Law enforcement officials in Ypsilanti Township, Michigan, say a 41-year-old man had apparently ripped off a sizable chunk of his own genitals with his bare hands while under the influence of magic mushrooms.
The unidentified Columbus, Ohio, man was picked up by Washtenaw County sheriff's deputies after triggering the burglar alarm at Ypsilanti Middle School around 1 AM last Tuesday.
He was naked and bloody from the waist down at the time.
It was later determined that the man had purchased what he believed to be hallucinogenic mushrooms while he was in town visiting friends.
"We’ve sent his blood off for further analysis to see if there was anything else, if the mushrooms could have been laced with something," Sgt. Fox added, noting that the man did not have a history of mental health problems.
Though his vital signs "were as low as they could go without being dead," the man has since made a partial recovery, and is now in stable condition.
As if he didn't already have enough problems, authorities said they intend to charge the man with burglary.