NY Man Rubs Pepperoni on His Penis, Puts it BackS

A Potsdam, New York, man was arrested Wednesday and charged with public lewdness for allegedly rubbing a grocery store's packaged pepperoni stick on his exposed penis and then putting it back on the shelf.

John Allison, 41, had a sudden late-night craving for fondling cured meat, so he drove to the Hannaford in Massena and proceeded to do his thing.

NY Man Rubs Pepperoni on His Penis, Puts it Back

Unfortunately for Allison, a loss prevention security officer was observing his shenanigans on closed-circuit TV and got the entire thing on tape.

Sadly, the footage has not been released for public amusement.

In addition to the lewdness charge, Allison was also booked on a count of fourth-degree criminal mischief because the store had to dispose of the pepperoni for some reason.

Allison was released from St. Lawrence County jail after posting a $2,000 bond.

[H/T: Fark, photo via Shutterstock, mug shot via WNYF]