Children, just FYI, under that glorious toupee of his, Charlie Sheen has a semen-encrusted , concealed-carry silicone mouth shaped like Chuck Lorre's. And it's filled with a potent mix of blow and Angus T Jones' innocence.
@GreatTasteMoreFilling: Correctamundo, My child!
And the next time someone shoves, kicks and stomps on your mother when she expresses a fairly unpopular opinion, I'll be sure to let her know that she's an obnoxious idiot who asked for it when she later comes crying to Me.
And the next time someone shoves, kicks and stomps on your mother when she expresses a fairly unpopular opinion, I'll be sure to let her know that she's an obnoxious idiot who asked for it when she later comes crying to Me.
And Dick Armey and Carl Paladino went out from the Liberals: and Dick Armey and the Koch Brothers cried unto ME because of the bedbugs which they had brought against the Liberals.
And I did according to the word of Dick Armey; and the bedbugs died out of the penthouses, out of the village, and out of the boroughs.
And they gathered them together upon heaps: and the land stank.
But when the Liberals saw that there was respite, they hardened their hearts, and hearkened not unto Sarah Palin; as I had said.
And I said unto Dick Armey and the Koch Brothers, Say unto Carl Paladino, Stretch out thy rod and smite the dust of Manhattan, that it may become stinkbugs throughout all the land of New York City.
And they did so; For Carl stretched out his hand with his rod (well technically speaking, he stretched out his rod with his hand while viewing horse-fucking pics) and smote the dust of the Chelsea sidewalk, and it became stinkbugs upon men, and upon beasts; all the dust of Manhattan became stinkbugs throughout all the land of New York City.
And I did according to the word of Dick Armey; and the bedbugs died out of the penthouses, out of the village, and out of the boroughs.
And they gathered them together upon heaps: and the land stank.
But when the Liberals saw that there was respite, they hardened their hearts, and hearkened not unto Sarah Palin; as I had said.
And I said unto Dick Armey and the Koch Brothers, Say unto Carl Paladino, Stretch out thy rod and smite the dust of Manhattan, that it may become stinkbugs throughout all the land of New York City.
And they did so; For Carl stretched out his hand with his rod (well technically speaking, he stretched out his rod with his hand while viewing horse-fucking pics) and smote the dust of the Chelsea sidewalk, and it became stinkbugs upon men, and upon beasts; all the dust of Manhattan became stinkbugs throughout all the land of New York City.
YES! YES yes yes yes yes yeeeeess.
That's what I'm talkin' bout!
UNh! Girl got schooled!
This is a FANTASTIC day for morality and morality caregivers and anybody who cares about truth, grumpy bald eagles, pubic hair, Coca Cola, Oreo cookies, liberty AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.
There's been a lot of excitement at this wonderful development up here in Casa Lord. Years ago, Satan was all gung-ho about this fancy schmancy Anita Quitbeingamanhatingbeeyotchand... and her nasty homewrecking ways way back then.
I put the kibosh on Satan then and I kiboshed again now! Eat pubes, Satan! The real victims are finally speaking out against this outrage. Angry Black Ladiez, watch out! The Tea Party Express brakes for nobody!
(This woman ain't one of the good ones like Oprah. That's for sure. Even Whoopi ranks way higher on Our Sassy Black Ladies Who Make Us Comfortable rankings.)
Well, rejoice at the glad tidings.I am thuh-rilled, My children. Word on these Heavenly Streets is that Chris Brown will be demanding an apology from Rihanna for battering his poor, wounded fist with her uppity, feminist face. Ann Coulter is thinking about suing the estate of Susun.B.Anthony because Susie Dumbhead destroyed America with this PMS-y lady vote business. My favorite child, Pretty Palin, is considering legal action against raped Alaskan women for squandering precious drops of Me-given baby-maker juice into hundreds of thousands of rape kits. Michele Bachmann will be demanding an apology from the families of Senators Reed Smoot and Willis Hawley for not re-naming them as Hoot and Smalley for her personal convenience. Christine O'Donnell will be leaving strongly-worded voicemails on phones across America demanding that the American people call her back and apologize to her for engaging in self-abuse.
OMG Archangel Mikey just joyfully informed me that Elisabeth Hasselbeck will be demanding an apology from the elitists at Mensa for not considering 'Youngish Blonde MILF' as an acceptable qualification.
Satan has been weeping all day and sniffling some effeminate bs about "sanity" and "has the whole world gone crazy?!" and "what...the...fuck??" and "gall" and "audacity." He muttered something a few minutes ago about "right-wing lady crazies" and made shooting gestures at his head.
