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Tinsley Mortimer

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gossip roundup

Madonna's Brother's "Giant Orgasm"

  • Madonna heard about her brother Christopher Ciccone's tell-all book, so she emailed him "Call me." He was all, "Hello? I don’t respond to commands anymore." Besides, writing the book "was like a giant fucking orgasm." [Observer]
  • The (supposed) backstory on the Christian Bale assault investigation: He was depressed about the death of Heath Ledger, and exhausted from the movie, and his Mom said "some very outrageous things about him, and his wife," according to a Mail source. Bale yelled at her but didn't touch her or the wife, supposedly. Bale also reportedly lashed out recently on the set of Terminator 4.
  • Lorne Michaels, the Saturday Night Live producer, won an initial court decision against a man who keeps trying to contact him because the Long Island man claims Michaels is eavesdropping on his private conversations, "singing and/or other utterances." [Post]
  • Socialites Tinsley and Topper Mortimer might get to join the very exclusive Southmampton Bathing Competition. It was in Bonfire of the Vanities and everything! Think good thoughts, so that the Tinz and her sis might some day be cordoned off from rabble like yourself. [Observer]
  • Banking heir Matthew Melon promised, in writing, to pay his girlfriend and business partner $1 million if he ever did cocaine again. Now, of course, they've broken up and she's trying to enforce the contract. He was definitely high at some point! [P6]
  • Actor Balthazar Getty acknowledged that he has separated rom his wife, in case the pictures of him groping Sienna Miller topless weren't confirmation enough. [P6]
  • Lauren Conrad was two hours late to a paid appearance, even though there was a helicopter to ferry her to the party. [P6]
  • Here's a picture of Matthew McConaughey's brand new baby. [OK!]

10:37 AM on Wed Jul 23 2008
By Ryan Tate
1,383 views, 37 comments

Latest by I Don't Get It: Baby schmaby. How Matty get all his hair back? more »

socialites

The Sound of Tinsley Mortimer's Voice

Socialite/"handbag designer" Tinsley Mortimer's voice—and face!—is wonderfully blank, which I think is what makes her so American. She's an empty room waiting to be decorated, a blank canvas, a work-in-progress constantly looking for ways to better herself. We can all find a way to project our needs and desires onto Tinsley. For example, haven't you ever wondered what your life would be like had you been born a blonde with superlong wavy hair? She's never sarcastic and always earnest to the point where you think maybe she's making fun of herself—not that she would ever stoop to that level of discourse. She's also been getting some TV time lately—click for her latest CNBC spotlight, via Park Avenue Peerage. What she does is not the point; the point is that Tinsley simply exists. (Or, as the Japanese call her, "Tins-ree!" She is huge in Japan.) More »

4:02 PM on Tue Jul 15 2008
By Sheila
3,200 views, 48 comments

Latest by Logged Hours: Tinsley Mortimer : New York :: Heidi Montag : Los Angeles more »

Hey Boop Doop Machine, It's Tinz Hey listen, it's socialite Tinsley Mortimer's outgoing answering machine message! (People still have answering machines? People still have landlines?) It's pretty straightforward and, luckily, it cuts off before you can hear the "thud thud thud rattle thud" of Mortimer falling down the stairs directly after.

