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midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Michael's Drug & eBay Addiction; Twilight Star Put In Box
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where instead of Duck Duck Goose, it's Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael, Twilight. Margaret assists in the deconstruction of Star, Us, In Touch, Life & Style and Ok!, after the jump. [Jezebel] -
midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Dead Bodies, Beach Bodies, Weddings & Monkeys
It's Wednesday, so this is Midweek Madness, our tabloid roundup. Star was the only rag without Michael Jackson on the covers this week, maybe hoping people prefer "Beach Bodies" to untimely death? Step inside for more weeklies, after the jump. [Jezebel] -
high gloss
The End of the Poptart Era: An Us Weekly Cover Analysis
How has celebrity gossip changed in over the years? Don't we hear a lot more about sad reality blobs these days than we do about say, one Britannica H. Spears? We employed our loyal assistant Julia Schweizer to find out. More » -
Media Crack
Us Weekly Stands Up for Journalistic Integrity
In your dire Thursday media column: Us Weekly starts a war, America refuses to watch gay broadcasters, "I.D." is the unluckiest magazine name, and North Korea will try the US reporters it snatched: More » -
midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Bulging Beach Bodies & Hasselhoff Death Watch
If it's Wednesday, we must be playing Midweek Madness. Why else would assistant Margaret and I let the tabloids — Ok!, Us, In Touch, Life & Style and Star — kick us in the shins? [Jezebel] -
midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Angelina Cheated On Brad With Blonde Female Rocker
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which assistant Margaret and I attempt to ingest the nutty stuff produced by the weekly tabloids. Details from Us, In Touch, Ok!, Life & Style and Star, inside. [Jezebel] -
leadership
Miss California Joins Embarrassing Conservative Leader All-Stars
"I would like to nominate Miss California as the new face of the marriage movement," NOM head Maggie Gallagher recently said. A wonderful idea, she'll fit right in with the rest of the GOP leadership! More » -
media
Chicago Tribune Stakes Future On Paper-Blogging
The Chicago Tribune is bankrupt and will lay off 20 percent of its staff on Wednesday. So how is it going to survive? By making its reporters rewrite items from gossip blogs! More » -
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recessionomics
Spanked By the Magazine Priests (And Kinda Liking It)
Us Weekly became the third magazine in a week reprimanded by the American Society of Magazine Editors for impure ads. It's as if Us, Entertainment Weekly and ESPN the Magazine don't care about purity!
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breakups
Lindsay Lohan Breakdown Is a Tabloid Feeding Frenzy
One might assume that months of teary, yelling, storming-out fights between Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson sated readers' appetites for details of the couple's drama. But it just made everyone hungrier for the big breakup.
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Media Crack
The Us Weekly-Leann Rimes-PR Firm Wild Conspiracy Speculation
In your outrageously newsy Wednesday media column: a PR conspiracy theory for Us Weekly, updates on Conde Nast layoffs and Interview cheapskate-ness, Steve Bartelstein vanishes, and trade mags start wheezing: More » -
midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Shiloh & Suri Forced To Be Friends; Katie Forced To Diet
It's Wednesday, so it's time for Midweek Madness. Did Brad make a move on the nanny? Is Katie starving herself for Scientology? Have Suri and Shiloh ever met? The tabloids ask and answer. [Jezebel] -
midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: "Octomom" Vs. Angelina; Jennifer Aniston's Tapes
Every Wednesday, we play Midweek Madness, in which we dare to try and "read" the celebrity tabloids. This week, Us was the only mag that used Rhianna as the main cover image. [Jezebel] -
the obamas
Obamas Are America's Last Celebrities
It's weird, isn't it, that the Obamas are still on celebrity mag covers? On this week's Us, there's Michelle and the kids, next to a little sidebar with "fat" Jessica Simpson and lonely Jennifer Aniston. More » -
rumormonger
Jann Wenner Firing People At Drop of a Hat
Can Wenner Media go three weeks without another spurt of layoffs? Probably not, judging by its recent history. The latest seemingly whimsical cuts came earlier today. More » -
rolling stone
Jann Wenner's Heartless Christmas Layoffs
Rolling Stone overlord Jann Wenner forgot to do some layoffs in his last round, two weeks ago, so he just fired some more people, less than a week before Christmas. More » -
celebrity-industrial complex
Us Weekly Sides with McCain, Obamas Are 'The New Brangelina'
John McCain was right. So was Bonnie Fuller, and so were we! President Elect Barack Obama has totally become not just the great mixed-race hope for the nation, but he and his family have also evolved into tabloid-worthy celebrities. He and his wife Michelle are, in fact, "the new Brangelina." Well, that's according to Albert Lee, an editor for the bright Queen of all Glossies, Us Weekly. More » -
sad things
Grading The Celebrity Glossies' Jennifer Hudson Coverage
Yesterday we took a look at the celebrity glossies' websites, to get a sense of how this weeks issues would cover the Jennifer Hudson story. People and Us Weekly seemed like they planned to devote the most space reporting on the murders of the singer/actress's mother, brother, and nephew. And, sure enough, they were the only two to run the story as the main image on their covers. But what's inside? More » -
sad things
Handicapping How the Gossip Glossies Will Cover Jennifer Hudson's Family Tragedy
