I can’t find a picture of Paul Moran that I’m within my rights to post on this blog, so I’m going to tell you two things about him, and you’re going to imagine what he looks like. First, he was arrested recently for going fully nude at a place called “mushroom beach.” Second, when asked about it by a reporter, he answered, “I can’t let anyone kill my vibe.”
It’s not much, but it’s enough to conjure a reasonably vivid picture of our friend Paul. You’re thinking: White guy, long hair, tanktop, chest tattoo. You’re thinking: Prominent beaded necklace. You’re thinking: Like Brad Pitt in True Romance, if instead of screwing things up for Christian Slater, he was constantly talking about how Bonnaroo’s organizers have “lost sight of their roots.” You’re thinking: fedora with a unicorn horn(?) attached.
Look at you! Look at Paul! You’re good at this. Yes, your hero and your worst nightmare Paul Moran was cuffed for unleashing his devil stick and hacky sacks at a Kelowna, British Columbia, beach where it is evidently acceptable to go topless but not full naturale. According to Moran, a cop approached him and asked him to put some shorts on, and when he wrapped a scarf around his waist instead, that wasn’t enough. It was time to go downtown.
“I’m a very light-hearted person so I enjoy every moment I can. I was doing some singing, some chanting. The jail cells are very acoustically sound.”
Police charged Moran with indecent exposure and obstructing a police officer.
However, the incident hasn’t deterred him whatsoever.
“I was at the beach today sunbathing in the nude. I can’t let anyone kill my vibe.”
Vibe on, Earth brother.