I decided to Do The Right Thing and I extended an olive branch to him. And as he relaxed and smiled and came forward with his hand out, I smacked him hard in the face with the olive branch. I actually broke two of his teeth! Then I kicked him sharply in his testicles. After which I proceeded to pee on his face. Then I farted in his general direction. I feel so alive! And so good! I hope he gives it some thought and prays about this and comes to an understanding about why he did what he did. I hope he has a good day. And of course, I would love him to consider an apology some time.
That's what I'm talkin' bout!
UNh! Girl got schooled!
This is a FANTASTIC day for morality and morality caregivers and anybody who cares about truth, grumpy bald eagles, pubic hair, Coca Cola, Oreo cookies, liberty AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.
There's been a lot of excitement at this wonderful development up here in Casa Lord. Years ago, Satan was all gung-ho about this fancy schmancy Anita Quitbeingamanhatingbeeyotchand... and her nasty homewrecking ways way back then.
I put the kibosh on Satan then and I kiboshed again now! Eat pubes, Satan! The real victims are finally speaking out against this outrage. Angry Black Ladiez, watch out! The Tea Party Express brakes for nobody!
(This woman ain't one of the good ones like Oprah. That's for sure. Even Whoopi ranks way higher on Our Sassy Black Ladies Who Make Us Comfortable rankings.)
Well, rejoice at the glad tidings.I am thuh-rilled, My children. Word on these Heavenly Streets is that Chris Brown will be demanding an apology from Rihanna for battering his poor, wounded fist with her uppity, feminist face. Ann Coulter is thinking about suing the estate of Susun.B.Anthony because Susie Dumbhead destroyed America with this PMS-y lady vote business. My favorite child, Pretty Palin, is considering legal action against raped Alaskan women for squandering precious drops of Me-given baby-maker juice into hundreds of thousands of rape kits. Michele Bachmann will be demanding an apology from the families of Senators Reed Smoot and Willis Hawley for not re-naming them as Hoot and Smalley for her personal convenience. Christine O'Donnell will be leaving strongly-worded voicemails on phones across America demanding that the American people call her back and apologize to her for engaging in self-abuse.
OMG Archangel Mikey just joyfully informed me that Elisabeth Hasselbeck will be demanding an apology from the elitists at Mensa for not considering 'Youngish Blonde MILF' as an acceptable qualification.
Satan has been weeping all day and sniffling some effeminate bs about "sanity" and "has the whole world gone crazy?!" and "what...the...fuck??" and "gall" and "audacity." He muttered something a few minutes ago about "right-wing lady crazies" and made shooting gestures at his head.
I decided to Do The Right Thing and I extended an olive branch to him. And as he relaxed and smiled and came forward with his hand out, I smacked him hard in the face with the olive branch. I actually broke two of his teeth! Then I kicked him sharply in his testicles. After which I proceeded to pee on his face. Then I farted in his general direction. I feel so alive! And so good! I hope he gives it some thought and prays about this and comes to an understanding about why he did what he did. I hope he has a good day. And of course, I would love him to consider an apology some time.
The world economy is built like a BRIC shithouse, HamNo! But I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow the house down!
Oh HamNo, you are such a master baiter. How can I resist descending from the dungeons at Casa Lord, where Archangel Raph and I were playing a little lovegame involving blowtorches, cans of paint and elephant hair, down to this Online Internet Blogg when you offer Me pictures of that tasty-ass multi-pronged dildo...fuhr me to poop ahhnn??
But seriously, the Goddy monument is not the issue here! I hope that the monument will someday learn to live on its allowance, which is ample, but if it doesn't, sir, that will be its problem, not mine, just as every bum's lot in life is his own responsibility regardless of whom he chooses to blame !
But seriously, the Goddy monument is not the issue here! I hope that the monument will someday learn to live on its allowance, which is ample, but if it doesn't, sir, that will be its problem, not mine, just as every bum's lot in life is his own responsibility regardless of whom he chooses to blame !
@BadUncle: AAAA+++++++, My son. Also, the feeling is mutual. Who has eleventy kajillion thumbs and likes BadUncle? THIS GUY!!!
So that's where I left Pokey Man and Fat Jesus, my favorite dildo and butt-plug.
@thatgirlinnewyork: Thank you, My daughter. Morality FTW! P.S: don't you mean 'welcum' ?
Oh. My. Me.
