<![CDATA[Comments from Furious George]]> <![CDATA[Comments from Furious George]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Emily Gould's Memoirs]]> @AnnaFreud: A good-looking woman succeeds in a manner disproportionate to her talent, and you're confused or shocked by it? Welcome to life; evidently you misplaced the manual. :P

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Emily Gould's Memoirs]]> @MisterHippity: Ha. I wish. Err, maybe I don't? I dunno. How does one contemplate stepping into the shoes of someone so universally reviled? It's sort of like saying "Well, ya know, Germany hasn't had a decent strongman running the show in 50 years..."

My retirement isn't for any sort of emotional or personal reasons; it's just that I've been busy as fuck with b-school and such. Ironic, given that I had more time for Gawker when I was employed than I do in my present state of pre-school unemployment. As much as I'd like to make a return to semiregular contributions here, I just don't see my schedule getting any lighter once the semester actually begins. But who knows?

I'll conclude this post the way I want a movie about my life to conclude, with the dramatic:

"The villagers rejoice, for the evil George is dead and gone. ...OR IS HE?"

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Emily Gould's Memoirs]]> I am coming out of self-imposed retirement just to announce that I'm now retiring.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Why The Internet Ruins Humor: A Sophisticated Theory]]> MY POKEMANS: LET ME SHOW U THEM

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on <i>Cosmo</i>'s Miami Beach Bikini Bash]]> Kinda reminds me of the music video for Sisqo's "Thong Song." Only, you know, without the educational value.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Hemingway Continues to Diss From Beyond the Grave]]> The fact that Papa looks like Sean Connery in that picture makes his awesomeness even more awesome. I can almost hear him mouthing the words "Suck it, Trebek!"

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on <i>Battlestar Galactica</i>: This Week in Space]]> @IntoAshes: Seriously. How can anyone shit talk Baltar when he's basically living the American Dream? Getting a bunch of hot, crazy women to worship you like a god and live in a harem with you does not make you the subject of ridicule. It makes you every bit the god those "girly groupie sex people" (to quote Laura Roslin) think you are.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on <i>Battlestar</i> Prequel: Imagine <i>The Wire</i> In Space]]> @fiveinchtaint: It's an awesome show. It basically realized where Star Trek went wrong, and then corrected those mistakes. "Oh, so you mean nerds want fewer laserguns and more hot chicks? Done!"

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on <i>Idol</i> Loser Judged A Witch]]> @ObtuseIntolerant:Sorry, but when it comes to batshit-insane reactionaries who refuse to accept modern science and who constantly attempt to shove their ghost stories about a 2000-year-old wizard down my throat, I can't keep an open mind. Christians can all burn in hell.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Batman Did 9/11]]> People need to get the fuck over 9/11 already. I mean, seriously? Are you dumbass rednecks out there still fired up by the very mention of 9/11? It happened 7 fucking years ago. Shut the fuck up about it and move on.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Blood-Thirsty Pundits Demand Violent End to Primaries]]> At this point the dems should just start handing out McCain '08 bumper stickers. It's sad, mildly amusing, and even somewhat embarrassing watching them pry defeat from the jaws of victory once again.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on <i>Idol</i> Loser Judged A Witch]]> "only the most close-minded Christians"

Like there's any other kind?

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Bills]]> @Pope John Peeps II: Yeah, he's my landlord. Nice guy, too.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Bills]]> Lydia, if you ever feel like slummin' it with a rich, good-looking, extremely charming guy who speaks 7 languages and doesn't think eating pussy is work, please call me.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented]]> Not having a link to the video? We call that "bad journalism."

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Anonymous Box Slanderer Still At Large?]]> "Mr. Doorman is actually a rape peddler who has drugged two women. Daily News greatly regrets the error."

