“Swedish Pokemon teens terrorized by laser-wielding sex pigs,” reads one headline. “Sex pigs halt traffic after laser attack on Pokémon teens,” screams another. I, however, see something else entirely. I see two Swedes having a romantic night out wearing pig masks and physicalizing their love for each other on public infrastructure. I see two Swedes in love.
A Brooklyn man taken into custody in East New York late on Sunday has been charged in the killing of imam Maulama Akonjee and his assistant Thara Uddin outside the Al-Furqan Jame Masjid mosque in Ozone Park, Queens, on Saturday. Oscar Morel is charged two counts of second-degree murder and two counts of criminal possession of a weapon, police said Monday night.
On Monday, Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane was convicted of nine criminal charges—including two counts of felony perjury—in connection with the illegal release of secret grand jury documents, The New York Times reports. According to prosecutors, Kane, a Democrat, leaked the information to a Philadelphia newspaper to embarrass former prosecutor Frank Fina, who led the investigation of Jerry Sandusky under her Republican predecessor.
On Monday, the Pentagon announced that 15 Guantanamo Bay detainees have been transferred to the United Arab Emirates, bringing the total number of prisoners at the facility to 61. According to CNN, the State Department says this is the largest single transfer of Guantanamo detainees under President Obama.
This morning in Rio, Spanish dressage rider Severo Jesus Jurado Lopez and his horse Lorenzo (please roll the “r”), trotted onto the Olympic course and began a dance routine to the legendary “Smooth” by Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas—perhaps the most indelible song about giving your heart, making it real, or else forgetting about it in the history of recorded music.
I spent one Saturday morning late last year on my couch toggling back from Grindr to Scruff to Grindr to Scruff. I don’t remember what I was looking for; all I remember is that I was looking. At some point, I realized three hours had passed, and I still hadn’t moved from my couch or started my day. Even if I had, it undoubtedly would have been interrupted by a hook-up app, and/or a hook-up, though the latter was far less likely.