21 comments

gossip roundup

Anne Hathaway Almost Bought A House With Follieri

  • Sad Anne Hathaway had been shopping for homes with her scummy Italian boyfriend Rafaello Follieri right before the movie starlet finally realized she had to dump the loser. She told InStyle, for next month's issue: "If we get a house as opposed to an apartment, the first two floors will be a bit more traditional for him to be able to receive people, and the top two floors will be whatever I want." [P6]
  • Socialite Tinsley Mortimer's Gossip Girl cameo was in an all-white party scene. Apparently "it was like a virginal reference not a reference to Puffy." [Observer]
  • Like Sean Avery, tennis star Anna Kournikova would like to work for Anna Wintour at Vogue. Unlike Avery, she made the mistake of putting the editrix at number FIVE on her list of the 10 people she'd most like to work for, post-tennis. [P6]
  • The corporate infighting over Madonna's $120 million Live Nation has already begun. Looks like there may be layoffs. [Post]
  • Rapper DMX may lose a townhouse because he didn't promote a line of "urban doggie wear" as promised. The dog-gear company hooked up with DMX after hearing his gravelly voice in public service announcements he made about pets. It turns out DMX was ordered to make those ads after being found guilty of cruelty to his own 14 pit bulls. [Post]
  • Heather Locklear checked into rehab for athlete's foot or something. Seriously, though: For "psychological treatment." Everyone is pulling this "rehab-but-not-for-drugs" stunt now. What does rehab even MEAN any more? [OK!]
  • Stable for several months now, Britney Spears finally gets to have her kids over for sleepovers again. [TMZ]

10:55 AM on Wed Jun 25 2008
By Ryan Tate
1,849 views, 19 comments

Latest by swizzard: I thought EVERY party scene in GG is "all white"? more »

casting

Tinsley Mortimer To Guest on Gossip Girl

Good gravy. Tinsley Mortimer is making a cameo on Gossip Girl next season, which she filmed over the weekend in the Hamptons. The handbag-designing, gobbledygook-talking Upper East Side socialite is a natural fit for the Upper East Side teen soap, we think. One wonders if she'll be playing herself or a character, perhaps named Brinsley Lorimer or something (who maybe eats banana peels and falls down the stairs a lot.) It's somewhat exciting news for Mortimer fans who were undoubtedly saddened by the untimely passing of her scuttled reality show. ("It was incredibly boring. The project is dead." Ouch!) Tinz joins fellow socialite Lydia Hearst, who guested on the first season finale back in May. Above is a picture of Ms. Mortimer on the set (via INF), and after the jump is an exclusive clip from one of her GG scenes. More »

1:27 PM on Mon Jun 23 2008
By Richard
4,364 views, 23 comments

Latest by n/a: Can someone just eat her face? more »

reality tv

Tinsley Mortimer's Reality Show Is Dead

That was fast: In March a casting call went out for socialite Tinsley Mortimer's reality show, and apparently MTV has already shot — and rejected as too boring — Mortimer's show. According to Page Six, the cable network's producers, who by this point are surely experts in whipping up drama from the barest of reality TV ingredients, couldn't make anything of the footage: "She looked good but she just got dressed and went to parties every day and didn't have anything interesting to say," a tipster told the Post. Uh, right, because reality television is all about stimulating conversation, and Mortimer was hired for her intellect. Translation: She didn't get into any brawls, do enough drugs, say anything racist or have a sufficiently interesting sex life. The show getting cancelled is a no-lose situation for Mortimer. She either takes it happily in stride or has gigantic breakdown that brings back the reality TV crews and launches her into broader starletdom. [Post]

5:06 AM on Fri Jun 20 2008
By Ryan Tate
1,415 views, 39 comments

Latest by MisterLincoln: Nixed show, eh? That explains the long face. more »

gossip girl

Loathsome TV Characters Fashioned After Loathsome Real Life Characters

Ever wonder what the inspiration is behind the fashions on Gossip Girl (other than "money" and "bright enough colors to attract fourteen year olds and macaws")?? Well Vanity Fair recently interviewed the show's costumers, Eric Daman and assistant costume designer Meredith Markworth-Pollack, and they divulged their interests and inspirations. Kate Moss, she of the cocaine-aura, is the inspiration for messy-chic Serena, while Anna Wintour and Audrey Hepburn inform Blair's buttoned-up old New York styling. Put them together and who do Daman and Markworth-Pollack envision? New York's favorite stream of consciousness-talking socialite, Tinsley Mortimer! [VF] A choice quote from the interview after the jump. More »