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Julia TV Gets The Green Light]]> "IT" Girls? There are a lot of things I'd watch on television -- and God knows, some of those things have included strong-man competitions on ESPN2, entire 3-hour infomercials for Esteban guitars, and nature specials about the mating habits of the Mississippi paddlefish -- but I categorically refuse to watch a show about fat, sweaty nerdettes bitching about having to reset my network printer connection.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on The Marines Looking For A Few Good, Highly Suggestible Women]]> You know things are bad when you can start using "Vat a country!" as a punchline to jokes about the US.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on The Silent Staring Japanese Girl Is Ugly, Not Japanese]]> Leave this strange, giant-eyed girl alone. She satisfies several of my latest fetishes, including a Pokemon fetish.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Best Paragraph? More Like Third Quartile!]]> @HeyThatsMyBike: The best paragraph I've read all day was the following blurb on the back of a DVD case:

"DDF, the masters of Euro-Erotica, bring you an amazing volume of gorgeous girls that do nasty things to each other. The first installment in a premier series of lesbo action is finally here. If the cast alone doesn't convince you then the action surely will. Deep pussy and anal penetration throughout. You gotta have it!"

This paragraph is awesome, both for promising hot lesbo action and for announcing that a "first installment" of a series is "finally here."

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Let's All Shame This Lady]]> @belltolls: I was a political prisoner. That Chris Hanson guy is a total fascist, man.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Best Paragraph? More Like Third Quartile!]]> Stephen J. Dubner? More like Stephen J. Lookslikeafuckingloserwhoplayschessandhasdarkcurlyhairandisasuckysucksuckatsports.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Let's All Shame This Lady]]> @Conbon: Guy I ran into at the Matlock convention?

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Because Diamonds, Like MBAs, Are Forever]]> The first rule of Luxury Goods Club is to always talk about Luxury Goods Club.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Shocker Shocker!]]> Two in Isla Fisher's vag, one in Isla Fisher's butt.

...Sorry, I'm daydreaming again.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Let's All Shame This Lady]]> I feel her pain, though usually my loud and imaginary cell phone conversations about "We're up another 10 mill" and "The board OK'd the merger this morning" are meant to be overheard, especially if I'm seated next to a hot chick.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Shocker Shocker!]]> Two in the hope, one in the audacity.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Shocker Shocker!]]> Two in the daisy, one in the crazy.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Shocker Shocker!]]> Two in the Bush, one in the Cheney.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Shocker Shocker!]]> @heartbreakturnip: Therein lies the great irony of The Shocker. It's actually not a very useful finger position. Personally speaking, I think the "bowling ball grip" is the best vag technique, and the simple index-in-the-butt technique is the best method for assplay.

Also, you look like a fucking tool trying to play with boobs, ass, and 'gine with your hands at the same time. Use your tongue for something.

This message brought to you by Margaret Spellings, Secretary of Education.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Shocker Shocker!]]> Two in the "not tonight, honey, I'm tired," one in the "what do you think I am, some kind of whore?"

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Shocker Shocker!]]> Milk, milk, lemonade! Around the corner, fudge is made!

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Because Diamonds, Like MBAs, Are Forever]]> "Ancient Greeks believed that diamonds were pieces of stars fallen to earth."

Yes, and the Ancient Greeks also believed that 8-year-old boys were best educated by 60-year-old pedophiles. What's your point, "world renowned gemologist" Fred Feldmesser?

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Shocker Shocker!]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: BOYS HAVE A PENIS GIRLS HAVE A VAGINA LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!111

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on World Forbidden From Looking At Pretty Things]]> @Sarcastro: This is exactly the kind of shit the French let happen that our own government never would.

Big Derogatory Bumper Sticker is a powerful lobby with many allies in the US government.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on World Forbidden From Looking At Pretty Things]]> This is a serious blow to those of us in the international mail-order "No Fat Chicks" t-shirt industry.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on Tacky Quote From MySpace CEO Matches Rest Of MySpace]]> @Tnuc: MySpace Music is music with attitude. It's edgy! It's "in your face!" You've heard the expression "Let's get busy?" Well, MySpace Music gets biz-zay! Consistently and thoroughly.

]]> <![CDATA[Furious George commented on A Bargain]]> @Maya Twocents: It's exquisitely hand-tailored with only the finest cardboards from the Italian countryside.

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