When the celebrity weeklies unveil their new covers tomorrow, we can bet they'll be dominated by coverage of the terrible Jennifer Hudson news story, in which the singer and actress's mother, brother, and 7-year-old nephew were murdered on Friday. And we suppose they're right to, it being big news and all. Since the issues went to print yesterday, it's up to the websites to tease what each publication has in store (and to keep up with breaking developments). So what might each magazine be featuring? We took a look at five magazines' websites today to try to see if there were any hints of what their coverage will look like tomorrow. More » -
splits
Messy Divorces: 'Old, Wrinkled' Madonna vs. 'Sneaky Coward' Guy Ritchie
The ink is barely dry on those first giddy divorce filings, and already the vultures are circling world's biggest pop star Madonna and her cuckolded soon-to-be ex-husband, "film director" Guy Ritchie. While the two stars themselves have remained relatively demure about the whole matter—Madge makes the same "emotionally retarded" joke at every concert, Guy reportedly said on the set of his new film Sherlock Holmes, "today's going to be a weird one, but don't feel awkward because this is where I want to be" while waving a copy of a British tabloid—the press has been a little more salacious. The latest Us Weekly features a gushy, long-for-that-publication article on the storied split, providing hideous and sad details like how Ritchie used to refer to sex with his Isla Bonita as "cuddling up with a piece of gristle." That's just... well, that's poetry Mr. Ritchie. How messy is this thing going to get?
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midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Aniston & Mayer Have Sex; Anorexic Stars Without Makeup
If it's Wednesday afternoon, this must be Midweek Madness, your weekly tabloid roundup source. Crappy covers this week, folks: Skinny stars, stars without makeup, Trista announcing her pregnancy, Jenny McCarthy talking about autism, and those kids from High School Musical. But we took the time to mine the mags for nuggets of gold. Intern Margaret assists as we dip our pan in the latest issues of Us, OK!, Life & Style, In Touch and Star, after the jump. [Jezebel] -
midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Mariah's Pregnancy, Aniston's Lipo, Angie's Shrink
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where we're always willing to punish ourselves by reading celebrity weeklies so you don't have to! This week, the tabloids are all over the place: Us shuns a "gossip" cover in favor of a "Style Issue," but the other mags try and make up for it with pseudo-scandalous stories. Mariah and her maybe-baby land one cover; Jen Aniston's adventures in cosmetic procedures get another; Lindsay Lohan's "untold story" gets the third and Angelina Jolie's mental health wins the last. Intern Margaret assists as we dabble in masochism by reading and reporting on the contents of OK!, Life & Style, In Touch and Star, after the jump. [Jezebel] -
heather locklear
Heather Locklear's 911 Call Placed by Concerned, Paparazzi-Friendly Former 'Us Weekly' Staffer
When we first heard about Heather Locklear's weekend arrest for driving under the influence of a controlled substance, we were most interested in the curious detail of the sunglasses she repeatedly ran over. Turns out, the entire case is full of curious details, and here's the biggest one: the witness who placed the call to 911 is a former Us Weekly staffer who's under investigation by the FBI for hacking into the magazine's computer system to locate celebrities. Oh, and she called the paparazzi immediately after her 911 call. Oh, and she also just happens to have a lucrative partnership with Locklear rival Denise Richards! Details and her kooky 911 call, after the jump: More » -
Lynda Lopez
BREAKING NEWS: Over the wires from Us Weekly comes this exclusive, breaking story, which the magazine immediately rushed to the top of its website: "Jennifer Lopez's Sister Has Baby Girl!" According to the magazine, sister Lynda "and her beau Adam Goldfried" welcomed their daughter into the world on August 28. Knowledge of this three-week-old birth from the sister of a celebrity is now yours — must credit Us Weekly. [Us] -
midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Miley's Man Models, Lindsay Cuts Herself, 90210 Stars Don't Eat
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, your source for tabloid "news." Finally, after a super slow summer, things are picking up! The scandal gaining strength? The reed-thin appearance of the ladies of 90210 2.0. Plus! Miley's "new man" is a former underwear model, and the mags bring the pictures to prove it. Oh, and Lindsay Lohan may or may not be cutting herself, though this was buried under a lame "Richest & Poorest Stars" story in In Touch. Intern Margaret assists as we pick through the yard sale of info in OK!, In Touch, Star, Life & Style and Us, after the jump. [Jezebel] -
baked alaska
Sarah Palin Paid Own Money To Install That Tanning Bed In Alaska Governor's Mansion
Yes really, Us Weekly reports. News of a $30,000 piece of (arguably) nonessential equipment being installed on the premises of a taxpayer-funded residence might appear to pose problems for her running mate John McCain's presidential campaign in light of his long-fought crusades against wasteful government spending and also skin cancer, but she paid for it with her own money she made charging taxpayers for all those nights she stayed in her own house back in Wasilla. If she is any kind of decent "executive" she charged Bristol and Willow per 10-15 minute sessions to use it too. I love Sarah Palin. Although I sincerely hope she did not abuse her power as governor to get a better deal from that gym from which she bought it. More » -
fashion weak
Is This The Most Boring Fashion Week Since 9/11?
