Gawker
After months of tsurris and anxiety, last night's finale of Top Chef was sweet vindication and much needed reassurance that all is right in the world. Hung, a villain to some but a hero to us, won the title of Season Three Top Chef. (Also, weirdly, he shared what seemed like a passionate kiss with Food and Wine's Gail Simmons.) The episode was noteworthy for more than that! The show was also an argument against the democratic process. Wait! For the democratic process.
If you had had your say, Casey would have been Top Chef. Happily, she choked. Actually, that was sad but at least she failed with aplomb. Dale, sweet Dale, tribal sun-tattooed and lonely, finally found his "inner chef" but in the end, he's a bottom not a top.
Despite Frank Bruni's claim that celebrity chefs never to the kitchen venture, last night we saw Big Head Todd English, mannequin Rocco Di Spirito and full-lipped Michelle Bernstein, celebrity chefs all, labor in the kitchen. Rocco got Hung, Casey got Michelle and Dale got Todd. Annoyingly, Dale kept on braying about how "Todd English has too many restaurants to count." That's only true if you can't count past ten which apparently Dale can't. Rocco happily submitted to the mad genius that was Hung, his chiseled face betraying nothing but obedience. Casey, for her part, what's there to say? She just blew it. She kind of half heartedly tried to deflect blame onto Howie (who was her sous chef for the fourth course) and the altitude. But mostly, she just fell on her own sword.
I would have liked to see Casey put together a meal that actually could compete with Hung's. I was looking forward to a referendum on the great culino-ideological question between soul v. technical expertise. It's a question that has been played out for ages: between the Mediterranean and Nordic temperament, the vibrant and imperfect inventions of Gothic cathedrals and the austere and clean geometric shapes of Roman temples; between Fuse and C-Span 3; Barack and Hillary. A distrust against an analytical and intellectual approach to the world has been at the heart of the anti-intellectualism and obscurantism that muddles so much of today's public and political discourse. Instead the question was between a man with no taste (peep that I Heart Hot Moms shirt!) and a man with a palate tres raffiné.
Hung's victory may just have been one small step in the career of a chef destined for greatness but it represents a quantum leap in how America approaches analytic thought and technical expertise. It bodes well for Hillary, it bodes well for America.
Comments
Insert 'well hung' jokes below.
thank god. i hate it when the 'nice' person wins. 'nice' don't make sauce, bitches.:)
Um, sure, but more important, what was up with that totally unnecessary, poorly lighted, non-excitement-building "live from some windowless basement with some high school bleachers" finale? It looked like it was shot on camcorder, and what was the point of having everyone's family and all the past contestants if they didn't even show them in close up? It was like daytime TV, but, you know, worse.
The quote of the evening had to be Ted Allen saying to Teddy Ruxpin, er, Dale, "Oh, you're a very decadent boy, aren't you?" It was glorious, squeamish television.
I mourn for Casey and for CJ's lost ball.
Dale's menu made more sense. That chocolate cake thing was ridiculous. Hung is ridiculous.
Also, Hung busts his ass the way only a child of immigrants can. Soul is for the bourgeoisie. People like Dale-looking for their "inner chef", whatever the fuck that is.
But, leave it to Hung's children to name-check their Dad's Hmong heritage and mispronounce the equivalent of "Coq Au Vin".
When Sara, CJ and Howie showed up smiling, I couldn't help being reminded of the end of Return of the Jedi when the ghosts of Yoda, Obi Wan and Annakin/Darth reappeared to beam on life beyond them. But the end of Star Wars was like Triumph of the Will, so...
100% 50/50.
The circle is complete.
i LOVE that you guys noticed the weird fakeout kiss!!! what was that anyway??? although i liked casey the best, personality-wise, i think the best chef did win
There goes Dale's endorsement deals with Ben Sherman short-sleeve shirts and Fudge Matte Hed styling paste.
The only cargo in his pockets now is disappointment.
Crystal Gayle awoke to find Padma walking around in her bedroom nude, except for that dress.
@katastic: or coconut foam.
I think the comparison you're reaching for is between the high Gothic and its reliance on increasingly elaborate mathematics (all the better to give glory to God) and the triumph of the human in the early Renaissance architecture of places like the
Hung is just annoyance in human form. No wonder douchebag guy from Season 2 loves him so much.
@Cheap Shot: really? the whole season I just thought his name had the saddest irony. oh, who am I kidding, just funny irony.
@iwn2000: Did you notice that during the live section the judges were all wearing the same outfits they wore during the pre-taped segment? Were we supposed to believe that this was all part of the same day?
Also, kudos for Casey for being so upfront about the fact that she obviously lost.
.... Pazzi Chapel in Florence, which happens to be surrounded by Gothic buildings, making the contrast that much more evident.
How uncomfortable was the whole Padma **LIVE** bit? And why was the live telecast so blurry? Eh, blame Micah.
Even though Hung won, I had a hard time watching the finale last night. Rocco just didn't live up to my expectations of annoyance, and I'm still feeling confused about that.
I am not a fan of his ugly face.
@iwn2000: I agree. Not a single close-up of the family and friends? What was the point?
Surprise! The villain won in the first finale where they expanded the field because the "quality was so good this season." Top Chef is edible Project Runway last season.
@Dweeb: SERIOUSLY! That dress was heinous.
Am I delirious or were the judges wearing exact same outfits on the last taped segment and the 'live' broadcast? Lame. Oh, yeah and that prawn dish...ew.
@LolCait: Teddy Ruxpin: HA!
I'm having trouble getting past that weird crap photoshop job. Why are his edges all fadey like that?
