Good job! Everybody did a really good job commenting this week. Some better than others! Life is a pageant, and crazed uber-commenter Lolcait judges the contestants. They are being sent a fabulous prize—his flannel-lined gratitude!

The Christmas season is upon us! The tree they have at that Hellmouth near 51st street was set ablaze on Wednesday (greenly), the windows are all decorated, and my deep, abiding sadness has kicked into overdrive as I face the dim prospect of another holiday season spent by myself, miserable and drunk. One thing I like to do as November grays and wrinkles into December is make my annual Christmas wish list. I figure it's something to hold onto, a set of ideals that I can recall fondly as I open yet another shitty present and cry internally, realizing that the only one who truly knows me is Charles Shaw. So, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to share my wish list with you and hope it encourages you to make your own. After all, the only thing to fear is dying alone. But at least if they find your solitary corpse under a huge pile of lovely things, I think they'll say that at least you went a little bit happier.

LolCait's Christmas Wish List Super Jam 2007:

1) Ayelet Waldman's raw sensibility and sexual charisma.
2) $11.996 million, so I can make a competitive offer on the LOLsen's dream house.
3) A cure for my spatial dysphasia. Also, a cure for my unicorn leprechaun fairy dust flu.
4) Heidi Montag's Lisa Frank Bible.
5) The still-beating heart of Banksy...
6) Another year's worth of great comments, like the following five:

From GEORGE BABBITT in How Ayelet Waldman Stole Christmas:
"Exclusion is the new inclusion."
[Indeed!]

From MISTER HIPPITY in Important Assignments:
"This is very disrespectful to the whales.
They should use real whale names, like:
OOOEEEAAAOOAAAAUAOARAAAAOGHGGGUOAAAAAAAAAAAGHHUH!!!
or:
OAAOOURRRGGG!! OOOO OWAAAOWWWWEEUGH!!"

From RRRRTTT in What's Really Wrong With Sloane Crosley?:
"I still get the shakes when I think about my night with a Space Geisha."

From NATELY in Rodney King Shot in Face; A TMZ Nation Mourns:
"I like No. 6 who couldn't even get the quote right.
'Prepare to meet my little friend.' - Scarface"

From BRIANVAN in Bobby Van, 64, Dies In A Cab
"Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't be here... but if you're going to be here, play the same game. Ignore the party line. Write unflattering things about Gawker, the editors, even the owner, in light of the fact that they wouldn't hesistate to do the same to you. Be a blowhard. Attack people. Never be wrong about anything. You'll fit right in."
[Indeed again!]

And, your Party Pick for this week was your old favorite, COLLEGE CALL GIRL who waxed philosophical in They Hate Their Kids:
"now pony painting and face rides, now THOSE sound like great ingredients for a party."

Congrats to all! Now get the hell away from the computer. You only have 25 days to find and capture Banksy for me.

Happy NoeLOL.