Nigella Lawson's Divorce Hearing Lasted Approximately One Minute

A thousand soufflés puffed up toward the radiant summer sun in celebration today as chef Nigella Lawson was officially granted a preliminary divorce from an old troll she accidentally married.

For those in need of a refresher, here are some things Lawson’s soon-to-be ex-husband, millionaire Charles Saatchi, has done since June:

1) Grab his wife’s throat while the two shared a meal

2) Publicly dismiss that incident as “a playful tiff” when photos of it were published in UK papers

3) Assure everyone Lawson was crying in the photos because “we both hate arguing”

3) Announce to a newspaper his intention to divorce her because she did not publicly dismiss that incident as “a playful tiff.”

Despite Saatchi’s stated intention to file for divorce from Lawson, court documents released on Wednesday list Lawson as the petitioner, requesting divorce on the grounds of Saatchi’s “unreasonable behavior.”

Nigella Lawson's Divorce Hearing Lasted Approximately One Minute

Following a hearing that lasted either 70 seconds (according to the Guardian) or less than one minute (according to the BBC), the couple was granted a decree nisi, the first of two steps toward formally ending their marriage. A decree absolute, after which point the divorce will become final, is typically issued six weeks and one day later.

The couple previously released a joint statement saying that neither will make financial claims against the other. Lawson employed the same attorney Paul McCartney used for his divorce from Heather Mills in 2008. Saatchi was represented by the moron that had served him so well in the past: himself.

[Image via Getty]

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