No really, I checked with Jezebel editor Anna Holmes, seriously no one cares this year. I even checked with the anonymous comments left on New York Times fashion critic Cathy Horyn's blog; this is like the most irrelevant-feeling Fashion Week since the terrorists got involved. Why? Well I thought of five good reasons! This guy (pictured) is your first clue…
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open letter
Janice Min Backtracks, Grovels To Angry Right. Isn't That Just Like Us?
Dear Us Weekly editor-in-chief Janice Min, I realize I told you it was a massive screw-up for you to go so hard on Sarah Palin. And I realize I might have even done my part to fan the flames. But seriously, was it really necessary to tell David Carr she "out Obama’ed Obama with her speech” and "came on like a supermom who is not going to take a lot of guff from anyone"? And whose idea was it to offer five whole free issues to all your enraged Republican hate-mailers, only so said hate -mailers could turn around and betray you to the likes of demonspawn Michelle Malkin?? That sounds like something Jesus would do, Janice Min! More » -
us weekly
Us Weekly's Fashion Spinoff An Onion Article Come True
It was a little over three years ago that the Onion lampooned the idea of a highbrow quarterly spinoff of Us Weekly. Now, thanks to the American cult of celebrity, this "joke" has finally come true! The celebrity gossip rag is expanding, via an unnamed new publication, into the slightly more highbrow topic of celebrity fashion, the Wall Street Journal reports this morning. Us owner Jann Wenner is chasing the success of People's StyleWatch, which now publishes 10 times per year and circulates more widely than Vogue. Given the "fashion" choices of many celebrities, that's insane. It's also a singular accomplishment: Time Inc.'s In Style and American Media's Star both launched failed fashion spinoffs. Maybe Wenner thinks he can do better. Or maybe he's just trying to jack up the price he'll fetch when the magazine overlord finally sells off (as long rumored) the Us portion of his empire. Notes the Journal: More » -
kill baby kill
Six Fun Reminders To Start Boycotting The New York Post!
You know how doctors and elementary school principals all through the land are canceling their subscriptions to Us Weekly in the aftermath of the jihadist pinko rag's biased coverage of Sarah Palin? Well today we learned there may be a "silent majority" of folks who would be doing the exact same thing with the New York Post, right here in New York, but no one hears from them because they don't consume a few metric tons of gas just getting to work every day and are thus subjected to the presence of these innovative small businesses known as "newsstands" on a regular basis, and it is at these operations that liberal-leaning media consumers are casting their votes. "If I had a nickel for every friend of mine who told me they stopped buying the Post every time an election cycle hit," a Post employee told a Gawker operative today…well he'd probably be able to afford a copy of Italian Vogue! The point is, we know the Post's coverage of this Palin crap has been hard on all of you. Some of you may have quit reading it altogether! If so, here is some stuff you've missed. I scanned it in so we wouldn't have to link!
