WHERE DID YOU GO. And my real name isn't really Phyllis Nefler! I'll tell you what it is if only you'd return!! (Note, it's way less velvet-walled Grandma and way more boring-bandwagon Child of the 80s.)

I regret knowing this, but it's "Rolla," Missouri, in the McCain piece.
Really, I do read for more than the typos, I swear!

Dear Michael Weiss,

You are the greatest gift Gawker has ever given. Don't never change.

If you try to leave I will sit on your foot and grab on to your leg. Just a heads up.

Love,
Phyl (I feel that we can be on a first syllable basis from now on.)