OldTowneTavern commented on Oprah Makes It Official: She's Leaving Syndicated TV in 2011

"Like Michael Jordan, Oprah is leaving to join a Major League Baseball team."

OldTowneTavern commented on The Writers Report Charts

"When do I get to be somebody's Twofer?"

OldTowneTavern commented on Sarah Palin Is Using Her Newsweek Cover to Trick You Into Taking Her Seriously

"Yes, she's dim-witted and loathsome, and she did agree to take this silly photo, but there is something about Newsweek's decision to use it, that is even bitchier than my description."

OldTowneTavern commented on Angelina Jolie's Face Spurs Massive Internet Dialogue

"I heard they originally wanted "Got Salt?" showing Jolie in close up with the seasoning sprinkled over her top lip as she sucked a wedge of lime ---but then no one thought about the movie anymore."

OldTowneTavern commented on Taylor Swift's Conquest of All Show Business Nearly Complete

"So she sings Country?"

OldTowneTavern commented on Ali Wise Confident These Crazy Stalking Charges Won't Hurt Her Career

"I've had it with this shoes-having-nothing-to-do-with-the-outfit thing of the 2000s."

OldTowneTavern commented on Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely

""All that housework just to get laid once a week!" Once a week is 52 times a year."