Oh, shit. I have to salute his posting it on his own site.

"If a person has nothing but pictures of their head, they are not height/weight proportional."
Funny, this was the little bit of wisdom that I pulled out of a fortune cookie just last night!

Yes, it is an very noteworthy story.

I want to sleep in his shoes! Me! Me!

@mathnet: Taken from the Eric Schaeffer playbook.

And if a person doesn't post pictures of thier spotlessly clean asshole, it means they don't wipe!

You dirty, dirty birds!

Happy Birthday,
Emily Gould!!!!!

(tomorrow, right?)

You would think he would at least TRY to not sound like a douchebag.

Wait. Isn't Neal Pollack the Worst Person in the World?

I did not know I didn't know what an orphan is.

We are An Overwhelming Army of Bloggers. Let's annex something!!

I left my thoughts on this in the post down below. I've raked this guy over the coals, and frankly, those coals are still glowing and I got steaks to cook.

But, I'm curious, not judgmental at all, in asking: What tips the scales to OK in publishing the initial loathsome email? Does the mere act that I set my shit afloat upon the cyberocean make it fair game for all to see? And why?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to audit Mr. Page's spelling errors.

Hey come on, the guy's an orphan. Cut him some slack.

First the overwhelming army of bloggers came for Julia Allison and I did not speak out - because I did not have sex for expensive shoes.

Then they came for Neil Pollack and I did not speak out - because I had no precocious cheese-eating children.

They came for John Fitzgerald Page and I did not speak out - because I was not a douchebag.

Then they came for me - and there was no one left to give me a reality show.

@TheBigDoggy: Or perhaps they're merely a headless body.

I sent a not very nice private email to someone. That is all.

And he'll never do it again, most like!

I felt bad about savagely dissing him yesterday when I realized that he read EVERY SINGLE POST before writing his treatise, but then I remembered his letter to that woman and I instantly felt better.

At least he said it was a "not very nice email". The fact that he's willing to admit this at the end of all that whining ultimately makes him a big boy. Sorta. Damn.

@mathnet: True. And it's entirely a commendable answer. He did a stupid thing, and unfortunately it got shared.

Of course, he should also understand that nobody will remember him in about 2 months from now. And his life will go back to normal ENTIRELY. Aleksey Vayner? Nobody cares. Nobody remembers. He'll find a nice job, and buy his girlfriend nice fake boobs and a gym membership, and everything will be status quo.

@RufusV2: I probably meant to write "bodyless head." I'm not really sure.

He looks like Perez Hilton's straight brother. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to the gym in 14.278 minutes!

@keebers: Oh, god...and then I looked at his picture again.

SMARM must be punished.

ok, I don't really feel bad for him but judging by his website entry, he took this way too personally. I guess it's hard not to when it's you and people actually call you and email you and vilify you to your face but still... to quote Bobby Mcferrin, "don't worry, be happy" even if you're J to the F to the P. Can you believe he won't even sing that song anymore? now THAT's a travesty.

But we can still beat 2000 entries on the original post by 5 o'clock.

@collegecallgirl: Oh, that was wonderful.

This is like the time LolCait led the Crusade for Moorish Dignity over at Levy Pants.

Animals and children love me (maybe because I don't have any).

I AM DYING!!!!

Cool...he mentions Mr. Whipple!

Well, let's hope that from now on, JFP will let all the head-only women just "float away."

@collegecallgirl: that was special.

Also, JFP says of his acting career:

"Just because you can't find it, haven't heard about it, can't see it or don't know about it doesn't mean it did not happen."

Who can see the windbag?
Neither you or I.
But when you get to the gym in 26 minutes.
JFP is passing by.

My future grandkids wil be able to read about this on the internet 50 years from now.

Woah! Let's not get ahead of ourselves here! Isn't this guy having trouble even finding a date? And why should we believe that anything spawned from his genitals will be able to read?

Poor guy. Somebody needs to tell him that's not the optimistic light of God shining over his head; it's just the reflection of the fluorescent lights off his bald dome.

"I don't smoke or do drugs."

That makes him a loser in my book.

I feel bad for him now. This probably means I am a sucker. But he should watch what he puts 'out there'.

@Flashman: I'm an orphan and I say he's a douche.

...and you can't call yourself an orphan if you lose your second parent as an adult. You don't see old-ass boomers walking around calling themselves orphans. It's in the orphans code.

@Pope John Peeps II: Yes.

Does the Gawker correspondent have her own site?

Had it only been the original e-mail, I would have been like, "Meh, douche, whatever. Probably happens all the time." But then there was the MySpace profile. And the personal site. And the "modeling agency" site. And the Match.com profile.

I'm sorry, just not feelin' the woe here.

"Here is my crime. Instead of just letting her float away, I let her know that I feel that if you approach me, you should meet my standards and listed facts about myself."

I've often thought women should meet listed facts about myself. Apparently, proper use of elision within a sentence eluded this Ivy Leaguer.

Now, it's all just sad. Except for the part where he says he looks forward to eating the craft service. I liked that.

After talking with him for 5 minutes yesterday and reading that letter it is obvious has no clue that bad publicity is always good publicity, especially when trying to start a career in the Acting Biz. Why is he not taking these book, movie, tv deals. He would be awesome on VH1's next reality series. "What Flavor is your Douche?"

Hmmm... The personal contact IS over the line. Joking on blogs is one thing but contacting him & threatening him is something else. I DO feel sorry for him about THAT. No one should be doing that.

Are you an orphan if your mother died 2 years ago and you're like - 40?

"I am looking for someone who is educated and who takes care of themselves. That is all."

Said "education" need not include a lesson on singular and plural. That is all.

@KarenUhOh: I hope those steaks meet your standards, and that they learn a few things about yourself.

The only thing I wonder was why he decided on the brown font color. What was it that tipped the scale?

@GothamTomato: False. He put it out there. We didn't have to dig it up.

@atipofthehat: OH MY GOD! Emily, we have the same birthday!! This makes my day. I love your writing. I am not kissing ass, either. Happy Birthday and October 13 is the best day in the world!

@KarenUhOh:

I left my thoughts there, too. I think the scales tip because this was an email from a stranger, not a friend. She sent a wink, got a douchey response, said "thanks but no thanks," then got his uberdouche response.

I think it terribly shitty to share a private email from a friend or former friend because there is/was inherently some trust there. There is, or was, a relationship. I thought it was shitty when JA sent her crap email from Jakob to Jezebel for all the site to ridicule (although it was later revealed that they don't do anything unless it is for a public audience). Here, however, this was a crap email from a stranger. No prior relationship or trust. Fair game.

Quick question: If he comes from such a loving family, why has he been on his own since 17? I mean, the dad part I can understand, but no one else stepped up to help teach this douche some manners?

He played the orphan card, which makes me feel kind of bad for him. And the general overwhelmingness of the response to his email. But then he so clearly still doesn't get it that I don't really feel that bad for him.

"Pyschology is something I really don't understand." First the Bay Area schools with NTJ & now Ohio with this...

I would like to hear from Tyler Perry on this matter.

Does this mean that everyone could accidentally find out how Jeffy accidentally seduced Mom over the Nerve Web?

Fight for your deams, John Page Fitzgerald!

@GothamTomato:

When I contacted him, I was nothing but nice. I honestly just asked him to tell me his side of the story. He was so down that I actually felt sorry for him while on the phone. There was a part