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recaps
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Actually, No.
["Hills" villain Spencer Pratt filming some sort of video with his sister Spencerina in LA today; image via Splash] -
recaps
The Hills: The End Of The World As We Know It
Last night might have been the saddest episode of The Hills that I've ever seen. This is saying a lot because there have been many, many (most?) sad episodes of this dreamy, listless reality romp through sun-soaked corners of lonely Los Angeles. But last night... Well, I guess it was really one moment. One terrible, shattering moment of realization and yearning and desperation worthy of Chekhov. The rest of the episode was silly and dismal in its own right, too. Wander the empty, echoing halls with me after the jump. More » -
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"Hey You There. Yeah, You. That Camera Had Better Be On."
[Lauren Conrad, star of the Maysles brothers' documentary "The Hills," in Los Angeles today; image via Bauer-Griffin] -
recaps
The Hills: Audrina Takes A Loser
What is The Hills even about anymore? It's certainly not about Lauren, our straight-haired heroine who now exists in some grimace-filled corner of the swooshy Californian reality show. It's been fully ceded at this point to the Feivel-esque Audrina, who with her metaphorical big floppy hat sings a plaintive "Somewhere Out There," hoping to find the yin to her yang, the burl to her tree trunk. And it's also about the Hieronymus Bosch-like coterie of damned souls that surround Fleshbeard and his mortal bride Heidi. The show has gone from fantasy to Fangoria in a few short weeks. But because it still exists, we soldier on with the business of sifting through it. And so we shall after the jump. More » -
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reality tv
The Moment We've Not Been Waiting For: The Whitney Port Reality Show Preview
From the Department of ZOMG: There is a preview online for the new Whitney Port reality show The City! As I'm sure you're all well aware, Port is the strange, saturnine sidekick to Lauren Conrad on MTV's sideways-spilling, late afternoon sunsplash Los Angeles reality show The Hills. Now Whittles is moving to the Big Apple (that's New York City!) to pursue her dreams of being paid to talk about fashions. Judging from the elegantly produced preview, the show will feature: work intrigue, personal intrigue, lots of great Whitney facial expressions (the Cow Eye, the Bulge Buster, the Battle Toad), socialite of sorts Olivia Palermo, the fearsome and scrumtrulescent Kelly Cutrone, and the most awkward lingering kiss/hug of all time. Are you so excited??? Yeah, me neither. Watch the clip above. -
recaps
The Hills: The Unbearable Flightiness Of Being Audrina
The Hills just keeps getting sadder. Because she doesn't really do anything interesting, the MTV reality blah's star, Lauren Conrad, is getting pushed further and further into the background while the wretched and miserable supporting characters—Audrina, Spencer, Spencerina—dance hideously in the fore. This week's installment involved an awkward trip to the booze-smeared party mecca of Cabo San Lucas and an even-awkwarder Dinner With Friends. Sludge on through this with me, if you dare, after the jump. More » -
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"No, Um, I Think You Misunderstood? This Isn't A Release Form. I, Uh, Just Wanted Your Autograph."
[Lauren Conrad, of "The Hills," leaving a Los Angeles restaurant last night; image via INF] -
television
Television's Mid-Fall Report Card
It is already October 15th! How did that happen? I guess you could say that the Earth rotated around the sun a specific number of times and that days winnowed into nights which bled into days and so on and so on in the circle game. I think that's it. So, how have we been spending these ever-marching autumn hours? Watching TV, of course! Lots and lots of TV. Some has been good (Mad Men, The Daily Show), some has been bad (90210), and some has just been puzzling (Two and a Half Men?). So as we approach the ever-important November Sweeps Week—when networks set their ad rates based on inflated, extraordinary episodes that don't actually reflect typical week-in, week-out quality—let's take a second to give a quarter term report card. How has television been faring, you know, quality-wise (because we already know that ratings are in the toilet)? We'll analyze after the jump. More »
