The Nybro Action Team consists of Hjalmar Sveinbjőrnsson and Alex Bejerstrand, two under-employed friends and former Nybro residents now living in northern Sweden. Hjalmar is a student and a chef; Alex helps run his father's talent agency. They will be recapping Season 3 of HBO's Girls.
Today is a celebration. We are halfway through season three, its been an interesting journey recapping a television show based on someones life's events, but writing without experience is utterly pointless so thus we depart with another half an hour of our life as the opening scene in GIRLS as we are thrust forward into the future:
Our anti-hero Hannah holds a cup of Ray's aloft while she shouts out the name of the buyer Maori, Moira, Maria? "I made that already" Ray announces. "Ohh" who was that for? Hannah asks, "Alex" he answers "but keep up the good work", she seems stressed and has asked him if they could talk. He wants to know what it is about, but she thinks it should be discussed in the office but our hero Ray sees right through her act; "oh, I am so sorry you wont be gracing us with your present anymore and... I will see you in about a week when you quit what ever bullshit gig you are leaving for and come back for your old job again."
But Hannah explains its not a bullshit job, its for GQ magazine. Ray insults Hannah with the standard "you so fugly" stick, kind of sick that being the staple diet of this sitcom but I guess it sparks from Lena need to write about her insecurity, making it even more of a "mind-fuck" because insecure people tent not to broadcast their problems, if her insecurity sparks from her side-fat, I am sorry Lena Dunham but I got side-flaps and starting to grow a bit of man boobs, but that is my fault not the existence of the human race, Alex has started to go to the gym because he fells out of shape, thankfully I will spend the next months shoveling dirt at a farm if not I would find means not to wreck my body through diet and static behavior because we kind of just get one to work with until the day we die
Back to the episode, I just needed to vent out how sick I am of the the "fugly" factor, people that have the need to find fabricated beauty through surgery or other often incredible unhealthy means will never be as beautiful as the people that find their inner beauty and strengths, so why the hell are you writing for GQ magazine?, apparently as I am typing on my amazing and robust [insert product name] Ray has spotted the gimmick and its an advertorial piece, there will be a sponsor that wants her to weave in a ad to her literary arts and he is outraged and wants to know who it is?, we are not going to mention the name because they make nothing we want.
We are outside next to a basketball field where Ray is playing a game with couple of friends, Shoshanna walks by in some pointlessly expansive garment probably made by sweaty children and a pair of sunglasses pressed in a factory in China for 1/8 out of a cent while she stalks passed the court staring down Ray, he nods his head and she walks on.
In the standard GIRLS style of a 5 second unrelated shot we cut to Hannah and her new life in the cubical hell of the corporate world where she answers the phone in her "box" but the person hangs up before she finish saying "I am new here..."
We are at the Cafe while Ray is yelling at Dean (background character) for fucking up a cappuccino "fucking animal" he proclaims and heads into the back-office to use the phone in private, to call Marnie and check in with her, the conversation drags on for about 5 min of her being freaked out about him saying "check in" all the time and him being mad at her for not noting his gentleman attention. Ray is the perfect example of an extroverted introvert because he is great with words but sucks at using them, this conversation ends up with Marnie telling him to prove that he cares because she is far to busy watching an incredible exciting television program.
We are back in corporate-hell while some guy is trying to get attentions from Hannah while walking back and forth passed her cubical while butchering the classical "escalator" and among others, he explains to Hannah no ones tells anyone anything here and then brings her to the break area where there are free snacks, she is blown away with that facts and in next scene we see her stumble into the meeting room with her arms full of snacks that she then dumps over the table
"HA HA HA" she is a pig!
Only thing that saved that scene for me is the incredible attractive Jessica Williams, Senior youth corresponded of the Daily show and hottest women on television at the moment and … apparently the first black female character of this show after the standard "google" researches. Do I need to be "racially aware" to write about this? because that weirdly enough just makes me feel like an racist, I think I accidentally started hitting on Jessica with my "white guy is cool like a brotha" speech so lets move away from the shame and to the children clothes store.
Ms No-shame (Jessa) and Shoshanna are having a conversation while Jessa gets women to buy a black christening dress that is way to small on a one year old with the line "chic and unless your child has obesity."
Shosh is trying to explain that she maybe should get back with Ray because he has money now and Jessa is trying to point out that he is "Jewish" while the conversation steers to Shosh current lover slash maybe boyfriend that apparently is dumb as a rock, but chiseled like a statue, her only worried is that their children will be retarded, kind of a double edge statement coming from the worlds most naïve person.
