Cher performed on live television for the first time in over 10 years on Tuesday night's live finale of The Voice. She moaned over a backing track on her comeback single...blah blah blah...the real story was her wig. Sorry, wigs.
"It's a woman's world," goes Cher's new song, but throwing two wigs on your head and having them fight it out is a straight-up drag queen move. And oh, what a fight it is. What's happening on top of Cher's head in the clip above is real visceral, like a nature documentary, except instead of animals consuming each other, it's fake hair doing that. Once I saw a car-flattened pigeon just off Washington Square Park that was being eaten by other pigeons like the pancake it had become. Cher's hair situation is almost as cannibalistic.
Or maybe that's just one wig that wants to be all things to all funky moms and Cher's allowing it because it's 2013 and that wig was born this way.
Cher looks like she's trying to be a Muppet by putting another Muppet on top of her head. I would say that's not how being a Muppet works, but then I'd be wrong. Cher's a Muppet. Her new song is an EDM banger. Dance magic dance.