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from the mailbag
Elementary School Cancels Their Subscription to US Weekly
We just received a sternly-worded missive from the Orange Center Elementary School in Fresno, asking us to cancel their subscription to US Weekly. Presumably this is part of the wave of cancellations related to their totally controversial Sarah Palin coverage. This raises so many questions: what exactly is an elementary school doing with a subscription to US Weekly? And why did they e-mail us to cancel it? More » -
janice min
'Us' Update II
That mass protest by Us Weekly subscribers upset by the celebrity magazine's harsh treatment of the Republicans' Sarah Palin? Not quite as mass as all that. [Related, Related] -
In Brief
Reading Between the Lines
The US Weekly reporter who wrote this week's cover story about Sarah Palin's "Babies, Lies & Scandal" tells the HuffPo she's voting for McCain. (She also got a crapload of angry messages on her answering machine!) Thankfully, she had the HuffPo to journal her side of the story. [Time blog] -
us weekly
Us Losing Thousands Of Subscribers Over Palin Cover
Maybe it should have been obvious that the celebrity weeklies were going to politicize as soon as Hillary Clinton and her supporters showed strong resistance, during the primary season, to acquiescing to Barack Obama, thus highlighting the importance of women voters in 2008. But the heightened political importance of the magazines, whose readers are overwhelmingly female, wasn't in anyone's face until this week, when Us Weekly made waves with its controversial "Babies, Lies & Scandal" Sarah Palin cover. The issue, unflattering to Palin, has so far resulted in 5,000-10,000 cancelled subscriptions, MSNBC.com's gossip column is reporting. (Though MSNBC's Courtney Hazlett is close to Us Weekly's rivals; and—see below—the magazine's Janice Min says the losses are overstated.) More » -
us weekly
Dear Janice, You Are Supposed To Be a Uniter, Not A Divider
Us Weekly's (amusingly) gratuitously aggressive coverage of Sarah Palin has triggered a full-blown culture war! We have some of the vicious hate mail to prove it. (From "Juno.com" email addresses, to lend the whole saga a somewhat literary flourish!) That lady Ted Kennedy killed is invoked. So is some language too hot for Peggy Noonan! Some notable specimens and a message for Janice Min after the jump. More » -
clips
McCain Surrogate: 'Us Weekly' Integral Cog in Liberal Media Sexism Machine
The attempt by the McCain campaign to deflect criticism of their insane choice of running mate by assailing the media is already ridiculous. Steve Schmidt whined to Howard Kurtz about hypothetical questions asked by journalists that have not resulted in stories printed anywhere. They boycotted Larry King because Campbell Brown dared ask mean questions of Tucker Bounds. Now their surrogates are grasping at the most sublimely ridiculous straw of all: when asked by Chris Matthews to name the major media outlets engaged in character assassination of Sarah Palin, adorable Florida Congressman Adam Putnam named Us Weekly. Us Weekly! Yes we did just reveal their radical secret agenda today but still, this is the best you can do? Chris Matthews then calls it "the U. S. Weekly." Now the McCain campaign will boycott magazines, probably. -
journalismism
Does Us Weekly Have A Secret Radical Leftist Agenda?
Is Us Weekly biased? That's what Fox News has been saying all morning in light of that "Sarah Palin, Governor of the Rhythm Method State" cover. But (in stark contrast to so many of the other things we hear on Fox News) we did not want to believe Us Weekly had a political agenda, mainly because, as with Fox News, we like to forget that whoever Us Weekly is targeting at is actually allowed to vote. But in the face of mounting evidence that the network might be on to something we gave the issue a thorough examination, and it pains me to report that Us Weekly is biased. So biased. You could be forgiven for wondering if the whole rag wasn't being bankrolled by a big gay homofag! (If not Hamas!!!) Here readers, the evidence:
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sarah palin
Palin Coverage Squeezes McCain
Us Weekly released its much-anticipated Sarah Palin issue, resurfacing in it a January incident in which the John McCain running mate laughed along with a shock jock who called her Republican rival a "bitch" and a "cancer" on the state. Us got fresh quotes from the woman in question, a cancer survivor who is still quite pissed about the incident despite a halfhearted apology from Palin. The celebrity weekly also questioned whether the father of Palin's forthcoming granddaughter really wants to have kids. As right-wing bloggers are bitterly noting, the coverage scandalizes John McCain's running mate before the magazine's 12 million readers, mostly the very females Palin was recruited to attract. It's not lost on any of them, either, that Us Weekly owner Jann Wenner is a big Barack Obama supporter. With coverage of Palin's various scandals — the love child, the radio thing, troopergate, etc. etc. — still everywhere, Palin's role in the campaign is being severely restricted, the Wall Street Journal reports in a page-one story today: More » -
midweek madness
This Week In Tabloids: Suri Battles Shiloh, Jamie Lynn Gets Cheated On, Britney's OK!
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we digest the celebrity gossip in the weeklies so you don't have to. This week, the tabloids have the dreaded BABY FEVER. There are celebribabes on three covers, including the spawn of Britney. Jennifer Love Hewitt and her body get one cover, and Jamie Lynn Spears gets the other, with In Touch breaking the news that her 19-year-old baby daddy has a 28-year-old lover named Kelli. Intern Margaret assists as we strain to excrete what we've consumed in OK!, Life & Style, In Touch and Star, after the jump. [Jezebel]





































