• Team Party Crash

    'New York' Mag's Oscar Party, Part Two

    Our day-after breakdown of last evening's New York mag Oscar party at the Spotted Pig was so brutally detailed, we had to take a break and come back. In this second and final installment, the gals learn who Bill Hemmer is, discuss the spelling of former Jane editor Jauretsi Saizarbitoria's name (she's pictured, sparklingly, at right), and contemplate using the Spotted Pig as an apartment.

    doree: oh, this is that Fox anchor neither of us had ever heard of.

    emily: huh. boring!

    doree: totally. i hate when people are like ASSUMING i know who they are. [Ed. Note: Umm, Bill Hemmer? Anyone? Seriously?]

    emily: like, even if he was licking cornichons off arden wohl's cleavage i would not care.
    i hate that too.

    doree: you and david edelstein made up
    that was sweet.

    emily: oh! that was adorable, right?

    emily: david edelstein is adorable!

    doree: mmhmm
    he is.

    emily: i liked what he said about IM!
    oh YEAH
    his 8-year-old daughter IMs
    AND she wants a cell phone.

    emily: we have so much in common with David Edelstein's daughter. we all want him to use IM!

    doree: it's true
    maybe we should open an account for him?
    NYMAGMOVIESGUY

    emily: hee hee!!!
    oh, fuck, I told alex i would stop saying that.

    doree: why?

    emily: I caught it from choire so it is kind of an affectation
    It's like if i suddenly started being all
    !@#$%$
    wait no

    doree: ha

    emily: sdfgafgadkfh

    doree: yes yes

    emily: uh.

    doree: jauretsi?

    emily: so is there anything else interesting?

    emily: jauretsi!!!
    god, i tried to google her

    doree: i was just going to say, let's google her

    emily: in the memory of my google it looks like this
    jaureutsi
    jerautsi

    doree: OH GOD

    emily: jehrutsi

    doree: i found her?
    she's under "mad construction"!

    doree: this is like atoosa.com

    emily: SHE AND ATOOSA MUST BE
    ha! jinx

    doree: HA

    emily: MYSPACE FRIENDS

    doree: maybe jauretsi is going for the 20something demographic
    and she's conceded teenagers to atoosa

    emily: Yeah that is jauretsi's tribe

    doree: yes.
    i wonder how old she is

    emily: I would guess mid30s?

    doree: oh yes
    you are right
    Jauretsi Saizabitoria
    oops
    i mean
    she is 35
    so, exactly!

    emily: wow, I'm so good!

    doree: you are.

    emily: is it possible for anyone to have a more difficult name to spell?

    doree: no

    emily: let's never write about her lest it become one of those terrible kuczynski zinczenko scenarios.

    doree: omg, totally
    what if she started dating zinczneko?
    or however you spell it.

    emily: saizarbitoria-zinczenko

    doree: their poor children.
    did you go to the bathroom upstairs?
    they had a shower.

    emily: whoa! no, i missed that

    emily: i bet there have been some crazy hijinx in there.

    doree: totally. and, ew.
    there was also a washer-dryer

    emily: i kind of want to move in there!

    doree: haha

    emily: seriously! i mean yes, it's a little loud and packed with manhattan-only celebs letting their hair down
    but you really can't beat the location

    doree: true
    and that kitchen was pretty sweet.

    emily: they also have a dishwasher! it's everything i have ever dreamed of
    except that it's a restaurant

    doree: hmm, right.
    well, you could probably work around that.

    emily: are we done here?

    doree: i think so

    Earlier: Team Party RSVP: New York Magazine Oscar Party @ The Spotted Pig

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