No incesto.

Don't get me started about the implications of the three-legged race. Yikes! I think I'm having a recovered memory...

Anything called "Jubilee" that does not include an abundance of berries can go straight to the hell it's working so incestuously hard to avoid.

I wonder if they attended seminars on what it'll be like when they marry their cousins?

One day, those girls will want to have a go at their dads with a straight razor. Proof positive that most of the country is nuts. Thank God Manhattan is an island.

Don't "they" also have something along the lines of a Promise Ring in which there's a ceremony or something in which the daughters promise to their fathers that they'll remain pure or something?

I think I tried to bleach that bit of information from my psyche right after learning of it.

Liberty + Jubilee + Faith + 10 years = Way screwed up.

Yeah... Not creepy... at all... I'm gonna go burn my clothing now.

@depardoo: Or maybe have a Daddy flashback while shaving their abusive husbands with a straight razor while Shug has to sprint across the purple flower fields to try to prevent the extra clost cut about the jugular?

My Daddy Loved Me Just A Little Too Much: A Memoir by Crystal Ruth Yokel

Also:

Liberty, Jubilee, Faith and Sister Mother(not pictured)?

o.k., the dresses are horrid and the parents have inadvertently given at least two of the girls names they won't have to change if they ever start stripping. but their delivery is better than what i see on local tv news. and if i get shown the exit door for this, so be it, but i see way too many kids who never know their fathers because daddy is dead or in prison or ran off and the kids are a fucking mess. so maybe these honkies are on to something.

Well I for one thinks it's awfully nice to hear little Purity, Chastity and Sterility recount the special games fathers and daughters can play...

They are gonna make great strippers.

"Then we attended the 'Eve the Whore' seminar where Daddy and his friends explained to us that menstruation is God's punishment to all women because of Eve's actions in the Garden!!!"

"Then all the daughters were force fed apple cobbler. Yummy!!!"

@The Real JR: We obviously had similar literary/cinematic upbringings, because that was the very first image in my mind as well. I wonder how they handle it in the Broadway version.

How about an Everyday News segment on what the mommies did on their weekend off?

@oovy: I have yet to see the Bway version. I'm thinking a sequence involving giant dancing straight razors a`la the candleabra and giant armoire from Beauty and the Beast. Tastefully done, though, for dramatic effect.

i mean, am i the only who doesn't find this creepy at all? if they were doing this stuff with there moms, gawker would be shutting up. just because some people enjoy *gasp* close relationships with their father, god forbid! doesn't mean we need to snark all over it. shit, i'm a fully formed adult and still go on dates with my dad whenever i'm back in my hometown.

@The Real JR: Awesome!

Brings new meaning to the phrase, "a girl after her own father's heart."

Warren Jeffs would be proud.

@rebecca l: So how long have you been shaving him? I really want to know.

[www.visionforumministries.org]

@The Real JR: The Fantasia tie-in to that concept is blowing my mind.

Of course this little soiree takes place in Georgia. Hardly needed to be said. When it comes to whacky religious cults not even Louisiana can hold a candle to the Peach State. Check out Bishop Eddie "Cadillac" Long if you need more proof.

The girls will mkae great assistants to Gonzo when he takes over as chief legal officer in hell.

@rebecca l: It's not simply the fact that fathers and daughters are spending time together that I find, yes, creepy. It's a combination of many things, including the girls' patriotically religious/religiously patriotic names, their "Little House On The Prairie" frocks, the remote Southern location, and the shaving. It does indeed remind one of the "Purity Balls" that religious radicals are having, wherein girls pledge their virginity to their fathers until they're married (despite the fact that women are getting married well into their thirties and forties nowadays). It seems to me the most zealous anti-sex, religious conservatives are the ones with the most fucked-up sexual kinks, so getting a group of these guys together down on a farm somewhere alone with their daughters is, yes indeedy, very creepy to me.

Damn, and to think all those years in Indian Princesses all we did was stupid crafts and drink beer. (The dads, not the daughters. They had to learn the drinking part, and the shaving business on their own.)

This whole thing sounds like a long Sarah Silverman bit to me.

@oovy: We should totally commission Sanjaya for Harpo in the next cycle.

@The Real JR: Alice, you sold your soul, there is now nothing you can do.

@francophony: Just to add a little more creepy flavor, Jubilee, Liberty, and Faith have four siblings: Joshua, Justice, Honor, and Providence. Rumor has it Mama is pregnant with twins, and the family has decided to go more Old Testament this time around. Say hello to little Sodom and Gomorrha.

Wow. My kids seem OK, and I try to spend as much time as I can with the little shits, but if I ever see my girl coming at me with a razor? I won't be praising Jeebus, I'll be running. They all turn into teenagers sooner or later.

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't see a problem. My son waxes my legs all the time. Please don't judge our dynamic.

Red states: making the rest of the country doubt the existence of a just and benevolent God since 2000.

@The Real JR: So we'll be seeing you again at MotherBoy this year?

oh honey.
Hate to break it to you, but that wasn't ice cream.

You think those names are bad? I grew up in a part of Wisconsin with a number of self-righteous, ill-groomed Quiverfull families, and knew a family where the six girls had the following names: Deliverance, Sweetness, Piety, Providence, Constance and, I shit you not, Temperance. (The boys were John, Paul and Luke, something I imagine their sisters resented enormously.)

The Puritanesque names are very popular with the crazy Dominionist set. I expect they'll start naming their children things like "Search-the-scriptures" and "Smite-the-unrighteous" any time now.

I have Big Love for Liberty, Jubilee and Faith.

You saw it here first: Future Dominatrixes Club of America.

Damn right, NYC. We're out here. And we're coming for you, with polyester suits, Blue Bunny Ice Cream, and disposable razors.

In ten years Gawker will be called Gaper and will be reporting live from Branson, the center of the universe.

@rebecca- read the article, they're not just spending time with daddy- they're learning to be domestic and submit to the male figure in their life: Daddy and graduating to (cousin) Hubby.
This Southern "submit with grace" crap is part of why Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter publicly split with the Southern Baptists.

@bleet: I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who remembers Indian Princesses! Admittedly, they are vague and spotty memories.