If he lost, I was kind of hoping Hung would lose it and wander about the judges' panel, tossing lit firecrackers.
I feel like Isaiah Washington saying this, but I cheered on Hung to win over douchey Dale. As a gay man, I can't support the "mid life crisis faux hawk" on a fellow homo. Just like in any other contest with a gay in it, talent doesn't matter, hair does.
@karion: While Dale sang "Sister Christian."
@AndYourLittleDogToo: That was totally lame. It reminded me of how they used to (and perhaps still do) pull that for the finale of 'Survivor,' with all the castaways dressed in their raggedy tribal gear, except it's being shot months later in the studio and they've gained back all their weight and are wearing tons of pancake makeup. The effect was more distractingly grotesque than anything else.
I am glad that I did not completely hallucinate the Gail Simmons/Hung embrace. Yet another reason why she needs to be on the damn show more often. MAKEOUTZ.
Soul vs technical: in the town my Pa works in (LSD capitol of the world!), the food you're served is greatly dependant on whether the chef had a good trip or a bad trip the night before. Even at it's worst it's better than TGIF.
@iwn2000: Considering last years' winner was spoiled because Ilan quit his job 2 days before he was announced as the winner, I'd say the "live" segment served it's purpose: it put Bravo in control of it's own tv show.
As much as I wanted Casey to win, she totally blew it. For a minute, I thought Dale might pull out the win. I'm glad he's a better person for this competition, but Hung was clearly the most consistent and technically gifted chef. Soulless or not.
@Shanghaibaby: No, they totally were. As if, immediately after eating The Last Supper, they all hopped on jets and flew to that odd soundstage in Chicago, filled with the contestants' family and friends. Despite the fact that the Aspen Food and Wine Festival was in June.
I'm actually really glad I found this out before I watched the episode. I am totally, vehemently anti-Hung, and I will enjoy the hour of my life much more watching the goshawful Bionic Woman.
Reality television has taken over scripted; tabloid press is getting increasing exposure on traditional news outlets; social networking and massively multi-player gaming has comfortably entered the mainstream.
I'm frightened with how easily we settle into these new shells, we shadows to the entertainers who dazzle with pomp bourgeois. I'm guilty of it, too.
@ceejeemcbeegee: Hmm, interesting point. Still, Bravo could have produced the segment themselves instead of having a local high school A/V squad handle it.
@LolCait:
And then maybe Bourdain could have whipped out a gun and restored order.
Boobs did not know how to chop an onion. She had no reason to make it that far other than to wear bikinis and tight t-shirts.
It's kind of compelling how Hung's eleventh-hour lunge for "soul" (lemongrass, coconut and tamarind in one menu after a full season of cooking French) was the coldest, most calculating thing he could have done. And yet it was the very thing the judges have been pushing on him - "Be more Asian, damn it!" Authenticity equals sellout.
@ClassicTidy: wrong brush during quick mask.
Good for Hung, he deserved it. I knew Casey was DOA when she showed up on the mountain wearing those hideous oversized rhinestone sunglasses straight from 1980. Remember, people, she lives in Dallas. Texas.
@ceejeemcbeegee: I really didn't mind the live segment because they controlled when the winner was announced. And anything they showed was still so much better than the live finale of The Next Food Network Star, where the loser had to be quickly shuttled off-stage due to her hysterics.
Loved that Hung won--since Tre was booted too soon (but for good reason, as he did screw up) I started pulling for Hung. I lost a lot of respect for the other contestants as soon as they started whining about how Hung wouldn't help anyone else--it's a competition, kids. Get over it. Though Casey was talented, she always came off as snobbish to me, ever since she felt it necessary to explain what an amuse bouche is to us uneducated folks. Hung was an unapologetic elitist, and I salute him for that.
JDS, your biting funny prose just leaps off the page at me - I love it, it's a great read. I haven't even been watching this season's Top Chef beyond a random 3 or 4 episodes. I've instead looked forward to catching up via the Gawker recaps.
In any case, I have been in Hung's camp all the way, ever since that one episode where Tom told him to be careful, and to stop running around all psychotic and anxious while carrying stabby utensils. Viva le Hung!
I have to say that I was kind of on the fence until Dale LIED about that scallop dish that one-nutted, Padma-luvin', tall-drink-o'-water C.J. made for him as his "fourth course" during judge's table. He's a liar! With an unsavory fauxhawk!
@Debussy Fields: ack... i got the star wars dvd box not too long ago (with the two ewok movies, thank you very much) and in addition to all the bullshit they added about 10 years ago they had the balls to replace that crusty dude that played darth with hayden fucking christensen in that final scene. fuck you for bastardizing my childhood george lucas, i know where you live!
@karion: Later, down and out, CJ whips out the uniballer in a pickup truck in a stip mall parking lot for loose change.
Boy that Hung can butcher chickens.
It's hard not to root for a miniature Vietnamese bisexual who doesn't play well with others. I was with him until his final course…chocolate molten cake?! How could an elitist foam-master fall back on such a T.G.I. Friday's dessert? He should've just gone full force and had Sara whip up a Cinnabon Cheesecake.
[www.project-me.com]
@jobbotch: Right on about the 11th hour sellout. A few weeks ago my wife said that Hung would be this season's Marcel. And while not quite as fingledorpingly plast-ass as all that, lil' wolverine (now with beard!) did leap up to congratulate Hung. Gail got sloppy seconds.
Padma bugs me. Throughout nearly all the episodes she had this sinister/poker face and once she got to Aspen she became Ms. Smiley. She musta snared some post-Rushdie ass at the Little Nell...