I have finally succeeded in bringing family values back to this Online Internet Blogg. I just talked to Satan who promptly shat his dastardly pants and reluctantly conceded this territory to me. However he insisted that he still has major holdings in the Ukraine. When I laughed at that, a giant demon in an ushanka hat smashed my electronic spinning model of the globe and proclaimed angrily "Ukraine not weak!!"
While I too shat my pants, I ran away back to Casa Lord. ( not an easy achievement, mind you. Try it some time. it's harder than it looks) I just commenced massive celebrations celebrating the rebirth of morality. Special banners hang everywhere announcing ' MISSION ACCOMPLISHED'. I just let out Archangel Raphael from his cage in the dungeon. After all he knows where to get the best blow. Archangel Mikey found some kind-hearted three-breasted hookers from Hell, complete with hearts of gold. Archangel Gabe will, as usual, be doing his famous go-go dancing routine that Roy Cohn taught him, special shiny thong underwear and nipple tassles courtesy of J.Edgar Hoover.
MMmm, good times.
I have finally succeeded in bringing family values back to this Online Internet Blogg. I just talked to Satan who promptly shat his dastardly pants and reluctantly conceded this territory to me. However he insisted that he still has major holdings in the Ukraine. When I laughed at that, a giant demon in an ushanka hat smashed my electronic spinning model of the globe and proclaimed angrily "Ukraine not weak!!"
While I too shat my pants, I ran away back to Casa Lord. ( not an easy achievement, mind you. Try it some time. it's harder than it looks) I just commenced massive celebrations celebrating the rebirth of morality. Special banners hang everywhere announcing ' MISSION ACCOMPLISHED'. I just let out Archangel Raphael from his cage in the dungeon. After all he knows where to get the best blow. Archangel Mikey found some kind-hearted three-breasted hookers from Hell, complete with hearts of gold. Archangel Gabe will, as usual, be doing his famous go-go dancing routine that Roy Cohn taught him, special shiny thong underwear and nipple tassles courtesy of J.Edgar Hoover.
MMmm, good times.
WHOA WHOA. Whoa. My kids, back away slowly from your computers and this communist Dylan RAT-tigant sinner. (I'll be dealing with him. Methinks a tiny plague of baldness and erectile dysfunction will set him straight)
Dylan RAT-tigant and this bizarre Online Internet Blogg has begun a dark and disturbing journey towards that most dangerously un-American of things : Reality.
Do you have any idea of the scale of the destruction and despair that will be unleashed when you turn from paranoia to reality-based thinking? It's...iiiiit's unbelievable. Satan is laughing in his lair right now. Right freakin' now. He told me he's gonna fly out of hell, (yes Meatloaf-fans, just like a bat. Except Satan has an electric car. Tres gay. On occasion, he drives a Prius.) and he will rain a plague of lesbian truck-drivers on America. And homosexual Marines who will have sex. Homosexual-type all-naked butty-butty sex. Maybe even on the White House lawn. It could happen. It could happen. Imagine that. And then, every white picket fence in the Midwest will be vandalized and painted over with Scissor Sisters lyrics. And FSU cheerleaders will develop glandular problems and become fat. And Marilyn Manson will become President. And the Vice-President will be Iman. A real muslin Iman. And Roundup will stop working as our premier weed-killer. The socialist Nazi Kenyan dictator-in-chief will ban bowling and morning cereal. Then his angry black wife will angrily grow big green bunches of organic arugula and destroy small Mon and Pop businesses in the American heartland like McDonalds and TGI. And Pedophiles will roam free and make Christina Hendricks wear a burqa. Eggs in supermarkets across America will spontaneously explode. Tearrists will roam the streets masturbating and doing abortion in malls using nothing more than cheese pretzels and cinnamon buns. And then feminists will come along and eat the dead babies and the pretzels and cinnamon buns.
So you have to think rationally now, My children. You must liberate your minds from the chains of reality. Reality is the tool of Satan. It can lead to pedophilia and homosinuality and alternative lifestyle choices and eventually: death. Also terrorists. Brown ones. The worst kind.
So you have to ask yourself right now. What's it gonna be, punk? Are you feeling lucky?
Dylan RAT-tigant and this bizarre Online Internet Blogg has begun a dark and disturbing journey towards that most dangerously un-American of things : Reality.
