Manhattan Real Estate Is Perfectly Affordable (for Billionaires)

Earlier this year, we advised you that New York City real estate has now become too expensive for anyone. We would like to issue a correction: New York City real estate is a bargain! It all depends on your perspective.

For you, personally, Manhattan real estate is too expensive. But you shouldn't be so self-centered. Look at it from the perspective of the international billionaire class. Ultraluxury Manhattan real estate is a steal, relatively speaking!

Instead of selfishly fretting over the prospect of paying $3,000 a month to rent a thoroughly average apartment in the city, take heart in the fact that that amount could not even purchase half a square foot of the average ultraluxury apartment in the "Billionaire's Row" of new condo towers springing up in Midtown. The New York Times notes that even the most exclusive apartments in One57, Manhattan's most luxurious new ultraluxury deluxe luxury luxetastic development, can be had for less than $7,000 per square foot. Meanwhile, similarly exclusive developments in Monaco, Hong Kong, and London sell for more like $9,000 per square foot. Plus, these astoundingly luxurious palaces come without the heavy burden of actually having to live there!

“We’re building the equivalent of bank safe deposit boxes in the sky that buyers can put all their valuables in and rarely visit,” said Jonathan J. Miller of the real estate appraisal firm Miller Samuel.

We hope this new, more expansive perspective on the real estate market makes you feel better about your own inability to "play in the big leagues," in the sense of purchasing adequate food and shelter. Hey, if you can't afford Manhattan, take your broke ass to Brooklyn*.

*You cannot afford Brooklyn.

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