotta get out there and do something
@fritosforlunch: Seriously! Bitch should never be allowed behind the wheel again. Maybe the ghastly story of the fiancé dragged to death on Long Island tipped me over the edge, but driving when you're fkkd up is one of the vilest, most selfish, and morally indefensible things you can do. LOLhan is lucky the only things she's killed are her life expectancy, reputation, future, and credibility.
Lindsay must get some bizarre Greek level of hubris when she drinks.
"No, ish fine. Look, I have powers. I can turn unvisable [puts hood up, crouches on ground, sings softly: 'unvisssablleee']. Oh, hey. Let's get Del Taco. No. Noo. I'm driving. C'mon. It'll be great. Lesh go. Oh. Wait. Has anyone seen my wooden leg?"
@KarenUhOh: The Alky Anklet doesn't work when one partakes of cocaine, or anything other than alcohol. I'm pretty sure she was the recent subject of a Not-Very-BI about some starlet with an Alky Anklet who was in Hawaii and asking about where to get some Ecstasy.
A couple years ago I would've said it's just too bad Ms. Blowhan's fans aren't old enough to empathize. But I don't think she has fans anymore. She just has blogs.
Lindsay is to TMZ what the Bancrofts are to Gawker.
@The One: Wasn't it Vegas? And that's EXACTLY who I suspected when I read it too! (And this week, who pops up in Vegas pics from last week? LOLhan!)
@crotchety: cause everything they do now is so hush-hush.
Was she wearing underwear for this one?
Hey - look at her two booking records on the LAPD website - in the first one she is 5'02 and 120 lbs. In last night's arrest she is 5'07 and 118. I guess your ego isn't the only thing that grows while on cocaine.
I'm assuming that, like an animal caught in a bear trap, Lindsey chewed-off her own leg to escape the alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet.
@butterflygirl: You could be right. It's still early in the morning for me. But at least I don't drive when I have been drinking.
6.30 am? so, she was most likely on her way to work, right?
@fritosforlunch: I see your point. But blind items and gossip are different than exposé books, actual photo evidence, or the driver "accidently" taking you to a neighborhood convenient to TMZ. And so on.
But how bad off do you have to be that you can't stay clean of language and habit for a trip across town?
In eight months we can launch "Survivor: TMZ" in which Lohan, Hilton and Spears are locked into a $49 parking lot-view room of the Westward Ho in Las Vegas with nothing but an ounce of cocaine, three cans of Red Bull, a quart of Cossack Vodka and a cellphone with one hour of battery power. Hosted by Danny Bonaduce, the series will reach its thrilling finale just after the first commercial break.
Not to make Lindsay's troubles all about me, but... bitch woke me up.
I live about a mile from the Santa Monica police station, and the biggest gang of helicopters I've ever heard started circling overhead at 5:30 a.m. I was at a seminar this weekend and got about two hours' sleep Saturday night, so needless to say this has made me grumpy. (I also live under the flight path from Santa Monica Airport to the ocean, so Travolta and Cruise wake me up regularly, too.)
Still, how about that fantastic booking photo? It's a lot more dynamic and interesting than any of Lindsay's last three movies.
@tammyfey:
come on - if this were an East Village hipster you would be lauding his re-invention of edgy.
@TedSez: Interesting TedSez. What kind of entry do Johnnie T and Cruise prefer?
@youreabigjessie: I am so there. Save me a chair and a margharita. Here comes the wave...
on the upside, she's starting to make Paula Abdul look better by comparison.
Wow - Lilo's already in reruns.
"Police said they received a call around 1:30 a.m. from passengers in a black Cadillac Escalade sport utility vehicle who said they were being chased by a white Denali SUV. Police met up with the SUVs in the parking lot of Santa Monica's Civic Center, about a block away from the police department.
When police approached the Denali, they recognized Lohan as the driver. The passengers in the other vehicle apparently know Lohan, but did not realize she was chasing them..."
Cadillac Escalade: $55,570
GMC Yukon Denali: $51,085
bag of blow: $30
Scaring your paranoid druggie friends: priceless
There once was a ginger named Lindsay
Who started her career at Disney
She did lots of blow and fucked everyone you know
Soon she'll be a street walker in Cinci
They should compile all of their pithy reportage into a book. Then, realizing the hefty tome in their minds is actually four pages of double-spaced Ariel, they will feel momentarily ashamed.
@AndIAmTellingYou: They fly perfectly straight.... though what they do above 10,000 feet is their own business.
@AndIAmTellingYou: where are you getting your blow? a time machine? or is my preference for rocks the reason I'm paying $100?
@ModestProposal:
Soon she'll be shacking up with Jan Michael Vincent.
I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. Lohan, Hilton, Gore, etc, all can afford one: a damn chauffeur.
@AndIAmTellingYou:
See you there... Would you mind picking up some tostitos and a bowl of schadenfreude on your way over? Thanks, pet.
@momo: Perhaps. Or maybe you need to stop supplying your sharehouse. I don't do favors.
Right now, Nicole Richie is shitting her pants because all the hard work she put into getting her "pregnant" self on all the covers is going to be over-shadowed by coke whore Lohan.
Do I smell "miscarriage" headlines sometime soon?
@KarenUhOh: I will personally pay for their Pizza Hut Pizza Buffet lunch and packs of Newports when they emerge from said "ho"-tel room 40 years older and sadder.
Lohan drunk gets 9 posts before 8:30 am Pacific, yet I've been hammered since 7:30 and it merits nary a mention. Celebrities: they're just like us. Right.
To all of you who are questioning why she doesn't just hire a driver, I have two words for you:
Koral Karsan.
@youreabigjessie: There's more than enough to go around. Can you just make sure the helicopters fly high enough so as not to mess up my hair, mmm-kay? Thanks.
do we know yet who was in the escalade?
@KarenUhOh: The grossest challenge will come when they have to eat Dina Lohan.
Paris is PISSED!
@fritosforlunch:
Her assistant's mother, according to the LA Times. The story makes little sense.
Monday nights in LA are nutty.
@fritosforlunch:
Oh, this story just keeps getting better. Her assistant had just quit and the assistant's mother came to collect her. That is who Lindsay was chasing.
awesome
@fritosforlunch: her assistant, who had just quit, and the assistant's mum, who was driving.
Times like this I really hate Ralph Nader. Why cars gotta be so safe? And why now? Sure, Camus gets decapitated but Paris finds God.
@karion: it's like christmas in july.