Gawker

Combine both studies, and you'll understand why the hottest women only date ugly rock stars.

To say nothing of the well-funded study on pontifical religious affiliations.

So it isn't just me? What a relief! I've felt like such a freak for all these years ...

Also that study about the theistic beliefs of the world's great religious leaders.

@Dwayne Provecho: Curses! Beaten to the punch -- and more wittily, at that!

These and other cutting-edge studies may be found in this month's issue of "No Shit Sherlock Monthly"

But who will conduct the scientific research into whether rap stars are more likely than average to be involved in shooting incidents?

What's the average SAT at the Tautology University?

@LittleLolly: I'll wait for the shortened versions to appear in Duh Digest.

In an ironic subset of data, it turns out that most gay men do NOT want anything to do with married creeps cruising airport bathrooms. But they could find very few statistical differences between gay men and rock stars.

@Dwayne Provecho: And the attendant study of comical papal haberdashery.

Hey, I'll have you know that studying the sex lives of rockers is on the list of most dangerous professions, right behind cab driver and postal employee.

The world's awash in this stuff.

I recently edited a paper finding, among other things, that high school students found attractive by their peers are more popular than others.

Who knew?

And to think that those sweet little hussies on Rock of Love are going to all that trouble.

These febrile women in their dying chairs will soon meet their match in Jerry Lewis's illiterate cigarettes.

I hear the jury's still out on science.

Also breaking:

Republican, evangelical gays more likely to be closeted
Women willing to sacrifice male attractiveness for money, power
Proliferation of Viagra ads on sports programming possibly connected to sedentary leisure activities

They forgot vomit.