God is extra dead.

Hmmm...meh.

good lord, this is the only thing in the world that might make me hate new york.

Seems pretty cruel to put an ostrich in a bra and panties. Call the ASPCA.

THANK GOD this was the one approved for all audiences! I don't want to see the one where Mr. Big hooks up with a tranny off craigslist, and Carrie ends up having anal with someone she meets at a SAG meeting who turns out to be JFP!

I can't believe they didn't splice in a scene from where Peter Braunstein breaks into Miranda's apartment dressed as a giant sandwich and says, "Eat me!"

QUICK, LADIES, make your reservations at Tao right now, before it's too booked up for the Spring!!!

No, that's pretty much all that will be in there.

Can someone confirms Samantha is bidding on a 11 year-old Cambodian slave boy at auction? If so, I may rent this.

This is going to be a huge disaster. I can't remember the last time a movie was slapped together so quickly. The script, shooting, and now trailer within a period of what, like, three months?

What we don't know is that they are going the Little Shop of Horrors route, and that ginormous flower that has apparently taken root in her clavicle is going to eat her. But not until they engage in witty banter and have a pun-off.

@contradicto: a ginormous flower named Stanford?

This is the tagline they should have used:

"This Spring, Carrie finally shows us her tits."

They they should've just paid Sarah Jessica Parker however much it took to get her to whip out the ol' nips already.

Otherwise, this pic is doomed.

wait. wasn't this on for like six years already?

I think creativity is like the foreskin of the film industry. You'd think it'd be there, but then you find out that it was clipped off only eight days after entering the family.

@actorpull: I thought they finished shooting a few days ago. WTF?

Would it be wrong for me to say that I hope whatever building houses all the master recordings of this film is hit by an asteroid or godzilla or something --anything-- to keep it from ever seeing the light of day, and thereby inspiring yet another generation of girls to want to move to NYC and act like complete tools in their personal quest to live the Carrie Bradshaw fantasy?

Peter Griffin summed up SATC best when he described it as that [lame-ass] "show about those 3 hookers and their mother". Maybe I'm estrogenically challenged, but I just don't get it.

I can go and stare at pretty clothes for 90 minutes at berdgorf's for free.

How old is Miranda's kid in the movie (trailer blocked at work, errr)?
Is he a teen? Maybe there will be some gripping scenes of the girls dealing with his insane cocaine and Cosmopolitan/GHB club problem?

You should've seen the original tagline:

"This spring get carried away in a hansom through central park, towed by Sara Jessica Parker. Careful with that carrot, she's been known to bite!"

@actorpull: I don't know. I think it'll open really big, and then taper off dramatically in the following weeks. There's a lot of people who are really excited for this movie. But I'm not one of them. Nope. Not me. Not even a little bit. At all. Okay maybe a teeny-weeny bit.

@Queen of the Passive Aggressives: Yes, but you can stare at hideous ones with plastic flowers for $10.50.

Sex and the City helped me to understand just why the Taliban came into being.

This straight boy is really fucking excited!

I was bored before the green "preview" screen.

@BaconCat:
haha [www.bittensjp.com]

No audio on the work computer (and no way to explain this to IT without them knowing I just want to watch You Tube) so my assessment without watching is:

Carrie will do that walk that makes her and her alter ego SJP believe they were once made for the catwalk--(Yahooza! That's new.) With a little less makeup, her metamorphosis into Twisted Sister's Dee Snider will be complete

Samantha will say "darling" and try to convince someone that her geriatric meat-flap is still meant for pounding.

Charlotte will stick her punum out and cry about a Chinese baby and her hairy-hole hubby will act like some chick didn't squirt on him in his Californication life.

Miranda will emasculate Steve; look all kooky like at her offspring, while she wonders if she gave up too much to move to Brooklyn. (As if Park Slope is the south side of Chicago) But then maybe her iphone will get stolen and her neighbor will say "Some lady was screaming, but I didn't want to say nothin' because then my rents will go up, uh-huh."

Cantone and the other one are just hoping for 10 lines of dialogue and Mr. Big turns out to be that guy who hasn't worked in four years, unless you count Law & Order--now on USA. Punt!

Screw you guys. I have hopes that this will be like the Itchy & Scratchy movie episode in the Simpsons. For those non-nerds, that fake tv-show-turned-movie raked in dough, awards and had a record breaking run. Yes, indeed, my hopes are up.

Oh good. More validation for narcissistic girls who think hailing a cab in manolos while holding a venti skim latte in the other hand and cradling their cell in their ear (talking about cute shoes and/or how swallowing is gross) equals Big City Success.

Also, to SJP: The rat eyes, Jimmy Durante nose and concentration camp physique are not doing it for me. Please just stay in with your (cough) straight husband and stop, uh, doing things outside.

Wait: Isn't that "preview" just a bunch of clips and voice overs cobbled together from the old shows?

Menopause in the City.
Crones on Parade.
Sophia, Blanche, Rose and Dorothy take Manhattan.

And what's up with the ..in THEATRES only? Is this an UK preview? Does this mean more tourists will descend upon the stoop on little West 12th for more photos. CARRY OFF!

Seriously: Kim Catrall is older now than Estelle Getty was when Golden Girls started...

@ginger rant: Except for the wedding dress part, that's what I thought.

As my husband so eloquently put it - "Who the hell would PAY MONEY to see this movie?"

***nauseous***

I still hold to my theory that the only interesting approach would have been to make a SATC prequel: Lohan, Richie, Hathaway, Bell. Maybe the kid from Gossip Girl as Big. KUO can you copyright this?

Hey how about a "Sex in Ssssshity" were Carrie, or what ever her name is, goes to the Magnolia Bakery, gal pals in tow, in the summer and finds that she has to "like wait" for "like hours" in a line to buy one "Red Velvet" crap cake, then can't find a place to sit down and "talk about boys". Later Carrie returns to her apartment to find roaches and mice have invaded her apartment, like a real New Yorker, and then has to work two jobs just to pay her rent, which leaves her virtually no time to shop for nice clothes, meet with her gal pals and talk about boys. Also in this new movie Carrie has to ride on the A train, for some reason that escapes me right now, and she's roughed up a group of inner city kids looking for a fight! Oh wouldn't that be great!

She still has that goddamned tutu?

I'm kinda excited. I really liked that show.

@sick of winter: Is that really true? Because if it is, I'm going to work that into every conversation I have for at least two months.

@meh: Well it's about time someone said it. I totally agree.

Wait: you're not being sarcastic, are you? Goddammit, I can never tell with you people.

@CherriSpryte: Don't forget season 4, episode 17 (I kid: you think I'd remember the season and episode?! Hahahahaha ... that would be so lame well okay maybe a few), when Carrie tries on a wedding dress ...

Why on earth would anyone ever want to be like Carrie Bradshaw?