Gawker
At last night's book party for "Duck Duck Wally" at G Spa, groups of short white Jewish dudes sat on banquettes bathed in a red light. Whirlpools of nonpotable water glowed eerily from the Jacuzzis. At one point, I ill-advisedly put my hand in one and soon developed a rash. Simon and Schuster, who published the novel, handed out fake gold chains. That the book tells the story of a short white Jewish dude who ghostwrites rhymes on the DL for a rap artist named Oral B only somewhat excused the charged racial implications. Like the novel's protagonist, its author Gabe Rotter is a short Jewish guy himself. Yesterday we got a "tip"—probably just deep cover publicist shill—that though the book was sold as a novel, "The rapper in the book is based on a few of the MAJOR rap stars, who really do have some fat white Jewish dude writing most if not ALL of their rhymes."
Do we care? Fat white Jews have been responsible for some of the best rhymes of the 20th century: Gershwin, Lieber, Stoller, Matisyahu.
Still, we asked Gabe. He became cagey. "I never worked in the music industry," he said, using more air quotes than one would in little bunny Foo Foo. Later when we asked his editor Kerri Kolen, she similarly clammed up. "I can't say anything about that."
We went to the book to cross-reference some rhymes, appropriately reformatted:
Strangely, these lines showed up nowhere in the hip hop databases. Hard to believe.
I'm stoned and I'm spinin' and the chronic got me feelin'
Like I"m Lionel fuckin' Richie and I'm dancin' on the ceilin'I'm a fat little cracker from the suburbs of New York,
and even though I'm fuckin' Jewish I still eat a lotta porkI got a large circulation for my freestyle rhymes,
Plus I'm white and well-read like the New York Times
Comments
James Toback has the film rights?
Thanks for the Foo Foo link. I never would have known what you were talking about. What's the story behind "I'm Bringing Home A Baby Bumble Bee?" by the way?
My Oral B is firm.
can we please give Josh a Pulitzer right now????
Ben Stiller Ice.
Is Curly Oxide still performing?
I thought Simon and Schuster was the Death Star? Oh wait, I guess this is the proof.
I've always been a fan of Ghostface Kibbutz.
Um, Mordy Mandell? [www.youtube.com]
I randomly walked into a bar on a Sunday afternoon and encountered Spoken Word Hour, featuring the talents of this lawyer-cum-rapper. I stayed for the whole thing.
Fuck Matisyahu. That dude's a gimmick.
Everybody knows that the greatest Jewish Rappers were 3rd Bass, hands down.
Oh, and maybe that dude Sam Sever from Downtown Science. I think that he was a 'brew too (but even if he wasn't he's a dope rapper for being so lightskinneded).
wait, scott storch is jewish?
Insane Heeb Posse
A rapper named, "Oral B?" Puh-leeze. Maybe at Century Village in Delray Beach.
Anyway, check out this book's amazon page for the real laughs. Three RAVE REVIEWS are already posted for this nonsense, all piped in by pals-of-the-author, no doubt. None of the three reviewers have reviewed anything else, of course. I predict it sells fewer than 1,000 copies.
Somebody got a book deal out of a rejected spec script for 30 Rock.
@stew:
Better not give Josh a Pulitzer; he might wear it on his sleeve like R.O. Butler.
Oral B sounds like the kind of rap moniker Tom Wolfe might come up with. Good god, how could I have not seen it before? I bet Wolfe has been garnishing his salary by penning rhymes for Jay-Z and 50 Cent for years.
Matisyahu blows his shofar while sharing the stories of the wandering Jews. A brilliant lyricist, a prophet AND instrumentally inclined? Now there's the Messiah if I ever could think of one. And this Messiah has his own MySpace profile.
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