Sarah Palin: America Is a Battered Wife That Needs to Shoot Obama

Sarah Palin is tired of John Boehner's genteel, country-club "let's sue the president" politicking. Illegal immigrants are pouring into America and beating her like a cowed domestic, Palin says, adding that it's time to pull a "Goodbye, Earl" on the president, or something to that effect.

Palin outlined her case in a characteristically convoluted goulash of leftover words she microwaved up for online fanzine Breitbart.com Tuesday:

Enough is enough of the years of abuse from this president. His unsecured border crisis is the last straw that makes the battered wife say, "no mas."

What followed was a list of grievances organized like the colonists' plaints to George III in the Declaration of Independence, if that document were a colorful melangè of warrant-free scat stylings on Infowars headlines and Tea Party Angelfire pages:

Without borders, there is no nation. Obama knows this. Opening our borders to a flood of illegal immigrants is deliberate. This is his fundamental transformation of America. It's the only promise he has kept. Discrediting the price paid for America's exceptionalism over our history, he's given false hope and taxpayer's change to millions of foreign nationals who want to sneak into our country illegally...

The many impeachable offenses of Barack Obama can no longer be ignored. If after all this he's not impeachable, then no one is.

And so on and so forth, in a paean to "native-born" Americans and assorted "wonderful legal immigrants."

Needless to say, John Boehner—whose move to sue the sitting president for doing presidential things is looking less and less insane as the itchy knots in his right flank keep spasming for impeachment—disagrees. Asked about Palin's shtick Wednesday, he came out forcefully and decisively, telling reporters: "I disagree."

But America's Hockey Mom™ ain't got time for that:

Boehner's comments came after Palin said Tuesday night on Fox News that the speaker's planned lawsuit against Obama over his use of executive power is a weak maneuver. "You don't bring a lawsuit to a gunfight," she said. "There's no place for lawyers on the front lines."

What do you not get about this, Boehner? It's simple: America is locked in a gunfight with illegals busting forth from Mexico and beating her about the face, who have been hired by her husband in the White House who is stealing her money while she's beaten, money that he'll use to pay her beaters, and even if your lawyers are native-born or wonderful immigrants, Boehner, really, what can they do? My God, man, buy a clue!

[Photo credit: AP Images]