Penn State's Kappa Delta Rho fraternity was suspended for one year earlier this week after a former member exposed the frat's sleazy private Facebook group, where members exchanged photos of passed-out, naked women who did not appear "aware that the photos had been taken."
Here's the statement he sent the magazine, which makes no sense:
It is shameful to see the self-righteousness that has sprung from the woodworks in response to the alleged Penn State fraternity "scandal." Here's a quick reality check: everyone — from Bill Clinton to your grandfather to every Greek organization in the nation does the same old stuff, just as they have been for the entirety of human history. That's where that lil' old quip, don't throw stones if you live in a glass house, comes from. And believe me, we all live in a glass house. Thus it is laughably pathetic to see the media spring on an occasional incident such as this, especially a media complicit in overturning the same sexual mores and moral standards that for millennia had at least to some extent curbed outright licentiousness. The fire of indignant, misplaced self-righteousness that looks to ruin people's lives and unjustly ruin reputations is the abuse and violation that should be at the center of discussion, not the humorous, albeit possibly misguided, antics of a bunch of college kids.
To our Anonymous bro, "every Greek organization in the nation does the same old stuff" isn't the sign of a problem endemic to American fraternity culture, it's a boys-will-be-boys defense. And sharing compromising photos of women without their consent isn't a "scandal," it's just "humorous antics."
This is the sort of solid reasoning you can look forward to throughout his interview, which he begins by comparing the fraternity's punishment to a witch hunt:
When somebody happens to be caught doing the same thing that everyone else is doing … [and] they're just tossed in the crowd, you know. Like back in the Middle Ages, they would find a witch or somebody who the community thought was a witch or something like that and toss them to the crowd, you know? When the person's no different than anyone else.
Oh, indeed. These boys are no different than anyone else who has a scummy Facebook group, which, as Anony-bro suggested in his statement, is probably everyone.
Philly Mag: ... Do you know other fraternities that have similar Facebook pages?
KDR member: No.
The anonymous KDR member goes on to say that he feels the frat's misdeeds and subsequent suspension are being overblown and overreported by the media. "This is not a criminal thing. It's not anyone else's business, pretty much. It's an inter-fraternity thing and that's that," he says.
According to State College police, Kappa Delta Rho members could face criminal charges, including harassment and invasion of privacy.
At some point in the interview, the fraternity member switches from the "everybody else does it" defense to the "it's just, you know fooling around" gambit, describing the photos as rare occurrences in a forum that was "primarily ... for important fraternity business."
"The questionable postings are single instances out of hundreds, if not thousands, of different postings that are related to stuff like community service," he says.
By the way, something you might not know about KDR's secret, skeezy Facebook page is that, in addition to being mainly for chatting about community service, it's also just "satire," comparable to posting "the swimsuit model of the day." (Except the model is nude, unconscious, and hasn't given consent.)
Putting aside that our foot-chewing bro doesn't appear to understand what "satire" means, he has one, final foolproof defense for what the fraternity members did: The group was secret, and those bitches never would have known their pictures had been posted if it hadn't been for that one fuckin' snitch. So basically, it's all his fault.
Philly Mag: But doesn't that put a lot of trust in all 144 guys? Any of them can take a photo from the "secret" group and make it public.
KDR member: But nobody except the one kid who snitched out this group did that …
Any last words, now that you've spent an entire interview obliviously throwing your brothers under the bus?
"I hope nobody gets in trouble because nobody did anything worth getting in trouble over."
The "defense" rests.