Only You, the Weird Gawker Media Reader, Can Save the Cereal Industry

America has a proud tradition of breakfast cereal, dating all the way back to John Harvey Kelloggs' crackpot theories on cornflakes and masturbation prevention. Now, the cereal industry is turning to a new generation of crackpots: people like you.

The Wall Street Journal has a fascinating story today detailing the cereal industry's attempt to improve its sales by getting more adults to eat cereal at times other than breakfast. "As if we ever stopped!" you exclaim, leaning in for another bong hit. Sure, but weedheads will only get the cereal industry so far. As more and more adults turn to breakfast foods that are healthier than sugary cereal—yogurt, eggs, basically any other foodstuff on earth—it becomes ever more important for the cereal manufacturers to make up those lost breakfast sales with increased sales of cereal for dinner.

But what sorts of highly suggestible sugar addicts could the cereal industry possibly be targeting?

Cereal sellers are pinning their hopes on people like Jon Press.

Since he's out the door by 6:45 a.m. weekdays, eating cereal in the morning takes too long, the Potomac, Md., resident says. But after his two children are in bed, it's Cinnamon Toast Crunch time, often while he's at his laptop blogging about Washington Capitals hockey. Sugary cereal for dessert "doesn't feel quite as horrible" as cookies or cupcakes, says Mr. Press

Deadspin readers.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch is a popular snack for 20- and 30-somethings while playing videogames at night, says Ivan Martinez, a consumer insights manager for the cereal division at the company. As a result, Cinnamon Toast Crunch sponsored a videogame conference last year in Los Angeles.

Kotaku readers.

[Cheerios marketing manager Doug] Martin considered reviving an early 1980s Cheerios ad that shows a mother cooking Cheerios in a skillet with butter and salt, then serving it to her children like popcorn. "It's ridiculous," says Mr. Martin

Gawker readers (crazy people who will put anything in their mouths).

Go forth and crunch.

[Pic: Flickr]