We are taking back at GQ offices, sitting in the meeting room is the editorial chief and Hannah's co-workers get ready for today meeting. Her boss noticed that Hannah found the snack-room and then starts the meeting with brainstorming about article ideas for the segment; "field guide for the urban man", our anti-hero does a fantastic job, sprouting ideas like a potato in the sun while over shadowing her coworkers creativity, specially this one guy that later on will explain that he hates her face but just to note his idea sucked.\
Hannah and her new friend are gossiping on the phone where he "prep-school style" blurts out that he likes Karin played by one and only Jessica Williams but that conversation does not really go anywhere so let's cut to Ray's attempt with connecting with Marnie both emotionally and internally, he brought some coffee and muffins, ready to get to know her better while they watch "reality tv", the lowest form of TV.
We are in Hannah and Adams apartment where she dumps out all the snack-room candy she manage to stuff down her purse, Adam tells her its all shit, full off chemicals and fake salt, he continuous to make the dream catcher he has been working on since he came home earlier from a casting audition that he didn't get a call back from because he refused to smile and walked out, she tries to convince him to just take the job so they can pay the rent and such, he refuses because he don't want to, he can sell those on Etsy for 20 bucks a piece because people are idiots, Hannah's look says it all; a relationship with both participants being artistic is fiscally not sound.
We cut for 4 sec to Ray and Marnie fucking and of course I told Alex to draw that scene, Ray's ass glistering as the after noon's sun shines through the blinds
We are back in that evil diabetic spawning hell hole of a snack-room where the writers are having a discussion, mainly Hannah saying she might quit because she does not want to be a writer, she is a writers writer, fancy writer you might say, but the gang explains to her that they to have had great pieces... before they got stuck in the corporate world, free snacks and gym members ships, health care and dental, they still write, just not emotionally fulfilling pieces but they are trying to figure how to get back into the fancy writing game. Hannah asks how long they have been with GQ and their answer is "5 years to forever."
We are now at the library of the university where Shoshanna goes to school, she is having an conversation with her dumb boyfriend that seems to have an extra chromosome but saying that would be an insult to people with down syndrome, Shosh upper hand is her learned fascist intellect and "big words," otherwise she is on the same playing field as her lover, why? because she asks this man if he would like to be her boyfriend.
We are back at GQ where Hanna tries to quit her job because she does not want to become a corporate advertiser…. unless its for Prada or something "fancy" like, she changes her mind and tells her boss she is not quitting, the boss has no time for her bullshit and tells her to email if she works there or not.
We are now on the city streets of Brooklyn? Where Marnie and Ray are heading for lunch, seated at a china restaurant they start discussing regrets in life. Hers was she didn't spend a semester in Africa doing volunteer work and stuff like that, Ray argues how foreign aid is bad and outrages Marnie that proceeds to call him a racist, maybe if Marnie would have done that semester in Africa she might understand that Ray is partially right and if you are wondering what I am talking about then look up; Dambisa Moyo or learn about the horrendously top heavy inner workings of the U.N, discover Africa through other means then a seeing an ad for a starving African child and making up your whole conclusion about Africa from that one tiny racist narrow view point that some of those so called NGO broadcast in western countries and NEVER EVER give money to religious charities.
Ray screams he loves Africa, we typed in some stuff about Africa, we all decide to but the incredible complicated issue behind us and enjoy some dumplings.
We cut to Hannah crying in her cubicle, her office friend calls her and tries to console her on that she is not going become a corporate drone because in her free time she should become inspirited and devote time into writing, she feels better they hang up and we cut to one incredible non-sexy scene with Sosh and her lover with the extra chromosome.
Hannah just came home and Adam surprises her by telling her that he just got an job, acting job, but she has no time to listen because she is going to devote the next three hours into writing, she jumps in the couch with her laptop only to fall asleep shortly there after, Adam pulls the blanket over her and lets her sleep. The end.
Well that was little bit more exciting, we got Jessica Williams so maybe we wont procrastinate this recap as much, also I am curious to see Ray's love life crash and burn again, maybe he will fake his death.
Jessa I hope will
either disappear, overdose, vaporized, explode or just plain die …
never hated a character on TV as much as I hate her, maybe it is
because she reflects some behaviors I used to have as a teen, but
then I "grew up."
Whatever will happen next? Join us next week for some more GIRLS recap and bantering.
Nybro Action Team .. OUT!
Illustrations by Alex Bejerstrand. Read previous installments of Nybro Action Team! here.