Do you have any idea of the scale of the destruction and despair that will be unleashed when you turn from paranoia to reality-based thinking? It's...iiiiit's unbelievable. Satan is laughing in his lair right now. Right freakin' now. He told me he's gonna fly out of hell, (yes Meatloaf-fans, just like a bat. Except Satan has an electric car. Tres gay. On occasion, he drives a Prius.) and he will rain a plague of lesbian truck-drivers on America. And homosexual Marines who will have sex. Homosexual-type all-naked butty-butty sex. Maybe even on the White House lawn. It could happen. It could happen. Imagine that. And then, every white picket fence in the Midwest will be vandalized and painted over with Scissor Sisters lyrics. And FSU cheerleaders will develop glandular problems and become fat. And Marilyn Manson will become President. And the Vice-President will be Iman. A real muslin Iman. And Roundup will stop working as our premier weed-killer. The socialist Nazi Kenyan dictator-in-chief will ban bowling and morning cereal. Then his angry black wife will angrily grow big green bunches of organic arugula and destroy small Mon and Pop businesses in the American heartland like McDonalds and TGI. And Pedophiles will roam free and make Christina Hendricks wear a burqa. Eggs in supermarkets across America will spontaneously explode. Tearrists will roam the streets masturbating and doing abortion in malls using nothing more than cheese pretzels and cinnamon buns. And then feminists will come along and eat the dead babies and the pretzels and cinnamon buns.
So you have to think rationally now, My children. You must liberate your minds from the chains of reality. Reality is the tool of Satan. It can lead to pedophilia and homosinuality and alternative lifestyle choices and eventually: death. Also terrorists. Brown ones. The worst kind.
So you have to ask yourself right now. What's it gonna be, punk? Are you feeling lucky?
@LatestBy: This aggression will not stand, My child. As part of my Godly globalization Initiative, Vishnu, Shiva and I have launched a strategic international partnership to punish this infidel for his crimes against good design.
I too assaulted the Constitution many times. What a cocktease. But I did it for America. And I must say it hurt Me much more than it hurt the Constitution.
My children, I gotta say this is an excellent miniature scale model of the Ambani family dildo that is used to ass-fuck poor and lower-caste Indians. Rumor up here (according to what Shiva stealthily whispered over our power-breakfast this morning, but don't tell Him I told you!) has it that the relentless ass-fucking of the dalits will stop once the slumdwelling dalits finish counting backwards from infinity to 0, twice.
Or when Nita Ambani (Mukey's wifey) comes to appreciate the piquant irony in her brilliant speech, to be delivered tomorrow to eager, breathless academics at the London School of Economics, no less, entitled:
Towards an Indian Renaissance: Building Institutions of Excellence.
My money is on the dalits, kiddos.
Since My gas pains have abated somewhat and I'm in a resultant good mood, here's a little piccy of Nita Ambani adjusting the little fancy storage bags where she keeps her brain so it doesn't roll off her skull, fall down and get lost in the shag carpeting.
Dalits FTW, kids. Their brains are too big to roll off, see? Makes it easier for 'em to count backwards from infinity to 0, twice. It's called affirmative action, folks. To whom more is given, therefrom more is demanded.
ETA: With great power comes great responsibility etc. YouknowwhatImean.
Or when Nita Ambani (Mukey's wifey) comes to appreciate the piquant irony in her brilliant speech, to be delivered tomorrow to eager, breathless academics at the London School of Economics, no less, entitled:
Towards an Indian Renaissance: Building Institutions of Excellence.
My money is on the dalits, kiddos.
Since My gas pains have abated somewhat and I'm in a resultant good mood, here's a little piccy of Nita Ambani adjusting the little fancy storage bags where she keeps her brain so it doesn't roll off her skull, fall down and get lost in the shag carpeting.
Dalits FTW, kids. Their brains are too big to roll off, see? Makes it easier for 'em to count backwards from infinity to 0, twice. It's called affirmative action, folks. To whom more is given, therefrom more is demanded.
ETA: With great power comes great responsibility etc. YouknowwhatImean.
@bwilli: The cosmos is my bed, My son. And boy, do I shit the bed.
The revolution is over! Condolences! The bums lost!
I have decided to cast My ruling on this before things get out of hand. Yes, as some of you have suspected, he is very much a minion of Satan. He is not a humble octopus as much as he is a marine demon looking to tentacle-fuck Judeo-Christian monotheism right in the pooper. Don't let him get there, My children. This octopus has forgotten his place. The great brown eye of monotheism must stay virginal!
@resipsaloquacious: And for shits and giggles, I forged the universe's signature on the DNR, My son.
@BxgrlJeri: Choking as one sucks it is one option disguised as two.
