If there's one thing that outpaces Jerry Seinfeld's love of his own cars it's his dislike of other people. So you can only imagine his disgust when a normal woman backed into a precious Porsche of his the other day in the Hamptons.
The incident was so distasteful to Jerry Seinfeld that he granted an entire interview to the New York Post (people need to stop doing this) about the minor fender bender.
"I was sitting on a bench, having coffee with a friend,'' said Seinfeld, 60, who was with Argentine polo player Nacho Figueras at the time. "My car was parked directly across the street.
"We then watched as a middle-aged woman in a new, white BMW sedan pulled in front of my car, put her car in reverse and drove straight back into my car, smashing and damaging it.
"We could hear the sound of metal crunching — rare, classic, expensive, vintage metal, by the way — from across the street. A sickening sound to a car person,'' Seinfeld said.
Jerry Seinfeld stands to make up to $400 million from the upcoming syndication cycle of Seinfeld alone. If there's anyone in America who is both financially and mentally equipped to purchase and replace "rare, classic, expensive, vintage metal" it's Jerry Seinfeld.
"Of course, her reply was not, 'Oh, my God, I'm so sorry,' but, 'Well, I couldn't see it.' She didn't seem to understand why I would be upset or how this was in any way her fault," Seinfeld said.
Because no one gives a shit about vintage Porsches.
But finally, some self-awareness:
"And if you've ever spent a summer in the Hamptons, all of this makes perfect sense."
Whoops, wait, not that part. Sorry.
"My friend, who is Argentinian, said to me
Uhh, hold on here just one second. Okay, here we go.
'In life, sometimes we all need a little pinch.'
"He's right, she's right, everyone's right."
Jerry Seinfeld should stop giving interviews for a few months. I'm right.
[image via Getty]