5:48 PM on Thu Apr 24 2008
By Richard
4,511 views, 20 comments

Latest by iAlreadyHateYou: Aw come on! Audrey Hepburn is anything but loathsome. more »

party pictures

Men's Vogue Writer Makes Implausible Gangster

It was hard to imagine anything less menacing than Hud Morgan in a bar fight, but a helpful tipster has supplied one: the Men's Vogue writer, dressed we presume as a gangster, at up-and-coming socialite Serena Merriman's fancy dress party, last weekend in Little Compton, Rhode Island. 28-year-old Morgan, a former gossip columnist with the New York Daily News, fancies himself the caddish man about town. For a microsecond, his liaison with a 17-year-old starlet even gave him a touch of credibility. But the fruitini-loving reporter has always been betrayed by his taste in clothes—technicolor sweaters and scarves worn with as much respect for his surroundings as an Olsen in sunglasses, which tend to undermine his masculine charisma. And, here, he's betrayed again. More »

3:51 PM on Fri Apr 18 2008
By Nick Denton
3,212 views, 44 comments

Latest by SSteele: The purple queen is pretty cool though, with the weirdo glasses. more »

lydia hearst

Democrats Losing the Self-Important Socialite Vote

Page Six Magazine continues to publish the ramblings of Lydia Hearst and we love them for it! This week's installment of The Hearst Chronicles finds the publishing heiress weighing in on the presidential race. The great-granddaughter of William Randolph Hearst (who has dropped dad's last name, Shaw, faster than she dropped those 15 pounds to become a model) is tired of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama's "obnoxious" Hollywood endorsements and "petty" throwdowns. The heiress writes: "this young lady is pretty bored with the whole thing. Not only are the Democrats losing their grip on my vote, their divisive antics just might be driving my crowd away entirely." You hear that Hill and Barack? She's bored. Quick, put on something shiny! Meanwhile, we have a hard time believing that socialites would fault others for petty in-fighting. After all, they did practically invent the concept. Just ask Olivia Palermo who, after being literally elbowed from the society scene by Tinsley Mortimer & Co., has slinked back to The New School from whence she came. To see the scan, click the thumb and watch it grow!

11:18 AM on Mon Apr 7 2008
By noelle_hancock
2,227 views, 37 comments

Latest by TheHonJudgeSmails: @BrianVan: Sweet, brah. more »

heroes of mine

Tinsley Mortimer Talks Like I Think

It wasn't made up! Tinsley Mortimer does talk in weird, nonsensical sentences about strange things, like I imagine her to. New York magazine caught up with the socialite at the Takashi Murakami celebration at the Brooklyn Museum last night, and managed to get some choice quotes out of her, mostly about funny little Japanese things. Find some quotes after the jump. (Also, a personal vindication/hideous embarrassment: this was sent directly to me, and not to "tips." People are catching on.) More »

5:43 PM on Fri Apr 4 2008
By Richard
9,816 views, 40 comments

Latest by ouiserboudreaux: She borrowed Hello Kitty's plastic fake brain and soul. more »

Socialitis An epic battle rages on the internet today: Is socialite and aspiring actress Serena Merriman the next "It" socialite? Park Ave Peerage commenters are hotly debating the issue in a post featuring party photos from a Frick museum gala over the weekend. Some of the Peerers seem to think she looks great, but that it's just a nice picture. Others think she's going to be a star. But don't worry! Perpetual favorite Tinsley Mortimer is still the top dog. It's just fellow teeterers Byrdie (Bell) and Chessy (Wilson) who have to worry. (Nota bene: I have no idea what any of that just meant.)

