Pictured: Blogger Alyssa Shelasky parties it up with Dom DeLuise's ghost, a member of the 'It Clique.'

I love how she only has one leg in that picture. Either she's peeing on Fat Corey Feldman or the party had a pirate theme.

C'mon, people! How many people does this woman have to blow before she can marry money, already? Social climbing and aspiring upwards must be exhausting.

The models were mesmerizing? It's true, I've been fascinated by their eloquent discussions of Schroedinger's Cat before, myself.

although you berate alyssa shelasky for her (very poor) writing, you're making her more famous and date-able just by writing about her...

I love her writing.

"She was radiant and real, bolting out ballads about heartbreak and, well, more heartbreak."

"All in all, a true Hamptons memory. Thanks, girl."

Ah, yes. A REAL Vanessa Carlton to go along with her TRUE memory of the event. Thank goodness her Total Recall injection wore off before she killed Vanessa Carlton/Sharon Stone and then blew up Mars.

@Ricky Roma: She's always missing something. A leg, a chin, a soul ...

Vanessa Carlton? Wasn't she that young chick with the nice tits who maybe could play piano and hummed along with the Counting Crows to fucking murder a Joni Mitchell song.

(BTW. Posture, young lady. Posture. You can't say "HELLOOO, Feminism?" with a hump in your back and a stringy neck. Believe me. I tried it at my brother's bachelor party and all it got me was kicked in the sack. Kicked. In. The. Sack. Do you hear me Alyssa? Do you spend your hours on the elliptical hunched over the bars, leaking tears of self-doubt into Fitty's new vitamin water? No! You stand tall and proud while you leak tears of self-doubt into Fitty's new vitamin water!)

Its a slow week at "Roll Your Own Celebutard"

Emily -- waste of font and space. Stop it...although you gave me a good laugh with the photo. She could be the postergirl for Hampton Horrorfest.

@LolCait: Rumors of Dom DeLuise's death have been greatly inflated.

I am irritated by the fact that insecure freaks feel the need to imagine that "The Hamptons" are an elite club. They are the reason that it sucks.

The 'It' clique is comprised solely of an evil clown whispering, "Everyone floats in the Hamptons..."

How many yards of fabric does "bolting" out a ballad entail?

What was the music pumping? And will she also be writing about the ultimate 'zit' clique?

@Koala325: Clearasilly you're trying to be Proactiv.

@GeorgeBabbitt: It's true. Though, I haven't seen him in anything recently, so he may as well be dead.

@Colonel Mustard: would that it were so. "They float, they all float...".

"...After the third date

@josh speed:

Best address that question to the definitive expert, Julia Alison.

"...After the third date with Ms. Shelasky, Jerry O'connell promtly returned to his 'Stand By Me' size and made himself gay."

@vandusen: ...hey, O'Connell comes out smiling! he just married Rebecca Romijn last weekend...

@josh speed: people with real money won't marry bloggers. threat to the family. she will end up with a low-level finance guy, or more likely, have her quarterlife crisis and move back to from whence she came and marry some douche from college.

@LolCait: So I take it you skipped Bongee Bear and the Kingdom of Rhythm then?

@GeorgeBabbitt: I generally don't watch the movies I write.

She doesn't really blog, though. She just mentions the names of events, products, and PR agencies; it's essentially an infomercial, without any production values. Also strange that there are never any attractive people in any of her event photographers, but that's closer to reality -- in the hamptons cougars outnumber kittens by a huge margin.

@Teabiscuit: they do? (packs bag, exits)

I stole her friend's cashmere sweater last Thursday at the bar. She spent the whole time complaining about how jezebel.com was trying to smear campaign Glamour bloggers. She had an irritating voice.
In honesty, the sweater was left on the chair and I took it home.

if it weren't for the photos i'd swear she was locked in a basement somewhere.

@slinkimalinki: Funny, it's because of the photos that I assume she's locked in a basement somewhere.

Where is Lizzie Grubman in reverse when you need her?

...but she didn't even mention that Jack Black was there!