Patti LaBelle Calls Out "Little Heifers" Unfit To Be Called Divas

We already know that there are several things that Patti LaBelle does not give a fuck about. The latest entry in what is destined to be an overflowing file as age ripens Ms. LaBelle into the greatest crabby old lady pop culture has ever witnessed is the label of "diva." In a terrific interview for PrideSource, the 69-year-old living legend gave writer Chris Azzopardi an earful of thoughts about the watering down of a word she clearly once considered to be a big compliment:

That word is used so loosely that I don't even consider myself a diva. I always considered myself a woman who sings her heart out and who gives 120 percent. "Diva" is a word that I wouldn't wanna call myself because it's so loosely used. It's not cute anymore...because all these little heifers who can't sing are called divas! It doesn't mean anything to me and probably to some of the other ladies who have been doing it for as long as I have: Gladys Knight, Aretha Franklin, Dionne Warwick. You know, I'm speaking for me - I don't know if they like to be called divas - but I know I wouldn't call them divas, because it's not in good company...Now you can look up to [so-called divas], but you might not see what you wanna see. A hot mess! People who are doing it and doing it with about 40 people on stage with them to hide their pitifulness - that's not a word, but you know what I mean.

(Actually, pitifulness is a word, or was, I guess. If Miss Patti says no, then the answer is no.)

These veteran performers can teach us so much about expanding our lexicon of epithets. "All these little heifers" is my favorite mean thing someone has said about someone else since Dionne Warwick called Nikki Taylor a "hussy" on The Celebrity Apprentice.

What else does Patti LaBelle not give a fuck about? A brand of water apparently. Here is her answer to a question about her trademark honesty getting her into trouble:

At this show in - oh, I don't know where I was this past weekend - but I said something that was totally gross and my son, who's my manager, stands in the back and watches everything, and when I come off (stage) he kills me. He killed me. "Mom, how could you say that?" I said, "It just slipped out." It was something about drinking water. It was something about a particular kind of water that I hate. I was just dissing the water but (he said), "Don't talk about it, because they might sue." Chris, I do a lot of things that after I do them I say, "Why?"

Don't we all, Patti?

One last thing: Here's what Miss Patti says she'd do if elected president:

I would let everyone gay who wants to get married - no matter what city, what country, what state - say "I do." That would be my first order. Everybody say "yes" to gay marriages.

So, uh, let's make Patti LaBelle president, then. The information in this post is literally all I need to put my full support behind her.

[Image via Getty]