8 comments

socialites

"Pink's My Favorite Color" -Tinsley Mortimer

NYLON magazine's gushy profiles have always been hard to stomach (all that unprocessed sugar!), but their contest to win Tinsely Mortimer's Dior lip gloss makes the uptown socialite appear hip to even the downtown crowd: "It Girl Tinsley Mortimer traipses around Manhattan in hot pink, rose, and fuchsia frocks, so it was only a matter of time before Dior—a brand that she is a Beauty Ambassador for—would fashion a shade from her signature color." She's always been happy to lend her name out to practically any brand or event, but speaking of being an Ambassador: she's huge in Japan? [NYLON]

2:48 PM on Thu Mar 27 2008
By Sheila
1,395 views, 21 comments

Latest by Sebaceous: Tori Spelling's illegitimate sister revealed! more »

open caption

Betty Crocker Dessert Recipe Terrorizes Manhattan

[Socialite and philosopher Tinsley Mortimer outside a Versace event in midtown Manhattan yesterday; image via Splash] More »

9:26 AM on Wed Mar 19 2008
By Richard
4,514 views, 61 comments

reality tv

Tinsley Mortimer To Have Reality Show??

Oh. My. God. Tinsley Mortimer, famed New York socialite and personal hero of mine (sort of), may be cobbling together some sort of reality show. Guest Of A Guest got a tip that this casting notice is referring to the blonde dynamo. The casting calls for "the nations [sic] most ambitious, driven, stylish and socially conscious young debutantes of pedigree from all over the country [looking] to propel your careers, social standing, and your causes onto the world stage with New York's reigning socialite princess." Could this be Tinz?? Is she still reigning? Is there some other be-Chooed teeterer that has knocked her off the throne? We will, of course, keep you pathetically, desperately updated. Woot! [GOaG] After the jump a very important (i.e. fake) quote from Ms. Mortimer. More »

4:48 PM on Mon Mar 3 2008
By Richard
4,086 views, 30 comments

Latest by n/a: Was there no female Gotti available for this travesty of a tv show? more »

open caption

"I'm In a Foreign Country. I Think It's Called Paris and It's a Little Cold! Do You Like This Yellow Thing? It Holds Up Pants. When I Am Wearing Pants. OMG, Is He Still Looking? I Think He's A Spy. Or A Paris Person. Woots."

[Socialite and arguably my favorite person Tinsley Mortimer at a Paris Fashion Week event yesterday; image via Splash]

9:39 AM on Thu Feb 28 2008
By Richard
4,011 views, 49 comments

socialites

Tinsley Mortimer Was "File Sharing," If You Know What We Mean

Here's a question from a PR agency that we just can't figure out: "Was New York socialite Tinsley Mortimer doing a little "file sharing" over the weekend?" WHAT? This is the lead to an email blast promoting some file sharing website in a very roundabout way. But we have to admit we're stumped by that opener. Why the scare quotes around "file sharing?" What are they really trying to say about Tinsley Mortimer? This is supposed to be making her look good, you crazy PR people! The more we think about it, the more dirty theories we come up with, which we will tastefully not print here. Some of you are pretty media savvy, though; what the hell does this mean? Full retarded yet cryptic email after the jump. More »

12:32 PM on Mon Feb 25 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
3,610 views, 29 comments

Latest by famousauthor: "File sharing" is not the same thing as "nail clipping," is it? more »

open caption

The Inside of Tinsley Mortimer's Head

[Japanese actor Taichi Saotome arrives for the Japan premiere of "The Golden Compass" in Tokyo; image via AP]

4:40 PM on Fri Feb 22 2008
By Richard
2,518 views, 68 comments

open caption

"Oh Hi Do You Like My Curtains? I Decided To Wear Them. This Woman Is Tall! A Giant! I Like To Yell That Word Giiiaaannnt!! I Think I'm In Someone's Attic. I Want To See A Ghost And Be Friends With It And Marry It."

[Socialites Byrdie Bell and Tinsley Mortimer at a New York City boutique last night; Image: Patrick McMullan, via Park Ave Peerage Click thumb for larger.]

2:12 PM on Wed Feb 13 2008
By Richard
6,825 views, 39 comments

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